All the King's Horses
by IdPattThat
Summary: When an unexpected tragedy threatens to tear their family apart, Leah and Edward must find the strength to put the pieces back together.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns their names, I own the rest. **

**Killerlashes betas, ThatIsRiddik promised to hold my hand. **

**I don't know how updates will be so I apologize in advance. **

**This is going to hurt a little. **

**PS - This is in no way associated with Accidental Atonement, just FYI. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Prologue<p>

**When an unexpected tragedy threatens to tear their family apart, Leah and Edward must find the strength to put the pieces back together. **

The house was dark as I pulled up, my first clue that she was pissed. Not even the porch light had been left on. I groaned as I dragged myself out of the car and up the front steps, not wanting to face her wrath but knowing I would have to do it eventually.

I slipped off my coat and let it fall to the floor by the front door. My keys clanged loudly as I dropped them on the dining room table, but I didn't notice. The alcohol had made me numb in more ways than one. As I made my way down the hall to our bedroom I started to shrug out of my shirt, too eager for the solace of a soft bed and a warm body beside me, no matter how mad my wife would be.

All thoughts of sleep left me, however, when I tried and failed to open the door.

It was locked.

I knocked loudly.

"Open the door," I called, and then waited to no avail. I knocked again, with a closed fist this time. The sound of it echoed through the house.

"Come on, Leah." I pressed my forehead to the wood and sighed. "Open the goddamned door!" I hit the door with an open palm knowing that even if she were dead asleep it would wake her up.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Edward?" The door finally swung open and I sighed with relief. My relief was short-lived however when I caught sight of her eyes, bright with anger directed solely at me.

"Finally," I grumbled and tried to side-step her into the bedroom. She held her arm against the door jamb and glared.

"I just got Caroline to sleep. Will you keep your voice down?" she said through clenched teeth.

"I just want to sleep. Can't we argue about this tomorrow?" I rolled my eyes and leaned against the wall.

"Of course we can. We always do, don't we?" Leah said softly, and I swear I heard her voice crack. Before I could answer she'd closed the door again, closing me out of my own bedroom.

I swore and made my way down the hall to Caroline's room, wondering whether the couch or her little twin bed would leave me worse for wear in the morning. I stopped at the door before Caroline's, though; there was something off about it. The door had hardly been opened in six months, but now it was, cracked just enough to let the faint light from the streetlamp spill into the hallway.

With shaking hands I traced the stenciled _E_ on the door with my finger before pushing the door open further and stepping inside. I felt my breath leave me as I did. It was a study in green, his favorite color. Toys were scattered on the floor and the bed was unmade. There was an empty glass on the nightstand and a pair of tennis shoes at my feet. All part of the everyday detritus of little-boydom, looking as though its owner would walk back in here any second.

It smelled like him, too. Like little boy: dirt and books and laundry detergent.

I felt my eyes fill with tears and before I knew what was happening I was on my knees with my head in my hands.

Six months ago we'd lost him.

Six months ago our lives, our family– _everything_– had started to unravel.

After a moment I picked myself off the floor and fell into his bed, not caring about dust or dirt or anything else. I buried myself in his pillow and breathed deeply, wishing he were still with us– with me.

I wished I could hold him one last time. That I could kiss him goodnight or read him one last bedtime story.

But I couldn't.

He was gone and I couldn't do anything about it.

All I could do was let the pain consume me each and every day because if it didn't hurt then it felt like he hadn't been real.

And I had to believe he was real.


	2. Chapter One

**Ohai. Thank you for such a lovely response for the first chapter, it means so much! :) **

**Steph owns, killerlashes betas, ThatIsRiddik prereads. **

**I'll hold your hand if you hold mine. **

**XOXO**

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><p>All the King's Horses - Chapter One<p>

EPOV

The smell of coffee and scrambled eggs greeted me as I stepped out of our bedroom, showered and fully dressed, but feeling like absolute hell. It had been a long day and, thanks to my coping mechanisms, an even longer night. My anger and pain seemed to be getting worse every single day; maybe I should be honest and label my behavior as the non-coping mechanism I knew it was.

"_Edward, I don't think this is the best choice for you to make," Jessica said softly as she reached for my hand. _

_I yanked my hand, and the keys I knew she was trying to take, out of her grasp. _

"_Mind your own fucking business, Jess," I muttered and climbed into my truck. _

"_You _are _my business, Edward. We used to be friends, right?" She asked with a pleading look in her blue eyes. I laughed and rubbed my face with my hand before starting the engine. _

"_Used to be..." I mused. "A lot of things 'used to be', Jess. I've got to go." _

"_Please be careful." I heard her say just before I slammed the door and sped out of the parking lot. Part of me wondered if she'd call Leah to let her know I was on my home, but I knew Jess would try her best to not get involved. It wasn't anyone's place to, anyways. _

I took a deep breath and made my way down the hall. His bedroom door was closed again, this time by my own hands. I didn't think about why it was opened, but I knew I wouldn't be stepping foot in it again. Behind the door, the bed was made, though everything else was the same. I couldn't find it in myself to change anything else.

"Daddy!" Caroline practically yelled as she stepped out of her bedroom.

"Hey, Sweet." I lifted her into my arms and kissed her cheek. She took my face in her tiny hands and stared at me for a long moment before breaking into a toothy grin.

"I sleeped in your bed last night!"

"I know you did," I replied with a forced smile. "Where's Mama?"

"Making breakfast," she said before settling her head on my shoulder and wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Is it raining today?" I asked as I eyed her polka-dotted rain boots.

She eyed me as if I were the crazy one and shrugged. "No." I chuckled and set her down as we reached the kitchen. Leah's back was to me and her long hair spilled over her shoulders, covering her face from my view. I could tell by the way she slammed cabinets and haphazardly poured milk into two coffee cups that she was pissed. Not to mention the fact that she was muttering under her breath.

"Caroline!" she called before turning around and seeing us both standing behind her. "You scared me!" Leah pressed her hand over her heart before cautiously meeting my eyes.

"Sorry!" Caroline giggled and settled herself at the breakfast table. Leah tore her eyes away from mine and placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of Caroline.

I slipped my arm around my wife's waist and kissed her head softly. Well, I tried to, but she slipped away before I could get very far. I stifled a groan and turned back to my daughter, who oblivious to our non-exchange.

"I need you to pick Caroline up after school and take her to my mom's, can you do that?" she asked without looking at me. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the fact that she was implying I couldn't take care of my own daughter.

"Bella can't get her today?" I asked as I pulled Caroline into my lap and stole a bite of her toast. Leah set a cup of coffee in front of me. I took it as a peace offering.

"No, she has a meeting and Mom can't leave the diner. I have a tutoring session after school…" she trailed off and gazed out the window, waiting for me to say 'no'.

"It's fine, babe." I bounced Caroline on my knee and she laughed quietly. Warmth spread through my chest at her happiness. Something that our home had seriously lacked lately.

"Can't I go to work with you after school, Daddy?" She looked up at me with big, dark eyes.

"You don't want to come to the smelly garage!" I teased and dug my fingers into her sides.

"I do!" she giggled. "I want to be with you," Caroline said softly and stuck out her lower lip.

"Okay," I whispered and kissed her nose, very aware of Leah's eyes on us.

"Go change your shoes, baby," Leah said before holding her hand out to Caroline and helping her from my lap. She stomped out of the kitchen in her little boots and I laughed. Leah gave me a tight smile and leaned against the counter with her arms folded across her chest.

"You can't keep doing this, Edward."

I sighed and stood, slowly making my way across the kitchen to her. She picked at her fingernails, always stained with some kind of paint, and avoided my gaze.

I wanted to tell her I was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again…but I couldn't. I wouldn't make promises that I couldn't keep. So instead, I pulled her against me and let her bury her face in my chest. Her arms wrapped around my middle and she let out a shuddering breath. I let my hands run through her hair before pulling her face to mine and kissing her gently.

"I love you," I said against her lips. She closed her eyes and nodded before kissing me again with her eyes closed tightly and her hands pressed to my back. Like she was holding on and pushing me away at the same time.

"I'm ready!" Caroline announced herself and we broke apart quickly. Leah laughed quietly before pressing her lips to my chin and shaking her head.

"I said _shoes_ Caroline Jane," she said with just a hint of authority as she eyed our daughter's cowboy boots.

"I'll take care of it. You go to work," I told Leah.

"Fine," she sighed. "I'll see you tonight?" It was a question, not a statement.

I nodded and watched her walk away before heading back down the hall to make sure Caroline put on the correct shoes.

"You ready, little girl?" I asked as I pushed her bedroom door open. She shoved something under her pillow and turned to me quickly, her dark brown curls flying around her face.

"Oh! You scared me, Daddy. I'm ready. I put on my sneakers because they help me run fast when Tucker chases me," she explained as we made our way back down the hall.

"Tucker? Who's Tucker?" I asked as I slipped on her backpack and handed her the little Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox that was sitting on the counter.

"He's my friend at school."

"Why does he chase you?"

"I don't know, he likes me."

"Huh." I opened the door and she climbed into the backseat of my truck. I buckled her in before slamming the door and climbing into the driver's seat.

"Can you play my song?" she asked as I pulled out of the driveway. I chuckled to myself and slipped in a CD that I kept especially for her. It was hard not to smile listening to her sing "Sweet Caroline" the whole way to her preschool.

"Be good today," I told her at the steps of the school.

"Daddy! I'm always good." Caroline laughed and threw her arms around my neck.

"Oh, well, do something bad then!" I pulled her to me and kissed her loudly. "I love you."

"I love you, Daddy," she called as she ran into the school. I watched her disappear around a corner, smiling to myself.

LPOV

"Shit," I muttered as I stepped into my classroom. It looked like a fucking hurricane had come through, exactly like I'd left it the previous afternoon. My trash was overflowing, scraps of paper littered the ground, and a bottle of tempera paint had opened and congealed in a puddle under the table.

"Quite the mess you've got here," I heard from behind me. I turned quickly, glaring. "Down, girl." Jacob held up his hands in surrender.

"Grab a mop or a custodian, your choice," I threw back at him. He chuckled and ripped off a handful of paper towels before trying to wipe up the paint. I tied up the garbage and tossed it out into the hall, still seething at the fact that they seemed to think it was okay to overlook the art room.

"That's a little better," he said as he tossed the paper towels into the trash. "So. Weekly status report. How are things?"

I turned away from him before I answered, trying to put on my game face. Jacob and I had been friends since we were kids. All of us had, really. Edward's family and mine, along with Jacob and some of our other close friends. We all grew up within twenty miles of each other, spending weekends down on First Beach with our parents or camped out in someone's backyard.

"Fine." I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant.

"Lee…I know," he said softly.

"Know what?" I asked as I settled myself at my desk.

"About Edward."

"What about Edward?" I narrowed my eyes and he shifted his feet.

"Well…_you_ know."

"No, Jacob, I don't know. Please enlighten me. What new small-town gossip have you heard about my husband?"

"Oh, come on, don't be like that, Leah. I'm not the only one that saw him stumbling out of Newton's last night with Jessica." He sat on one of my student's stools and settled his gaze on me.

I rubbed my face with the heel of my hand and leaned on my desk, seething.

"Please don't involve yourself in this, Jake."

"If he's fucking around on you I'll kill him, Leah," Jacob said quietly.

"You've known Edward his entire life. You know he'd never!" I slammed my hands on the desk and stood up. Edward feeling sorry for himself and letting the whole town know was one thing, but the fact that everyone thought he was cheating on me was something totally different.

See, _I_ had known Edward my entire life too. He was the most loyal person I'd ever met. No matter what was going on with him I knew he was faithful to our marriage.

"I don't know anymore," he muttered.

"He's the father of my childr-," I choked, the word catching in my throat…_children._ I didn't have _children _anymore. "He's the father of my kid, Jake. He wouldn't."

"You can't be sure…"

"I can. Just go, Jacob. I can't have this conversation with you." I turned away, blinking furiously. Hadn't my family been through enough without one of my best friends believing everything the gossipers of Forks told him?

"I'm just looking out for you, Lee," Jacob told me. He rested his hand on my shoulder and attempted to turn me to him. I stood strong and refused to move.

"Then tell them to mind their own fucking business. And while you're at it – you do the same." I stormed out of my classroom and down the hall before ducking into the girls' bathroom. I splashed my face with cold water and caught a glimpse of myself in the filmy mirror.

With my lank hair and dark circles under my eyes…I looked like shit. I wouldn't be surprised if my husband _were_ cheating on me. The bathroom door opened before I could think about it anymore.

"Hey, Mrs. Cullen," a mousy brunette girl greeted me.

"Oh! Hi, Julie. You're a little early, aren't you?" I checked my watch.

"My mom had a conference with Mr. Banner," she sighed. "I'm failing Biology."

"Don't worry. I failed Bio too." I tossed her a smile before slipping out of the bathroom and back into my classroom. The rest of the mess had been cleaned up; I assumed Jacob's guilt had gotten the best of him.

After I sent a threatening email to the head of our facilities staff, I prepared for my class of freshmen. Seriously, freshmen were the least creative of all of my students. It was like pulling teeth to get them to create anything that didn't revolve around texting, clothes, or each other.

By lunchtime I was ready to curl up on the couch with a bottle of wine.

"Everything okay?" Angela asked once I'd finally made it to the teachers' lounge.

"Yeah. Fine." I sat at the table next to her and rubbed my temples. "Just looking forward to this day being over."

"I bet," she muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"Nothing," Angela replied and avoided my gaze.

"You too, Ang?" I shook my head sadly and stood up from the table.

"We're just worried about you, that's all," she said quietly. I blinked back tears for the second time that day.

"Then maybe people should ask before assuming," I managed to spit out before turning on my heel and leaving the room without lunch.

I found myself back at my desk, the pictures there mocking me: a happy family with content, smiling faces. Beautiful children and a husband and wife who loved each other more than anything.

That life didn't even seem real anymore.


	3. Chapter Two

**Steph owns. **

**Huge thanks to killerlashes and ThatIsRiddik. **

**Thanks to you for reading. XOXO**

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Two<p>

EPOV

"What's this one do, Daddy?" Caroline asked as she pointed over the top of an Oldsmobile I was working on.

"That's the battery," I explained.

"Like the batteries in my toys? It helps them go?"

"Yep. If a car doesn't have a battery it can't go." I smiled and brushed a stray curl away from her face.

"Did your daddy teach you this too?" She looked up at me with big brown eyes.

"He sure did. And now I get to teach _you,"_ I said as I yanked her away and threw her up into the air. She wrapped her arms around my neck when I caught her and then I tickled her until she was a giggling mess in my arms. She sighed and rested her head in the crook of my neck.

"You smell like an engine," she whispered. I chuckled and carried her out of the garage and into my office.

"Well, what did you expect?" I asked before plopping her down in my chair and reaching for a juice box in the small refrigerator I kept in my office.

Caroline shrugged and spun around in my desk chair, laughing to herself.

"You'll toss your cookies if you keep doing that," I heard from the doorway.

"Papa!" Caroline jumped down from the chair and hobbled to the door where my father-in-law was standing.

"Hey, beautiful girl." He lifted her into his arms and kissed her cheek with his eyes on me the whole time. I felt like I was being interrogated with one stare.

"Caroline, why don't you go and get Papa that picture you drew earlier," I told her, clenching my fists at my sides. She nodded and ran back into the shop where she'd been coloring.

"What's going on, son?" Charlie stepped to me and I relaxed a little bit at his calm tone, though I should have known better.

"Nothing much." I shrugged.

"You going to tell me why half the town feel the need to tell me they saw you stumbling out of a bar last night?"

"Fuck," I muttered and fell into the chair that Caroline vacated.

"Don't make me kill you, Edward," he said _without_ his signature mustache twitch. "You know I have a shotgun and a shovel."

I nodded. He didn't have to tell me twice.

"I just went out for a drink after work," I explained, pissed off that my father-in-law was being dragged into gossip.

"And that's all?" Charlie gave me his designated cop stare and I recoiled. He hadn't given me that look since we'd told him and Sue we were getting married…and pregnant on top of that.

I frowned. "I love her, Charlie. You know that." I hardly remembered leaving the bar last night, but I recalled enough to know that all I did was drink…alone.

"Sometimes it isn't enough, son."

"I'm just…" I trailed off and met his eyes. I knew I could talk to him about it if I needed to. Hell, I knew I could talk to anyone - but Charlie especially. He'd seen plenty of loss, after all. He'd watched his first wife walk out and leave him with a three-year-old, and then stood by as his best friend died after a car accident and leave his own wife and two kids.

Charlie knew loss...but he also knew how to overcome it. I wasn't sure I could.

His gaze softened and he nodded slowly. "Just…think about your family, Edward," he said before turning on his heel and leaving me alone in my office.

I leaned on the desk and watched his cruiser drive away. Think about my family? That's all I ever did. It's all I ever I _had _done.

"Where's my Papa?" Caroline asked as she slipped back into the side door of the office. Her face fell when she realized Charlie was gone and her bottom lip poked out.

"Sorry, baby. He had to get back to work." I pulled her into my lap and rested my chin on her beautiful, perfect little head.

"Oh. Okay." She leaned herself against me and placed her picture on the desk in front of us. I picked it up and felt my heart clench at the sight of four little stick figures in front of a yellow house: our family.

"C'mon. Let's finish our car, okay?" I set her on her feet and she ran ahead of me back into the garage. I followed slowly, Charlie's words rolling around in my head: _Sometimes it isn't enough._

It had to be enough...it was all I had.

LPOV

"No, you have to put this one here and…there you go!" Edward laughed as he held our daughter over the open hood of an old car.

"Did I fix it?" Caroline asked excitedly.

"I think so. I'll have to put you on the payroll," he teased. I smiled as I watched him close the hood and wipe off his hands and then lead Caroline to the sink. He helped her wash her hands and then took her face in his own and kissed her head. His fingers brushed through her curls and I felt a strange pang of guilt.

Those hands: Edward had doctor's hands. Long, slender fingers and skin that was always warm and inviting. Not mechanic's hands. But, yet, here he was in this- no, in _his_ "smelly garage", as he had so eloquently put it.

He loved the garage for more than the work, though. It carried so many memories for him, especially those of his father.

"_Sorry I'm late!" I called as I rushed into Esme's bakery. "Mr. Banner made me stay after and clean the lab, even though I didn't make the mess. It was awful. There were frog guts everywhere! But he said he'd give me extra credit if I did and –" _

"_Gross, Dishwater, I hope you washed your hands afterwards," Edward laughed from behind me. _

"_Edward!" I cried, dropping my apron and turning quickly to him. _

"_In the flesh." He grinned. _

"_What are you doing here?" I picked up the apron and tried to ignore the way his t-shirt stretched across his chest or the way one side of his mouth pulled up when he smiled at me. Or the fact that my heart was beating a mile a minute. _

_Edward shrugged and snatched the apron from my hands then slipped it over his head. _

"_Dad's not feeling too well, I thought I'd come home and help out for a while." He leaned against the counter and gazed at me, his grass-green eyes raking over my jeans and tight-fitted t-shirt. I nearly caught fire from the heat of my blush. _

"_What about school?" I asked, frowning. He shrugged again and twirled the end of the apron tie absently. _

"_I took the semester off. I can finish my AA in Port Angeles and maybe go back later." _

"_But it's Stanford, Edward. You worked so hard!" I chided him. Edward gave me a small smile and reached out to tap my chin up with his index finger. _

"_It's family, Leah," he said as if he were thinking about what to have for lunch or what television show to watch. His entire life had changed, and it seemed like it was the easiest decision he ever had to make. _

"_There you are, sweetheart," Esme greeted me before turning to her son. "Edward Anthony, your father is waiting. Stop bothering Leah." _

"_Yes, ma'am," Edward grumbled and took off my apron, and then slipped it over my head for me. His fingers brushed against the skin of my neck as he situated it for me. I bit my lip and hoped to whoever that he couldn't hear my pulse pounding in my head. "See you around, Dishwater." _

"_Bye, Teddy," I whispered with a small smile. He rewarded me with a grin and a quick squeeze of my fingers before disappearing out the door. _

I shook my head and focused on the scene in front of me. My husband and daughter, living and breathing and in the present.

"Hey," Edward said with a small smile when he finally saw me.

"Hi," I replied, trying to find a smile for him.

"How was your day?" he asked with a quick kiss to my cheek. I gave him a non-committal shrug and bit my lip. Edward reached out and rubbed my shoulder before pulling me against him. I fell into his body, breathing in the fabric of his light blue jumpsuit: motor oil and his aftershave, two things that I'd grown to know and love in the past ten or so years.

"I need to go get dinner started," I said as I pulled away. "Let's go, baby girl," I called to Caroline who was running circles around a huge stack of tires.

"I'll see you at home." He caught our daughter in his arms and hugged her tightly before walking us both to the car.

"Did you have fun with Daddy?" I asked as we drove through the neighborhoods.

"Yep. He taught me stuff about cars, like his daddy did."

"He's good at that, huh?" I smiled and watched her in the rearview mirror.

"Uh huh. I like watching Daddy at work. He's good at it," she explained.

"Very good," I muttered. It was true. Edward threw himself one hundred percent into everything he did. Well…almost everything. Lately it fell like so many things were falling by the wayside...me included.

Caroline and I got dinner ready, and Edward kept his promise. He was home and showered by dinnertime.

We were quiet while we ate and neither one of us interested in going over the previous night's events. Edward's nights out hadn't started until very recently. It started with drinks with the guys after work or staying late at his brother's house…but now it was different. Now it was him alone, and it was happening more and more.

He'd come home, we'd exchange snide comments, and he'd spend the rest of the week making up for it. It was a vicious cycle that had taken over our lives.

I hated it.

I put Caroline to bed and found Edward in the living room watching something on ESPN and working on a supply order. He smiled when I came in and patted the cushion next to him, but I curled up on the end of the couch with a sketch pad instead and rested my feet in his lap. Edward closed his laptop and took my socked feet in his hands, his fingers massaging the soles and relaxing me more than I had been in weeks.

My hand moved quickly over the page, shades and lines coming together perfectly and almost unconsciously. Some things I didn't even have to think about when I drew them.

Edward rested his hand on my thigh and leaned over to see what I was working on, but I pulled the book to my chest.

"What are you drawing?"

"Landscapes," I said flicking his hair out of his eyes and pushing him away. He turned his attention back to the television and I watched the corner of his mouth turn up.

"_You're always studying." I frowned down at my blank pad and felt Edward shift beside me. _

"_I've got to get into a good school, Leah," he sighed. _

"_You're only a sophomore!" I laughed and shoved his shoulder. _

"_It's never too early." He grinned and went back to his book. I watched Emmett and Bella playing with Seth in the yard before turning back to Edward. His hair hung in his face and little beads of sweat had formed on his forehead and upper lip. I loved the way his lips moved as he read to himself and I briefly let myself wonder what they would feel like against my own. _

"_Hey, Teddy?" I whispered. _

"_Yeah?" He didn't look up from his book or even make face at my stupid nickname for him. _

"_Never mind," I muttered and let my hand move across my paper, watching him come to life by my fingers._

_He spoke a few minutes later. "What are you drawing?" _

_I glanced at my paper and then his face, suddenly nervous and trying to think of the most unexciting thing I could possibly be drawing. _

"_Landscapes," I blurted before snapping my book shut. He shrugged and went back to his book while I breathed a sigh of relief. _

_It would be another two years before he found my secret stash of "landscape" pictures. _

"Mama?" I looked up to see Caroline stumbling into the living room with her hands behind her back.

"What are you doing out of bed?" I tossed my book on the coffee table and her lower lip trembled.

"I did something bad," she whispered. Tears started to fall to her cheeks and I moved to go to her. Edward grabbed my arm to stop me and I turned to glare, but stopped short when I saw the concern in his eyes.

"What happened, baby?" he asked.

"Last night, before I went to sleep in your bed I went to his room," she hiccupped.

"What do you mean?" he frowned.

"Eli's room. I went to Eli's room. I just miss him a lot and I thought that if I could have something from his room maybe I wouldn't miss him so much…" She trailed off and pulled a blue stuffed bunny from behind her back. I heard Edward's breathing hitch and my eyes filled with tears. "I don't want him to be mad at me from Heaven!"

_She missed him_. Of course she did. We all did.

We'd hardly even said his name in the six months since he'd been gone, but there it was again. Three little letters that meant more than anything.

_Eli. _

Before I could even move from my spot, Edward was there. He was quick to pull her into his arms and carry her back to her bedroom. I cast a quick glance around the room and figured we were done for the night. I turned the television off and made my way to the bedroom. I could hear Edward talking quietly as I passed Caroline's bedroom, though I didn't dare intrude. I slipped into a tank top and a pair of Edward's boxers before burying myself under the covers and looking forward to having my husband back in our bed.

EPOV

"So, I can keep him?" she asked quietly. I nodded and kissed her forehead.

"You can keep him, but no more sneaking around, okay?"

"I was just so sad," Caroline whispered. I pressed my forehead to hers and fought my own tears.

"I know, baby," I whispered back. "Go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning."

"Daddy? Mama's sad too, you know."

"I know. We all miss Eli," I explained. She took my hand and shook her head.

"No, Daddy. She misses you. She told me so."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and kissed Caroline's head again before stepping out of her bedroom. The lights had been turned off so I assumed that Leah had gone to bed. I slipped into our room and undressed quietly. I climbed into bed pulled her against me, my arm draped lazily across her waist and pressing my lips to her exposed shoulder.

It was a moment before she tugged my hand and pulled me closer while tangling her feet with mine.

"Goodnight, Teddy," she muttered and I smiled into the darkness.

"Goodnight," I replied and, for that brief moment, let myself believe that we were going to be fine.


	4. Chapter Three

**Stephenie owns.**

** ThatIsRiddik prereads and gives advice; k****illerlashes betas. **

**Both of them are good for my ego so I keep them around. :) **

**Thank you for reading! **

* * *

><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Three<p>

LPOV

"Why did I agree to this again?" I groaned and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Because you love me," Bella replied with a wide grin.

"I obviously need to rethink my feelings for you then," I joked and tossed her a banana from my fruit basket.

"You don't have anything better to do!" she cried, catching the banana and peeling it quickly.

I sighed and cast a wistful glance down the hall where my husband still slept, the lucky bastard. Bella, my sister for all intents and purposes, was training for an upcoming 5K. Me, being the nice little sister I was, agreed to help her. The only problem was that I fucking hated running with a passion. Specifically, the white-hot burning passion of a thousand fiery suns.

"Yes, sleep is overrated," I muttered.

"Please, I haven't slept since we brought Sami home." Bella bounced on her feet in the middle of my kitchen and I nodded in agreement.

Bella and I had grown up as sisters; our parents were married two years after my own father passed away. She and Edward's older brother Emmett graduated together and then went off to the University of Florida after graduation. No one was surprised when they came home engaged during Emmett's first semester of law school.

Edward and I were already married by then, of course: we'd had a quiet ceremony with just our immediate family and a baby on the way.

Emmett and Bella weren't so lucky in the baby department. Sami was adopted from Korea, just six weeks after we had Caroline and their little Andrew, a baby that they'd fostered since he was a week old, had just turned one.

"Jesus Christ, woman. It's five in the morning," Edward grumbled as he slipped into the kitchen. He patted Bella on top of the head and kissed my cheek before slouching his way to the coffee pot. "Where's your common decency?"

"Your brother stole it all," she quipped with an evil glint in her eye. Edward shuddered and Bella laughed. "What? I know all about you and my sister, why shouldn't you know about your brother and me?"

"Because, I don't _want_ to know," he replied as he scratched at his stubbly chin. "Leah doesn't tell you anything anyways, right babe?" He turned to me and I quickly shoved the rest of my banana in my mouth.

"We'll be back soon!" I called on my way to the front door. Bella cackled behind me and I could only imagine the look on Edward's face. Of course I told Bella everything, he had to know that.

"He's so cute when he's flustered," Bella giggled as we made our way down the block.

"I don't know how the two of you haven't killed each other yet," I muttered and started jogging.

"Well, that wouldn't be any fun, would it?" she laughed as she sprinted in front of me. I followed at a slower pace, enjoying the feel of the sidewalk beneath my feet and the familiar ache in my muscles. It was nice to actually _feel_ something…anything.

We ran for a good twenty minutes before Bella finally stopped at a small park where we sometimes took the kids and collapsed into the grass.

"I don't know if I'll be able to make it," she wheezed.

"You've got plenty of time to work on it," I told her. It was true; the run was still another three months away.

"Yeah, but with all these kids and that damn husband…" she trailed off teasingly and I swatted blindly at her.

"Shut it, you're so messed up," I managed a small chuckle.

"I know," she said as she rolled to her stomach and pulled up a clump of grass. "You doing okay?"

"Bella, if you say anything about Edward being seen the other night, I'll murder you right here," I muttered and threw my arm over my face.

"Please, Leah. I think I know Edward better than that. Besides, he knows the consequences if he were to ever do anything so completely stupid."

"Immediate death or castration by one or more of my family members?"

She nodded solemnly. "Exactly."

"Things are just…different now."

"I know, sweetie," Bella said softly as she reached over and took my hand. I let her lace our fingers together and we lay there in the grass until the sun started to rise.

"I miss him so much," I finally whispered as tears escaped from the corner of my eyes. Part of me wondered if I was talking about Eli or Edward…these days it was hard to tell. My sister didn't say anything; she just held my hand tighter and let me cry, but knowing she was there made all the difference in the world.

Because some days it felt like no one was there.

I got myself together a few moments later and we made our way back to my house in silence. Bella and I had long ago discovered that we didn't always need to talk about things. We were both so young when our parents got married that our familial bond was very strong, like we were actually born sisters. At my house, she hugged me tightly and slipped into her car without a word. I knew she would call or text me later, just to check in, and I was grateful for that.

Inside, I found Edward in the kitchen dressed in jeans and a polo: one side said _Cullen's Garage_ and the other side had his name embroidered on it. After Carlisle had died, Edward promised himself that he would do everything in his power to uphold the integrity and workmanship that his father had worked for all his life.

He did it, of course. His business thrived; people came from all over to have Edward and his guys help them. Edward was constantly going to trainings and had even taken a few business classes so he "knew what the hell was going on with the money", as he put it. He loved what he did; he loved owning something his father had built from the ground up, even if it wasn't medical school.

"How was your run?" he asked as I perched myself against the counter beside him.

"Ugh," was all I said. Edward laughed and slipped his arm around my waist before pulling me closer.

"Bella appreciates that you try," he said against my temple.

"She'd better," I muttered. Edward pressed his lips to my hair and tipped my face to his. He frowned when his eyes met mine, and I knew they were still red from my crying spell. His thumb rubbed over my cheek and I leaned into his touch.

My husband leaned down to kiss me, his lips meeting mine cautiously until I tugged him closer. I let my hands tangle in his hair as my body molded itself to his. His hands were tight on my waist and the counter pressed into the small of my back but I didn't care, all I wanted was to feel his body against mine.

"Leah…" he murmured my name and I sighed at the sound of it.

"Hmm?" I ran my hands down the front of his shirt until they rested at the top of his jeans.

"I'm going to be late," he whispered when I pressed my lips to his chin.

"You're the boss," I countered. He chuckled and took my face in his hands.

"I'll make it up to you," Edward said before kissing me gently.

"You'd better," I grumbled.

"Promise," he said before he kissed my nose and stepped away. "I laid Caroline's clothes out and made both of your lunches. I would have done breakfast, but I've called a meeting this morning…" He shrugged and I tried to not look surprised at the extra effort he'd put in. It had been so long since he'd done things so unconsciously that I couldn't help it.

"Thanks." I gave him a smile and quick peck on the cheek. "I need to shower before she wakes up."

"I'll call you at lunch," he called as I made my way down the hall. I smiled to myself at his words and wondered, though very briefly, if we'd reached a turning point…finally.

EPOV

"Do you think it's possible that having a daughter has actually raised my blood pressure?" Emmett asked as he shoved a handful of French fries in his mouth.

"No, man. I think the crap you keep eating is what raised your blood pressure, don't blame it on Sami. She's an innocent bystander," I explained with a laugh.

Emmett frowned. "It's killing me, dude. There's this boy at school–"

"Tucker?"

"Yes! That little bastard. Is he bothering Carrie, too?"

I shrugged. "Caroline can take care of herself. And so can Sami. And if not they can gang up on him…" _Like Leah and Bella._

"Just like our wives," he muttered as if he were reading my mind.

"Yeah, speaking of, can't you keep yours at home before the sun comes up?"

"Please, you know I have no control over her."

"Mmhm." I eyed him and he gave a non-committal nod as if to say _oh well._

"I've got to get back to work. I've got a conference call with a client in Florida that I am in no way prepared for."

"Good to see you haven't lost your work ethic," I joked. Emmett grinned and waved as he walked out of my office, leaving his trash from lunch all over my desk.

For the most part he was a great brother. He was always there when I needed him, including the most recent months after Eli's death. He and Bella helped us handle and pay for all the funeral arrangements and took care of Caroline when we needed them. Our family was supportive in more ways than one. Leah and I were lucky that way, we always had been.

Lately though, it felt like he was slipping away. Our friendship had become strained, and that was all on my shoulders. I'd felt myself slipping away from so many things, my family included. Sometimes their happiness was too much for me. Sometimes I wanted the world to stop turning for them like it had for me six months ago.

I sighed, and my eyes settled on his picture on my desk, that constant reminder of what I used to have. In the weeks following his death I'd slipped the picture in a desk drawer and shoved it under papers. His smiling face mocked me and I couldn't take it. I couldn't get away from it at home though; there was no escaping his memory.

I could hardly even look at my wife or daughter without seeing him. That was what hurt the most: the anger and resentment that I felt toward the two most important people to me.

Remembering our morning, I quickly pulled my phone out to call Leah. It went to voicemail so I left her a quick message.

"Hope you're having a good day. Love you. See you soon," I said quietly into the phone before hanging up and picking up Eli's picture. I traced his face with my finger: Leah's nose and lips, my eyes and unruly hair. He was perfect.

I set the picture back down and hoisted myself out of my chair to see if there was anything I could do in the actual garage. Invoices and part orders were too mundane to worry about; I needed something to immerse myself in, to touch and feel and take my mind off everything.

An old car sat in the corner of the shop and I felt my palms sweat as I made my way to it. It was my father's project, one that he had started just weeks before he'd been diagnosed with cancer. He'd worked on it until he was too weak to get out of bed and by that time I had already taken over the shop.

It was an old Mustang that desperately needed help. He'd bought it off a customer for a thousand dollars and swore he was going to get it running. I let my hand run over the faded red paint and smiled. Maybe Dad would get his dream car after all.

I worked tirelessly, pulling the engine apart and wondering how in the hell I was going to find the time to actually do what I wanted to do.

"Hey, Ed, we're heading to Newton's for a drink, you want to come?" Jared called from the front of the garage. I nodded, tossing down a stray part and following him out. A few minutes later I was sitting at a stool in Newton's surrounded by the guys who worked with me. Well, for me, actually, but I tried not to take a high-and-mighty attitude with them, since it was their skills that kept the garage afloat. The glass in front of me was empty for the second time– something strong that Jared claimed would "put hair on your chest". Well, I didn't really need that, but the burn of the liquor helped to dull some of the earlier pain I had been feeling.

"Hi," I heard from beside me. I turned slowly and met the eyes of a small, busty redhead. "Can I refill that glass for you?" she asked as she leaned against the bar and fluttered her eyelashes.

I studied her face for a moment: big blue eyes and freckles scattered across her nose. She was pretty, but the abundance of makeup made her look five years older than she probably was. I realized that was probably the reason for it, after all.

Leah didn't wear makeup. She didn't need it: she was perfect the way she was.

A throat cleared to my right and I looked over to see Jessica glaring at me as she set a glass of something pink in front of the girl. I thumbed my wedding band and resisted the urge to roll my eyes at Jess. The thought of this girl holding any of my interest was ludicrous.

There was no one else for me. Jessica's icy glare reminded me of that and of the fact that maybe I hadn't been the best husband lately.

"Oh, no thanks. I've got to get home to my wife, but thanks for the offer." I gave her a smile and nodded quickly at Jess as I made my way out of the bar and home to the two most important people in my life.

LPOV

"If you do laundry too, I think I'm going to have to keep you forever," I said with a quiet laugh as I walked up behind Edward doing dishes.

"That's the idea." He grinned and leaned back to kiss me as I wrapped my arms around him from behind. "Is she in bed?"

"Yep," I said and buried my face in his back. My hands ran over the front of his chest and I could feel his heart pounding beneath my palm. I couldn't lie, mine was pounding too.

"Good," he said quietly before turning around and pulling me against him roughly. "I think I've got some making up to do," he murmured as his soapy hands grabbed my ass.

"You do," I managed to say before kissing him hard and tangling my hands in his hair. It had been so long since he'd touched me this way, so long since I'd felt his body like this against mine. I thought I would implode by the time he pulled away and all he did was kiss me.

Edward swept my hair to the side and placed a hot, lingering kiss on my neck. One hand rested on my hip and the other ran up my side and over my breast, squeezing me tightly through my shirt. I arched into him, tugging at his hair and whimpering softly.

"Take me to bed," I commanded in a low voice. His eyes met mine and he smiled.

"Yes, ma'am," he laughed before slowly backing me out of the kitchen and leading me down the hall to our bedroom. I closed the door behind us and locked it just in case, and then I practically tackled Edward. He fell against the edge of the bed and I climbed into his lap and wrapped my arms tight around him.

"My beautiful girl," Edward whispered and brushed my hair from my face. "I love you."

I melted at his sweet words and pulled myself closer, though he only pushed me away to remove my shirt. I tugged his over his head and rested my hands on his chest, his heart was still pounding.

"I'm a little nervous," he admitted. I shook my head and pressed his hand over my heart.

"Me too," I said before nipping at his lips. He chuckled and rested his hand on the back of my neck, drawing me into a kiss. His tongue parted my lips and I gave a quiet moan as he deepened the kiss until I was clutching him to me and gasping for breath.

One kiss. He did that to me with one kiss. I needed so much more.

"I want you so much," Edward said softly as his lips skimmed my collarbone and his hands deftly removed my bra. We fell backwards onto the bed and my hair formed a curtain around us. His eyes searched mine for a long moment and I wondered if he were changing his mind. If maybe this wasn't something he really wanted to do. Maybe he was just feeling sorry for me, sorry for not trying harder these past few months.

Of course the look in his eyes as he gazed up at me pushed those thoughts away: love and lust and awe…all for me.

The very things I felt.

Edward rolled us smoothly and I sighed as his hands moved over my skin and then pulled off my jeans and panties. He rested his body over mine and the rough denim against my thighs made my squirm against him. My fingers trailed down his chest and to the waistband of his pants. He groaned as I popped the buttons open and slid my hand inside and wrapped my fingers around him. His hips bucked into my hand as I stroked him and his breath came in little gasps. I grinned and pulled my hand away.

"Fuck, you're a tease," he muttered, so I pushed him on to his back and yanked his pants off, and then settled myself over him.

"A tease, huh?" I asked, resting on his thighs and letting my fingers trail up his length.

"Yep." He nodded, closing his eyes and sighing softly.

"Hm," I hummed and crawled over him, resting my hands beside his head. He ran a hand through my hair, wrapping it up in his hand and pulling me down to him.

I gave a quiet gasp as he slipped a hand between my thighs, touching and teasing until I was panting quietly against his lips. Edward grinned, just the corner of his mouth turned up as his fingers slipped from me. I could feel him touching himself, his hand moving against my thigh as he guided himself to me. I sunk down, eliciting low moans from both of us as I did.

He leaned up on his elbows and licked his lips so I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on them. Edward whispered my name and fell back again. His hands ghosted over my breasts, thumbs raking over their tips, and then down my sides. I let him guide my movements as soft sighs fell from my lips.

It was hard to control the emotions that were coursing through me. We hadn't been together in so long that I almost wasn't sure how to react, how to feel or respond to him. Before I knew it, tears had formed in my eyes and started to fall. Edward was quick to sit up and pull me to him. He brushed them away and whispered his love before pressing his forehead against mine and slipping his hand between us. His thumb met my slick skin and I felt my body tighten at the contact.

"I can feel you," he groaned before capturing my lips with his. My hips rocked hurriedly and he met my rhythm perfectly. _We _were perfect.

I tangled my hands in his hair as the pleasure bloomed, igniting a fire in my belly that spread across my skin until I was crying out, panting against his cheek. Edward was quick to pull me closer, pushing himself deeper and coming with a quiet groan with his face buried in my neck.

With a sigh, I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder. He fingers trailed up my spine and his lips were soft and warm on my skin.

"I love you," I whispered for what felt like the first time in weeks. I felt him nod against my skin. Those words were not always the easiest for me to say, though even when we were angry, Edward always made sure I knew how he felt. He pulled away and took my face in his hands, before kissing me gently.

"Did I make up for this morning?" he asked with a small smirk.

"Oh…maybe?" I teased, grinding myself against him.

"I'll try harder next time," he laughed quietly and kissed my chin, then my neck before meeting my eyes again.

There was sadness in them that echoed my own, a pain that cut so deeply part of me wondered if we would ever recover. If we would ever be the same.

I hoped, as we untangled ourselves and settled in for sleep, that we would be. That one day we could become even a shadow of what we used to be, of what we used to have. I hoped one day we would be happy.


	5. Chapter Four

**Stephenie still owns them. **

**killerlashes and ThatIsRiddik beta and preread and are just super. :) **

**Thank you for reading! **

* * *

><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Four<p>

"_Dad? Can I help you?" Eli's voice echoed in our small garage. I rolled out from under Leah's car where I'd been changing the oil and smiled up at him. _

"_I'm almost done, buddy. Why don't you help your mom in the kitchen? She likes that," I suggested. _

"_Cooking is for girls." He frowned and settled himself on a runaway skateboard, resting his chin in his hand and looking utterly bored. _

_I laughed and mussed his hair. "All right, you can crank it to make sure I did it right." I tossed him the keys and he jumped to his feet. Apparently cranking a car was high on the list of exciting things for a seven-year-old._

_He climbed in the front seat and cranked the car, and then rolled down the window. _

"_How'd I do?" I asked, leaning against the door and sticking my head inside. _

_He grinned."Well, it sounds like it worked." I reached into the car and turned off the engine, then pulled him out the window. He laughed loudly as I threw him over my shoulder and carried him inside. _

"_What are you guys doing?" Leah laughed and kissed my cheek as I set Eli on his feet. _

"_I was just making sure Dad fixed your car the right way," my son joked. _

"_Yeah, he needs a little extra help," Leah agreed and gently touched Eli's face. He smiled as she did, his eyes only for her. "Go get your sister so we can have dinner," she told him. He nodded, leaving the kitchen with a smile. That's how he always was…happy. _

I woke up drenched in sweat and shaking. It had been so long since I'd dreamed about him, but it was all so real: his voice and his smile, how it sounded when he laughed. Everything about it made my heart ache.

"Teddy?" Leah's voice seemed too loud in the darkness. Her hand rested on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Go back to sleep," I murmured before kissing her head and slipping out of bed. I made my way to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of whatever juice I grabbed first in the refrigerator. Some pinkish-purple thing that Caroline liked– it was disgusting.

I drained the glass and stared absently around the kitchen, my thoughts still reeling from my dream. Part of me wondered if it meant anything, if seeing him in my mind was my brain's way of making sure I didn't forget him. As if I could forget him.

After a few minutes I dragged myself back to our bedroom where Leah was sitting in the middle of the bed waiting for me.

"I can't sleep without you," she whispered and held out her hand. I went to her slowly and let her pull me back under the covers with her. She rested her head on my chest, just over my heart and laughed softly.

"What's funny?" I asked, running my hand through her long hair.

"Just thinking about sleeping on your heart," she explained. I laughed with her held her closer, remembering Caroline's favorite sleeping position as a baby. She was colicky and nothing soothed her except sleeping on my chest. Sometimes now when she was sick it was the only thing that helped her sleep.

"He only wanted _you_ though," I said after a moment. "You hung the moon in his eyes." I wasn't about to disturb this fragile peace by saying his name aloud. That was a step neither of us had been able to take yet.

"It was a tie," she replied with a warm hand on the side of my face. I kissed her head and closed my eyes, hoping for a dreamless sleep.

LPOV

Waking up to an empty bed was always nerve-wracking. In light of recent events it had become even more so, however. Not having Edward by my side in the morning frightened me.

I sat up just in time to see him walk into the bedroom, already dressed for work.

"What are you doing?" I asked, running a hand through my knotted hair.

"Going to work," he answered before slipping into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"It's early." I frowned.

"I've got some orders to get done and this little side project I was working on…" He rested a knee on the bed and leaned down to kiss me. I let him, enjoying the warmth of his lips and the minty taste of toothpaste.

"Oh. I thought…okay." I flung the covers off and stood up. Edward's old t-shirt lifted up as I stretched.

"What's wrong?" he murmured as his hands slipped under the hem of my shirt.

"Nothing," I replied, letting my body press against his.

"You sure?"

"Yes." I smiled and kissed his cheek, desperate to bask in the afterglow of our night and not wanting him to realize how deep my fear of abandonment ran.

"I've got to run. Coffee's brewing, Mom said she'd pick Caroline and Sami up from school," he said before tapping my ass lightly.

I smiled as I watched him walk out of the bedroom, eager to start the day. Of course, that was short-lived once I woke up my bear of a five-year-old. She didn't stop growling until we met Bella and Sami in the parking lot of school.

"Rough morning?" Bella asked as we watched the girls run inside.

I shrugged. "I don't know how she's going to handle kindergarten. Thank God for late birthdays, I guess."

"Small miracles," Bella laughed.

"It's weird. Edward and I both loved school," I said as we made our way to our cars.

"Yeah, but you two are a different story," my sister teased. I shoved her gently, feeling lighter than I had in a few days. "You look good today."

I glanced down at my black dress pants and red blouse. It wasn't any different than what I wore any other day. I usually came home stained with some kind of paint or glue, anyways.

"I'm not– "

"Not your clothes, just you." She shrugged.

"Oh. Yeah…" I trailed off, feeling a blush creep up my neck. I met her gaze and she grinned evilly. She knew me _way_ too well. Sometimes it didn't matter that I was twenty-six and had been married for seven years. It was never comfortable when your older sister knew you had gotten laid the night before.

Bella laughed loudly and I turned my back on her.

"I'm going to be late for work!" I yelled as I stomped away.

"Have a good day!" she called from across the lot. I flipped her the bird as I got in my car.

As it turned out, my day actually didn't suck too much. It got exponentially better at lunch, too.

"Hey, Mrs. Cullen, is that your husband in the parking lot?" One of my seniors asked as he made his way to the cafeteria. I turned quickly, feeling my face light up as it did. Edward smiled and waved from his spot against his truck and I felt my heart flutter at his unexpected visit.

"_Is that Edward Cullen?" Angela looked toward the parking lot and stopped suddenly. I nearly ran into her. _

"_Huh. It is." I eyed him for a moment before continuing to the cafeteria. _

"_I think he wants you," she said, stopping me in my tracks again. _

"_What?" I turned to her and then back to Edward who was, in fact, beckoning me to join him. I bit my lip and shrugged at Angela before making my way across the parking lot to him. _

"_Took you long enough, Dishwater." He grinned. _

"_What are you doing here?" I frowned. _

"_I thought we could have lunch together." Edward shrugged and opened the door to his truck. I gave him a side-long glance before sliding in and over to the passenger side. _

"_I can't leave campus, I'll get in trouble," I told him. _

"_Since when are you afraid of getting into trouble?" he laughed as he climbed in and slammed the door. "Besides, I brought you lunch." _

"_You brought me lunch?" I asked. _

"_Don't act so surprised, Leah," he sighed as he handed me a little Styrofoam container. I opened it cautiously, recognizing the box from my mother's diner, and found my favorite sandwich nestled within the deli paper. _

"_How did you…?" I looked up and met his smiling green eyes, feeling my heart flip-flop as it did. No one had ever looked at me that way, especially not Edward. _

"_Your mom helped me out," Edward said sheepishly before pulling out two bottles of water and another little box for himself. _

_He chattered on while we ate and I couldn't help but wonder what brought on his impromptu lunch. Edward had been back in town for a couple of months. His father's cancer wasn't improving and Edward had been so busy at the shop that we hadn't seen much of each other. I'd been on a few dates with a boy from La Push, but that didn't go anywhere; my heart never seemed to be in it._

_I suddenly knew why. _

"_I should get back," I said abruptly. _

"_Already?" Edward checked his watch and looked down at my half-eaten sandwich. _

"_I'm sorry. I have a test next period and I need to look over my notes," I lied and scrambled out of the passenger side of his truck. _

"_Leah!" he yelled as I all but ran back to the building. I didn't turn around to look at him. I was too afraid of what I would find. Though, as it turned out, it wasn't the last lunch we had together in the parking lot. _

"Hi," I breathed when I finally reached him.

"I brought you lunch." He smiled and took my hand, then led me around the side of his truck.

"Did you bring– " I asked when he closed his own door.

"Sue's famous cherry pie? What do you think, I was born yesterday?" Edward teased and handed me a little box filled with my mother's most delicious dessert.

I took a cautious bite, moaning a little at the perfect mixture of tastes in my mouth. Edward raised an eyebrow at me.

"What?"

He shrugged. "Just thinking."

"About?" I prodded him with my foot, which he caught and slowly caressed little circles on my ankle.

"You." He smiled shyly, his eyes trained on mine.

"Edward, are you trying to seduce me in your car? I'm not seventeen anymore, you know," I teased him and set my pie on the dashboard so I could move closer to him.

"Please," he laughed. "Like you were easy to seduce back then?"

I laughed and rested my head on his shoulder. "It was worth the wait."

"Totally," Edward agreed, kissing my forehead and pulling my knees into his lap. "How much time do you have left?"

I checked the clock on his dashboard and turned my face to his. "About fifteen more minutes, why?"

"You want to make out?"

I laughed before nodding and pulling his face to mine. Sometimes he was too good to be true.

A few hours later I was walking into my mother-in-law's bakery, greeted by the sound of giggling little girls.

"Hey, Mama!" Caroline jumped down from her stool behind the counter and ran to me. She flung her little arms around me, showering my black pants with flour. "Oops!" she frowned and wiped her hands on her bright purple apron with an embroidered 'C' on the front. Esme had ordered them for both of the girls in hopes that they would love cooking and baking as much as she did. So far it was working. Then again, if they were anything like I'd been as a little girl, it was probably _eating_ the cookies they'd baked that kept them coming back.

"Hello, sweetheart," Esme greeted me before ushering the girls off to wash their hands. She kissed my cheek and I laughed as I reached out and wiped a smudge of flour off hers. "I'm a mess, I know. I've got a Sweet 16 party to get ready for. Two hundred cupcakes and a triple-layer cake!"

"Why didn't you say something to Edward? I could have picked the girls up, or had my mom do it." I frowned and followed her into the kitchen.

"Oh, no. You know I love my day with them," she insisted as she helped Sami off with her pink apron.

"Hi, Aunt Lee." She grinned up at me. I smiled and brushed her flour-dusted black hair away from her face.

"Tell Nanny goodbye, girls," I instructed. They hugged and kissed their grandmother before fleeing to the front of the store.

"I'll see you on Sunday night, right? I think Alice and her boyfriend are coming over, too."

"We'll be there," I assured her. Sunday dinners were sacred, of course. "You want me to bring anything?"

"Just my handsome son." She smiled and I laughed.

"I'm sure I can handle that," I told her before hugging her once more.

"Good. See you then," Esme called as she waved me out of the kitchen. I took the girls for ice cream and then to the little park where Bella and I had collapsed after our run the other day. Emmett met me a little while later, with a screaming Andrew in the backseat. He pulled the baby out and thrust him into my arms before running off to join the girls on the merry-go-round. I laughed, watching my oversized brother-in-law yelling at two five-year-olds to spin him faster. Andrew sniffled and buried his face in my neck. I smiled and let my thoughts about babies run away for a moment.

"Oh, good. He's been crying since I picked him up from the sitter," Emmett said as he stumbled back to me.

"Well, you're a big scary guy. Sometimes they just need a mama," I teased him. Emmett rolled his eyes and took his son from me. I called for the girls and we parted ways without any other exchange. Emmett and I had always had that type of relationship, though. Whereas Bella and Edward were dead set on annoying the crap out of each other, Em and I were very no-nonsense and to the point– it was most likely the reason we ended up with our respective spouses.

At home, Caroline and I cooked dinner and waited for Edward to come home. By seven, he hadn't shown up.

"I'm hungry," she whined from her spot at the kitchen table.

"Okay. Go wash up," I said as I pulled out my forgotten cell phone, sighing with relief when I saw I'd missed a text from Edward.

_Running late. Be home soon. X_

When Edward finally arrived home, Caroline and I were both asleep on the couch. I woke up as he lifted her from my side and carried her to her bed. He returned quickly and collapsed on the couch next to me.

"Where've you been?" I frowned, moving closer to him and rested my hand on the back of his neck. He rubbed his hands, stained with grease over his face and sighed.

"Jared totally fucked up on this transmission he was supposed to fix. I had to have him run to Port Angeles to get the part and then I fixed it myself," he explained. I reached over and wiped a smudge of something off his face. He was just like his mother, so involved in their work that they don't even notice anything else.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Not your fault, babe." He patted my leg gently. "I'm sorry I missed dinner." He didn't say it, but I knew what he meant. He was sorry that he'd worried me. Sorry that I thought he might not come home again.

"It's fine," I reassured him. "You shower, I'll warm you something up."

"Shower? Do I need a shower?" He grinned as he pulled me against him.

"Yes." I wrinkled my nose and pushed myself away.

"Oh, no you don't!" he cried and pushed me against he couch. I breathed him in and wrapped my arms around his neck. The warmth of his body seemed to seep into me as his lips gently brushed against mine.

I laughed, though the sound felt foreign to me. I tried not to think about it, though, as his lips moved to my neck. I simply let myself get lost in him– in us.


	6. Chapter Five

**SM owns these kids. **

**ThatIsRiddik prereads and says pretty things. **

**Thanks to killerlashes for getting this ready before I flee for a few days. ;) **

**Thank YOU for reading! **

All the King's Horses – Chapter Five

LPOV

"Say it!"

"No!"

"Say it!" Emmett yelled again.

"No!" Caroline shrieked, giggling, and kicked her little feet in a desperate attempt to escape.

He sighed. "Why won't you tell me I'm your favorite uncle?"

"Because it wouldn't be fair to my Uncle Seth. It would be shell-fish of you to think that," Caroline said matter-of-factly.

"How'd you get so smart?" Emmett eyed her and finally released her from her entrapment on the couch where he'd been tickling her relentlessly.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I was just borned that way." She slipped off the couch and ran into the kitchen.

"You're still my favorite Daddy," Sami said with a gentle pat on her dad's shoulder before following her cousin.

"Tough break, Em," I teased, and mussed his hair.

He waved my hand off and grinned lazily. "No worries, Lee. I'll buy her something sparkly for her birthday, it'll be fine."

"You do that," I laughed, not bothering to remind him that it was _his_ daughter who liked sparkly things. _Mine_ liked dirt. "Have you seen my husband?"

"Out back with Jasper," he replied with a nod toward the back door of Esme's home. I slipped through the living room and found Edward talking animatedly with his sister Alice's boyfriend. He smiled when he saw me – the kind of smile that turned your insides to mush, even if it was something you saw every day.

"Fancy meeting you here." Edward grinned and held his arm out to me. I let him fold me into his embrace and kiss me, a little too intensely for a family gathering, in front of his sister's boyfriend.

"Are you drunk?" I asked when I pulled away.

His grin faltered a little and he looked over at Jasper, who was trying, and failing, to avoid my gaze.

"I, uh…I may be at fault here…" he stuttered and tipped his own glass toward me.

"Just behave." I rolled my eyes. "_Both _of you," I said with a threatening poke to my husband's chest.

"Will you punish me later if I don't?" Edward asked with a pinch to my ass.

"Oh, very much so." I tossed a smirk over my shoulder and sauntered away, as sexily as I could.

"There you are!" Alice cried once I reached the kitchen. I pulled her petite body into a hug and accepted the glass of wine Esme handed over to me.

"Here I am. Your boyfriend brought moonshine, by the way," I informed Alice.

"Dammit! I'm going to kill him!" she yelled, causing both Sami and Caroline to look up at her with wide eyes.

"Well, don't do anything drastic. But if my husband pukes, _you _can clean it up," I said with a laugh. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of puke, and then stomped outside to stop any further shenanigans.

Esme watched her, a frown marring her lovely face.

"What's wrong?" I reached out and squeezed her hand.

"I'm not sure yet…" she muttered, her eyes still on the door Alice had exited.

"Let's eat, people!" Emmett yelled from the dining room. Bella rolled her eyes at her husband's loudness and ushered the girls into the dining room. Esme followed and I waited while the others traipsed inside. Alice tugged a hangdog-looking Jasper through the door, her mouth set in a thin line, and Edward stepped in after them, grinning.

"Man, she's got a mouth like a sailor," he said once they were out of earshot. He poured the contents of his glass into the sink and turned to me.

"Well, growing up with you and Em, it's no wonder," I joked. He hummed in response and pulled me into his arms again.

"Where've you been today?" Edward asked with his lips to my ear. "You and Carrie were gone before I got up."

"I dropped her off with Bella and I…went for a drive." I shrugged.

"To anywhere in particular?" he asked, as he brushed a stray hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"No," I answered to his Adam's apple.

"Okay," he replied before kissing my forehead gently.

It was true: I hadn't planned on going anywhere when I'd gotten up that morning. Of course, where I ended up was the same place I'd always ended up on days like that.

With Eli.

"C'mon, they're going to start without us." I pulled him into the dining room where we took our seats on either side of Caroline. Esme said the blessing and we ate and chatted quietly. Alice and Jasper updated us on their life in Seattle and the girls kept us entertained with their stories from school. Edward and Emmett both tensed at the mention of Tucker and how "cute" he was. I raised an eyebrow in Edward's direction, but he only smiled and shook his head.

"It's only the beginning," he muttered with a nod to our daughter. I smiled in agreement and smoothed her hair.

A little while later we were gathered in the living room. Emmett was sprawled on the floor with the girls while Bella washed dishes. Alice and Jasper were whispering quietly, Esme's ever-watchful eyes on them. Edward and I were stuffed onto the loveseat with Andrew chattering happily between us.

"What in heaven's name is going on with the two of you?" Esme finally cried as she stood up and stuck her hands on her hips, glaring at her daughter.

Alice's dark eyes went wide as she stood up and faced her mother. Jasper followed, his hands rested protectively on her shoulders.

"I…we…" she trailed off and glanced at him for support. Edward made a noise in his throat and a knowing look crossed his face. I inhaled sharply as I finally got it.

"We're getting married!" Jasper finally said with a huge grin.

"Oh!" Esme pulled them both into her arms and soon we were all embracing and congratulating and smiling. "Champagne! I think I have a bottle somewhere, we should celebrate!"

"No, Mom. That's okay," Alice grabbed her mother's hand before she could leave. "I don't…"

"You're pregnant!" Bella cried from beside me. Alice opened her mouth to speak, but closed it quickly. Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded. I watched Esme fold her daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law into her embrace and I reached my hand back, knowing I would find Edward. He slipped his hand into mine and squeezed my fingers lightly.

I was angry at myself for not being more excited for them. Part of me wanted to hug and cry and be happy with her but the other part, the ugly green-eyed monster part, was… jealous.

Biting back my tears, I went to Alice and hugged her tightly. She smiled up at me, though it was tinged with worry, so I whispered my congratulations and kissed her cheek. Edward smiled as he lifted her off her feet, though it didn't meet his eyes. Of course, no one but me would have noticed.

"Aunt Alice? How did the baby get in your belly?" Caroline looked up at her with curious eyes.

"Um, what?" Jasper coughed and Emmett thumped him hard on the back.

"The baby. How did you put it in Aunt Alice's belly?" She turned to him and the corners of Edward's mouth quirked up.

"Shouldn't you ask your mom and dad that?"

"Oh, no. I already know how I got into my Mama's belly. My Daddy told me a long time ago," she said matter-of-factly.

Alice smiled and bent down to Caroline's level, having heard the story before.

"How does that story go?" Alice asked.

"Well, Daddy loved Mama so much that he reached up and pulled a star from the sky, her very favorite one. Then, he put it in her belly and it turned into me," Caroline said with a huge grin.

Jasper dropped his rigid stance, relieved that he didn't have to explain where babies really came from to my five-year-old. As if I would let him, anyways.

"What about Eli?" Jasper asked curiously.

My sharp intake of breath was probably only heard by Edward. He slipped an arm around my waist and held me close enough to feel the warmth of his body.

Caroline looked up at us, unsure if she should proceed. I could see Edward nod from the corner of my eye.

"Mama's favorite seashell. From the bottom of the ocean," she answered.

"My mommy and daddy got _me_ from a plane!" Sami chimed in.

"Yep, Sam," Emmett nodded while Bella looked fondly on. "You were so special, we had to go all the way across the world to get you 'cause they didn't have any kids like you here."

Esme eventually _did _found a bottle of champagne and we toasted Alice and Jasper's good news. I could see it in Edward's face and feel it in my own heart. A twinge of pain was etched on his face; it was following us around like a black cloud.

I watched as relief passed over his features at Caroline's slight yawn, and before I knew it he had scooped her up and we were telling everyone goodbye.

Our ride back was quiet. Caroline had fallen asleep and Edward and I were both lost in our thoughts.

"You ready for bed?" Edward's voice startled me in the silence of the kitchen. He'd put Caroline to bed and changed out of his work clothes. I frowned at the tea I'd been steeping and shook my head.

"I think she'll be a good mom, don't you?" I asked my cup. I heard Edward shuffle across the kitchen until he was right next to me.

"She'll be great. The kid will be totally crazy, but it'll be awesome," he said will a slight chuckle. "Come to bed."

"I will. After my tea." I patted his cheek and turned away.

Edward sighed and kissed my hair before leaving me alone again.

I tried to will away my jealousy, to make the happiness magically appear in my heart and mind, but nothing worked. I wanted nothing more than to be able to smile and laugh with our family, not feel like a weight had been pressed on my chest at their good news. With a sigh, I dumped my tea in the sink and trudged off to my bedroom. I was sick with myself for my feelings toward my sister-in-law, embarrassed that I hadn't been more supportive when she'd told us.

But the truth was, it was hard to be happy at their bringing a life into the world when I'd had one ripped away from _me_.

Somehow I managed to keep my tears at bay while I changed and readied myself for bed. When I opened the bathroom door and met those warm green eyes there was no chance of keeping them contained anymore.

Edward wrapped me in his arms as a sob tore through my chest. I clutched at his t-shirt, desperate to bring him closer and to feel something other than the pain and resentment that had plagued me all night.

He pulled me into our bed and tucked the covers over us, before wrapping his arms tight around me once more.

We didn't talk. There was no need. We just held each other in the dark and let ourselves mourn for what we didn't have anymore.


	7. Chapter Six

**SM owns these kids. **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes take good care of me. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Six<p>

"Rise and shine," Edward whispered before pressing his lips to my forehead, then my lips. He tasted like coffee, warm and sweet against my mouth.

"That's a nice way to be woken up," I mumbled with a smile.

"Good to know I still got it," he chuckled and kissed me again. "Coffee's there for you. Get dressed. We're taking a mental-health day, all three of us."

I opened one eye and peeked up at him, then at the alarm clock.

"You turned off the alarm? I'm going to be late!" I cried as I threw off the covers and scrambled into the bathroom.

"Relax, I called you in. Then I called _me_ in," Edward said as he pulled a t-shirt on. I frowned and made my way back to my side of the bed. I sat and took my coffee off the bedside table and sipped it while my husband tugged clothes out of my dresser.

"Shorts?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's fairly warm. Mid-seventies, I think. " He grinned. "Come on, breakfast is ready. We were just waiting for you." Edward slipped out of the bedroom and I quickly dressed in the shirt and shorts he'd tossed onto the bed. I carried my coffee into the kitchen where Caroline quickly greeted me with a hug and a smile.

"Hi, Mama," she said as she grinned widely up at me. I brushed a stray curl away from her face and smiled down at her.

"Come eat, Sweet," Edward directed as he scooped scrambled eggs onto her plate.

"You made a rhyme, Daddy!" Caroline smiled and settled herself at the breakfast table.

"I did. You're so smart." He kissed the top of her head and made my plate for me, then sat down across from our daughter.

"So, where're we going?" I asked after a moment.

"Daddy says it's a surprise." Caroline shrugged. I narrowed my eyes at Edward and he laughed quietly.

"Well, Mama doesn't like surprises, so you should tell me," I tried to convince her.

"Sorry, Mama. I pinky promised. And Daddy gave me five dollars."

"Five dollars, huh? How about I give you ten?" I leaned across the table and waggled my eyebrows at her. She giggled and glanced toward Edward.

"Leah!" Edward chastised as he cleared our plates. "Just be patient."

I sighed dramatically and rested my chin in my hands, trying my best to look sad. Caroline looked pleadingly up at Edward, who simply shook his head.

"Go brush your teeth and we can leave. I don't want your mom to explode from excitement." He ushered her out of the kitchen and turned to glare at me. "Bribery? Really?"

"Hello? Pot? This is Kettle calling," I laughed, and quickly went to him across the kitchen, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. "Thank you."

"What for?" he asked, trying to capture my lips with his again.

I shrugged. "For last night. For whatever today is."

"You needed it. Hell, I needed it. And you aren't supposed to thank me, I'm your husband. It's what I do," he said with a soft smile.

"Fine," I sighed and slipped my hands in the front pockets of his shorts. "I'll just find some other way to say it…or do it."

He groaned low in the back of his throat and I pulled my hands away.

"I'm ready!" Caroline announced herself and I stepped away from Edward, enjoying the frustrated look on his face.

"Lead the way," I said as I gestured in front of me. He rolled his eyes and grabbed a bag off the kitchen counter, then led us out the front door.

It didn't take me long to discover where we were going. There really weren't that many places _to_ go. As soon as we were on the highway headed to La Push I was sure, though. When we were younger, as soon as it was warm enough Edward was at the beach. I smiled and took Edward's hand in mine.

Caroline kept us entertained with her stories about school or singing loudly to every song we heard on the radio. I wasn't sure how she knew some of them and Edward simply laughed so I let the issue go.

We parked at the beach and quickly piled out into the dirt parking lot. As soon as Caroline was out of the car she shed her shoes and took off toward the water, giggling uncontrollably.

"Hey!" Edward yelled as he slipped off his own shoes and followed her. He caught her, just as she launched herself into the waves, a born mermaid, and lifted her into the air.

"Daddy!" she chastised him and tried to push herself away.

"It's too cold, Sweet. _And _not safe," he explained with a quick kiss to her nose. She sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck. I smiled and quickly made my way to them, carrying the bag Edward had packed. I pulled out the beach blanket and spread it out, then settled myself on it to watch the two of them together.

The two of them laughed as they ran in and out of the waves. Edward pretended the water was chasing him and Caroline cheered when he managed to outrun it. He would lift her into his arms and kiss her before throwing her up into the air. And I watched. I watched and felt my heart swell because it had become so easy to forget what I still had. I laid back and closed my eyes, letting the sun warm my skin and Edward and Caroline's voices fill my head.

I felt more than heard Edward as he lowered himself onto the blanket beside me. He smelled like the sun, water, and our daughter. It was an odd combination, but it made me smile. With a soft sigh, he rested his head next to mine, chin on my shoulder and an arm draped lazily over my waist.

I reached up, my fingers coming in contact with the silky hair over his ear. He hummed and I turned my face to his, eyes still closed, mouth searching. Edward kissed me then, his lips moving slowly with mine. No rush, like we had all the time in the world.

Our eyes met, and the corners of his crinkled with his smile while a memory rushed through me.

"_Are you going to college in the fall?" I asked Sam as he refilled my plastic cup with something I knew would be kicking my ass later. _

"_Nah." He shrugged and took a long drag from a Marlboro I'd watched him dig out of his pocket. I frowned at him. "I'll probably start my own landscaping business or something like that. I wanna make my own hours, you know? Can't do that going to school." _

_I nodded like I understood and tried to remember why I'd agreed to come out with him. We were on First Beach at a bonfire. It was common knowledge that First Beach was "the spot" to be on the weekends- even kids from Forks knew that. Which was why I wasn't surprised to see Mike and Jessica, Lauren and…Edward. Edward and Mike had graduated together the year before. Mike never went anywhere without Jessica, but Lauren was in my class and was…well-known, in a manner of speaking. _

"_So, what are you going to do?" Sam's voice snapped me back to reality and I turned to him, remember why I was there. He was tall and handsome and generally interested in me, though I couldn't quite figure out why I wasn't very interested in him. Well, I hadn't really thought about it too much until Edward showed up at school the previous week. _

_Now I didn't know _what_ to think. _

"_I've been taking some classes in Port Angeles already. I'm studying art," I explained, letting my eyes travel to the bonfire again where I'd last seen Edward. _

"_Oh, you're one of those types, huh?" Sam grinned. I sipped my drink and shrugged. _

"_I like to draw," I told him. _

"_Maybe you can draw me one day," he teased. I laughed, though it was forced. _

_I'd only ever drawn one person before: Edward. _

_Sam slipped his arm around my waist and I become very conscious of the fact that I was only in a bikini top and jean shorts. It was hot and we were at the beach; that was basically the uniform for these kinds of nights. He pulled me close against his side and tilted my face to his with his other hand, and then– _

"_Hey, Leah." I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. "Can I talk to you?" _

"_Crappy timing, Cullen," Sam seethed and pulled his arm from around me. _

"_Sorry," Edward said, with his eyes on my face. He didn't look sorry at all._

"_I'll find you later, Sam," I told him with a gentle pat to his arm. I gestured for Edward to lead us away from the fire. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts as he did. We made it to the edge of the water, a little ways away from the rest of the party. The people were just shadows now, no faces recognizable. _

"_Are you cold?" Edward asked as I wrapped my arms around myself. We had walked too far away from the fire and I was suddenly regretting my skimpy clothing. _

"_A little," I admitted. _

"_Well, you're half-naked, of course you're cold." He narrowed his eyes at me and I resisted the urge to laugh. Edward of all people, telling me what to do! _

"_I thought you wanted to talk." I turned away from him and strode further down the beach. _

"_I do!" he called after me. "Here." Edward thrust something in my hand and it took me a moment to realize it was his t-shirt. He stood next to me in a white undershirt that stretched deliciously across his chest. _

"_Thanks," I muttered and slipped the shirt on. It smelled faintly like laundry detergent and some sort of cologne. _

"_I'm sorry about last week," Edward blurted out as we walked. _

"_What about it?" I wrapped my arms around myself again. _

"_I shouldn't have just shown up like that, I guess." _

"_Oh. It's fine," I muttered. _

"_No, it freaked you out and I'm sorry." He caught my elbow and turned me toward him. _

"_It didn't…" I trailed off and tried to tear myself from his gaze. "I can't do this right now, Edward." _

"_Then when are we going to do it, Leah?" his grip tightened on my elbow and he took a step toward me. _

"_I just– I don't even know what it is you want to talk about." I finally managed to tear my arm away and watched as he stuck his hands in his pockets again. _

"_You. Me. Specifically– us," Edward replied with a hint of a smile. I had to look away from his earnest green eyes. _

"_Us?" I practically squeaked. "What about us? There's an us?" _

"_There's just…something, Leah. You have to feel it. It's always been there," he whispered so softly I could hardly hear him over the waves behind us. _

"_Teddy, please," I whispered back and closed my eyes. _

"_See? That right there. You're the only one that calls me Teddy." _

"_I only do it to annoy you," I teased weakly. _

"_I know." He grinned. "If anyone else were to do it I'd knock them on their ass." _

"_A nickname doesn't mean anything, _Edward_." I accentuated his name and he rolled his eyes._

"_Fine, then. Tell me about landscapes." _

_I froze. "What are you talking about?" _

"_Landscapes? Really?" Edward raised an eyebrow at me and I could feel my face heat up. _

"_How do you know about that?" I managed to ask. _

_Edward shrugged. "It's not important." _

"_Edward!" I shoved him and he laughed lightly. _

"_Your sister told me," he admitted. _

"_Shit," I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "Shit, this is so embarrassing."_

"_It's not," Edward said softly as he pried my hands away from my face. "If I could draw or write or sing or anything like that…it would all be about you." _

"_Shut up." _

"_No." His face was close to mine, I could feel his breath on my skin. I watched as his tongue darted out and wet his lips, the very ones that I'd dreamed about kissing for years. _

_No, there wasn't _something_ between us. There was _everything_ between us. Everything that was known and unknown. There were things that we were both too afraid to find, but too stupid to care about at the moment. And he knew it, too. _

"_Kiss me. Kiss me and tell me it doesn't mean anything and I'll drop it. I'll never mention it to you again," he said as he dropped my hands and cupped my face, his fingertips gently moving into the hair at the back of my neck. _

_Edward didn't give me a chance to respond. Before I knew it his lips were pressed to mine, soft and warm, tinged with alcohol and salt from the air. I gasped a little when his hand wrapped around the back of my neck and his tongue parted my lips. The heat of his body pressed against mine and something inside me broke and I _knew_ I'd never kiss anyone else. _

"_Tell me," Edward said as he pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine. _

"_I– I…" _

"_Tell me, Leah," he said a little louder and I slipped my arms around his waist. _

"_I can't," I replied as I buried my face in his chest. _

"_Oh, thank God," Edward sighed with relief and I laughed softly. He kissed the top of my head and tightened his arms around me. "You had me going there for a minute, Dishwater." _

_I rested my chin on his chest and stared up at him, smiling. It felt good to be there with him, though I had no idea what it meant just yet. I shifted my head so my cheek was pressed against his chest and I could feel his heartbeat. We stayed like that for a long moment, neither of us talking. His arms were tight around me and his chin rested on top of my head. _

"_Want to go back to the party?" Edward said after a moment as he jerked his head in the direction we'd come from. I shook my head and leaned up to kiss him again, because it had suddenly become my favorite thing to do. _

"_I'm pretty happy right here." I shrugged and he grinned. _

"_Yeah, me too." _

"Are you snuggling without me?" Caroline cried from the foot of the blanket. Edward laughed and shifted away from me to let her lay between us.

"Sorry," I whispered and kissed her head once she'd situated herself.

I lifted myself up as Edward slipped his arm under my head and pulled us closer to him. It was another one of those perfect moments: the kind that we'd committed to memory, vivid as home videos, but had forgotten because it hurt too much to think about it. About _him_.

This new moment was different, though. It wasn't plagued with the memory of what we'd lost, or sadness for what we couldn't have again. For the first time in a long while, it was exactly the opposite.


	8. Chapter Seven

**SM owns 'em. **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes make everything in my life better. **

**Thank you all so much for reading. :) **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Seven<p>

LPOV

"Do you think roses or lilies? I can't decide. I like them both, but I'm not sure which would go best in May. What do you think?" Alice looked at me from over her bridal magazine, and I chewed my lip. I hadn't actually been paying attention and wasn't quite sure how to answer her.

"Um…you know, whichever you like best, I guess." I shrugged. Bella snorted quietly beside me and I aimed a kick at her under the table.

"Well, what did you and Edward have at your wedding?"

"You were there, don't you remember?" I eyed her for a moment until she smiled.

"Yeah, but I like to hear about it."

"Please, we got married in the courthouse and your brother robbed poor Mrs. Cope's garden of her daisies right before," I said with a laugh.

"He's such an idiot," Bella threw out. I glared at her.

"At least he didn't insist on wearing a _white _tux!"

"_Your_ husband wore jeans!"

"So did you!" I argued.

Then we laughed, because that's what we did. We didn't fight- we just teased each other endlessly until there was nothing left to do but laugh about it.

"It was perfect for the two of you," Esme said as she entered the dining room with a bottle of wine and three glasses. "Just like Emmett and Bella's wedding was perfect for them. And yours will be lovely too, sweetheart," she told Alice as she poured three glasses of wine. Alice reached for one and pouted when Bella slapped her hand away.

"None for you, preggo," she teased.

"I know it will be perfect," Alice sighed and flipped through her magazine again. I watched her, remembering what it was like to be in her position.

Edward and I hadn't cared about a fancy wedding or a big party. All we wanted was each other and our baby. Our _son_.

"Excuse me," I muttered and made my way to the kitchen quickly. I leaned against the counter and took a deep breath to steady myself.

It was Saturday, and just over a month had passed since Alice had broken her news to the family. Edward and I had taken a little break from family dinners for the first couple of weeks, but soon realized that we missed everyone too much to ostracize ourselves. Plus, it wasn't fair to Caroline to be away from the family.

The time away had been good for Edward and me, though. Things had been going well since our beach day. We'd been spending more time together, just the three of us. Edward wasn't working as late as much and we both set our weekends aside for our own family time.

Most of all, we started make more time for each other. There were lunches and dinners, special notes and emails…not to mention things in the bedroom.

Waking up to my husband's hands and mouth moving over me, having him settle between my legs before the sun came up…

"Sweetie? Are you okay?" Esme asked from behind me.

"I'm fine." I gave her a weak smile and rubbed my neck. "Thinking about weddings makes me think-"

"I know." She gave me a soft smile and pulled me into her arms. "It's amazing how the happy times remind us of them, isn't it?"

I nodded against her shoulder and breathed her in. She always smelled like cookies.

"So many times I wish Carlisle had been here, so many things I wish he could have seen." Esme stroked my hair and held her tighter. "He would have loved to see you all of you married, to meet his grandchildren…" She trailed off and I pulled back to look at her. Her big hazel eyes were misty but she was smiling.

"I need to go. Tell Alice I'm sorry," I whispered. She nodded and kissed my cheek before leaving me alone in the kitchen.

I left through the back door, and was in my car and driving before I really knew where I was going. Then I was there, in the driveway of that familiar house that I'd known for almost all of my life.

"_Mommy? Are we going to live here forever?" I asked, staring up at my mother. _

"_Well, forever is a long time, you know." She'd smiled and taken my hand in hers, then Seth's in the other. "I think you'll like it here though." _

_I looked up at the porch and saw them waiting for us. A tall man with dark hair who had been my father's best friend and a little girl who was mine. _

_They smiled at us and my fears dissolved. For the first time since my father died I felt happy. _

"I almost forgot what you looked like, Sweetpea," Charlie greeted me. I smiled and went to him quickly. Charlie was like Bella, a "for all intents and purposes" kind of family member. I hardly remembered my own father, though what I did remember I did so fondly. But Charlie was my "dad". He was the one who'd read me stories, and who'd taken care of me when I was sick. He came to little league games and art shows and patted my back when boys made me cry and did everything else that dads were supposed to do.

"Sorry about that," I replied. He laughed and kissed my head.

"No worries. Mom's in the kitchen, I'm off to work."

"They haven't forced you into retirement yet, old man?"

"Keep laughing, Leah." He waved his hand as he made his way out the front door. I smiled after him and then went to find my mother. She was standing at the stove with her back to me, her long hair pulled back into a loose braid. I could hear her humming while she stirred a big pot and see her foot tapping along to her song.

"What's cooking?" I asked. She turned and smiled, her dark eyes crinkling at the corners as she did.

"A new soup. Want to try it?"

I nodded and stepped forward, taking the spoon from her hand and slipping it into my mouth. It was delicious, as usual. Shortly after marrying Charlie, Mom had found she had a knack for cooking _and_ business. She opened her café after Seth started school.

"It's good, what's in it?"

"You know I can't tell you that," she laughed and patted my cheek.

"I tried," I said with a sigh.

"It was a valiant effort. How are you today, baby?"

I shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table. Mom was quick to make tea and set it in front of me, silent the whole time. She always let me work up the courage to talk to her. It was one of my favorite things about her.

"Here." She set the cup in front of me and I sipped it, and then coughed loudly. "Oh, I added a little whisky in it. You looked like you needed it."

"Mom!" I laughed.

"What? Your great-grandmother Clearwater swore by a little whisky in her tea. Cured all her ailments." Mom winked at me.

"Didn't she die of liver disease?"

"Something like that," Mom chuckled. "Where are your other parts?"

"Having a date in Port Angeles." I smiled and sipped my tea, though cautiously this time.

"Good. That will be good for them."

"We thought so, too."

"You miss them," she stated and touched my hand gently.

"It's silly, right? They're right down the road and all I can think about is how much I want them back here with me." I looked down at my cup, frowning.

"It's normal. It's _healthy_."

"That's good to hear, because sometimes I feel anything but normal," I said quietly.

"Honey…"

"It's true, Mom. All this stuff with Alice is killing me. I should be happy for her! I've known her almost all her life and she's getting married and having a baby and I feel nothing but…but anger!" Tears stung my eyes as I finally let go of what I'd been keeping in for the better part of a month. I hadn't even spoken it to Edward– I didn't need to- but I did need to get it out of my system before it ate away at what happiness I _did_ feel for my sister-in-law.

"Anger against who, sweetie?"

"Myself, mostly. I love Alice, and it hurts that I can't be happy for her," I explained.

"What does Edward say?" she asked softly.

"We don't talk about it. We both pretend for her sake." Admitting it felt good, but it didn't change anything.

"After your father died, anytime I saw a wedding or heard someone was having a baby…I found myself in a corner in my room– a dark one. I would just sit there and wallow. I'd think about all I had and how it had all been ripped away. I didn't want to live anymore."

I frowned. "I don't remember that."

"Of course not, you and Seth were so young and impressionable. It mostly happened when you were asleep or off with friends. I'd make it all day and then collapse in our room, drowning in my own pity."

"Mom…"

"It's okay to grieve, Leah," she whispered and squeezed my hand.

"Then why does it feel so wrong?" I whispered back.

"Because you want to be happy for Alice. You love her."

I nodded. "I just think about _him_-"

"Say his name," Mom interrupted.

"What?"

"Eli. Say his name."

"I- I can't."

"Then you won't be able to heal," she said as she stood and paced the kitchen. "If you can't talk about your son, then you won't be able to get through this."

"Get through this? He's _dead_, Mom. How do I get through that?" I slammed my hand on the table and stood up. She turned to me slowly, her eyes sad.

"I know it hurts, honey. But you've got so much to live for. So much to love still," she told me softly and her eyes wandered to the refrigerator. I followed her gaze and my eyes settled on his– on Eli's face…and then Caroline's next to it.

Beautiful, perfect, _alive_ Caroline. We'd been living halfway for the past seven months, and Caroline didn't deserve that.

"I should go." I crossed the kitchen swiftly, but my mother caught my arm and pulled me close.

"I'm sorry I didn't help."

"No, Mom. You did. Thank you," I said as I held her tightly. "I've just got some things to do."

"I love you, Leah," she said as she released me. Her eyes were worried as she searched my face.

"I love you, too. I'll be fine," I promised her.

I went home after that and busied myself with mundane household things. Laundry and dinner were both finished by the time Edward and Caroline got home, but my mind had reeled the entire time I waited for them.

_The garage was quiet as I stepped in the side door, though I could hear him working. Just soft clangs and mutters as he bent over Dr. Gerandy's old Chevy. _

"_Hi," I said softly, so as not to startle him. _

_He turned, smiling. "Hey, beautiful." _

"_You busy?" _

"_Never too busy for you," Edward replied, pulling me into a tight hug. "How was class?" _

_I shrugged. "Fine, I guess." _

"_You guess?" he asked after he'd released me and slammed the hood to the Chevy. _

"_Just had some things on my mind…can we talk?" _

"_We're talking." He grinned and rested himself against the car. I forced a smile and swallowed the bile in my throat. "What's wrong?" Edward asked as he pulled me between his legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave a shuddery breath. _

"_I just needed to see you," I whispered to his shoulder._

"_Talk to me," he said softly as he gently pushed me away. Edward took my hands from around his neck and clasped them both in his own. His warm, rough skin was like home to me – so familiar and perfect. Fingers slipped under the hem of my shirt and glided across the skin of my stomach and I flinched._

_I pulled away from him and wrapped my arms around myself, tears stinging my eyes. _

"_Leah…did I do something wrong?" Edward's voice was quiet behind me. _

_I shook my head as a small sob managed to fall from my lips. _

"_Will you please tell me what's going on?" he asked worriedly. _

"_I…" I trailed off and met his eyes, so full of concern and love. How would he react? What would he do? "Edward, I'm pregnant." _

"_Oh." Edward reached out like he wanted to hug me, but ran his hand through his hair instead. He blew out a puff of air and set his hands on his hips, his eyes trained on his feet. "Shit." _

_I lifted a hand to wipe my tears away, a movement he noticed from the corner of his eye. _

"_You're sure?" he asked with his gaze on me again. _

"_I took three tests," I said with a weak smile. _

"_Shit," he repeated. "How? We're so careful! I just– fuck! The beach party…" he muttered to himself. _

_I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to settle my nerves. The beach party. The night he'd come to pick me up. The way his skin tasted, how our bodies pressed together in the front of his truck…_

"_Leah?" Edward's voice broke my trance and I met his eyes once more. _

"_I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling my tears spill out before I could stop them. _

"_For what?" He took my face in his hands and wiped my tears away. _

_I shook my head again and hiccupped, my own hands gripping his. "Just– just because…" _

"_Tell me what you want to do," he said before pressing his forehead to mine. _

"_What do you mean?" _

"_I'll support you whatever you choose. One hundred percent," Edward explained. _

"_I want it," I told him, without missing a beat. He took a ragged breath as an unknown emotion passed through his eyes. I should have known he would support me no matter what, even though I'd known from the moment I'd seen those little blue lines that of course I would keep the baby. It was a part of me– a part of us. _

"_Okay." _

"_Okay?" _

"_I love you, Leah. I want this with you– marriage, kids…all of that. I mean, sure, this is a little sooner than I'd planned but whatever. We can do it." He smiled that crooked half-smile, shrugging, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. _

_I was still stuck on marriage. _

"_You aren't angry?" _

"_Angry?" He frowned. "Why would I be angry? It's not like you did it by yourself." _

_I managed a small laugh and my hand instinctively rested over my flat stomach. His eyes followed. _

"_That's true," I muttered. _

_Edward grinned."I'm going to be a dad. That's pretty cool." _

_I bit my lip, worried that if I smiled it would somehow ruin it all. Like being happy wasn't allowed because we were just kids and this shouldn't be happening to us just yet. _

_But Edward was happy. He was smiling and he loved me and he'd called himself a _dad_. Fuck, I loved him. _

"_I'm really scared," I admitted. _

"_Oh, fuck yeah," he said with a light laugh. "But we're in it together, right?" _

"_I am if you are." _

"_Like you could get rid of me," he said before drawing me into a gentle kiss. "Of course, it'll be tough to do once Charlie kills me." _

"_Crap," I groaned. _

"_I'll tell him." _

"_No, no. We're in it together, right?" _

"_Right." He nodded. _

"_Will you go with me tomorrow? To the clinic? I want to be sure before I give my parents a heart attack," I teased weakly. _

"_Yeah. Yeah, sure," Edward agreed and pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and breathed him in. "I'm here. One hundred percent." _

_I sighed. "I know." _

_xXx_

"_Are you nervous?" Edward asked quietly as he gripped my hand in his. I glanced down at his shaking leg and gently pulled my hand away to rest it on his thigh. _

"_Are you?" _

_He gave me a little half-smile. "A bit." _

_I took his hand in mine again and rested my head on his shoulder. He pressed his lips to my forehead and sighed quietly. _

"_Leah?" The nurse stuck her head out the door and called my name. Edward and I glanced at each other before we slowly stood up and followed her down the little hall. _

"_You just have a seat right here and we'll get you all set up," she said as she pointed to the examining table. Edward helped me as I slid onto the crumply paper and resumed his death grip on my hand. "Your test did come back positive, so we're going to get an ultrasound for you and make sure you've got everything you need to help you through your pregnancy, okay?" _

_I nodded, unable to find my voice. I knew it was true, but hearing it from someone else's mouth made it even more so. Edward made a noise and I turned to look at him. His face was paler than usual, his eyes wide as he took in the room. I squeezed his hand softly and his gaze fell on me. He tried to smile, but it was really no use. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an eighteen-wheeler._

"_Go ahead and unbutton your jeans for me, then lift your shirt up, just a bit." I followed her instructions after prying my hand free and leaving Edward looking even more lost than before. _

_She squirted the jelly on my stomach and I flinched at the coldness of it. Edward's hand instinctively went to my shoulder so I reached up and laced our fingers together. The nurse pressed the wand into my skin and it felt like time froze for that brief moment while she moved it around. _

_Then I heard it. _

_Just a soft whump-whump sound. That little rhythm that seemed to replace all of my favorite sounds in the very first second I heard it. _

_I could hear the nurse talking and pointing to the screen, but I couldn't make out any of the words she was saying. Somehow, I knew what- _who-_ I was looking at though. _

_Our baby._

_He, or she, was a little peanut on the screen, nothing defined or accentuated just yet. But that baby was _there_. _

_I turned to look at Edward and was stunned to see his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. He moved slowly, until his face was right next to mine, and pressed a gentle kiss on my cheek. _

"_I love you," he whispered against my skin. I smiled and touched his face gently. _

_We didn't have much time in our little moment, because soon enough I was cleaned up and redressed and we were standing out in the parking lot with one little black and white photo of our baby. _

_I clutched the sonogram in one hand and Edward's hand in the other as we made our way back to his truck. As soon as I moved to open the door, he stopped me. I turned, letting my eyes take him in under the warm spring sun: shiny copper hair and pale, lovely skin. I wondered if our child would look like him and smiled. _

"_Marry me?" His voice was so calm it unnerved me. _

"_What? _No_. Shut up," I scoffed. _

_He frowned and took my hands in his. "Why not?" he asked, his impossibly green eyes staring into mine for what felt like a very uncomfortable eternity. _

"_Edward, I'm not going to marry you just because I'm pregnant!" _

"_Then marry me because you love me and want to spend the rest of your life with me," he said with a small shrug. _

_I stared at him for a long moment, and then I took a deep breath. _

"_Yes." _

"_Yes?" He cracked part of a smile. _

"_Yes, dammit. I'll marry you," I huffed and wrapped my arms around my chest. Edward grinned and lifted me off my feet. _

"_Only if you're sure," he whispered with his face close to mine. _

"_Of course I am." I touched his lips with my fingertips and smiled up at him. "Because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you…and because you knocked me up." _

"_It was bound to happen eventually," he teased before pressing his lips to mine. _

I started as Caroline ran through the front door and to the dining room and unloaded the new markers, crayons, and paper Edward had picked up at an art supply store we frequented.

"Hey," Edward greeted me with a gentle kiss and I pulled him into my arms. We stumbled and fell against the counter, laughing.

"I missed you," I murmured against his neck.

"We weren't gone for very long," he said as he tightened his arms around me.

"I know." I leaned up and kissed him again.

"How was Alice?" Edward asked as he pulled two beers from the refrigerator, opened them on the hem of his shirt and handed me one.

"She was fine. I just needed to get away." I fingered the label before sipping slowly.

He nodded as if he understood and leaned against the counter next to me.

"It's hard…to be happy for her," he said quietly. I closed my eyes and leaned into Edward and his arm wrapped around my shoulders. He lifted the bottle to his lips and drank, his eyes focused on something out the window.

It had been a whole month and neither one of us mentioned it, though I knew we both had to be feeling it.

"I just think about him, you know? I think about getting married and having a baby and…fuck, it's just hard." He set his bottle down and rubbed his free hand over his face.

"Why don't we talk about him? Eli." His name fell from my lips and I knew there was no turning back.

Edward stiffened and pulled his arm from around me. He picked up his beer again and took a long swig, thinking.

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?" I took a step toward him, my hand outstretched.

"I won't, Leah." Edward eyed my hand until I dropped it uselessly at my side.

"We_ have_ to, Edward."

"No." He turned away from me.

"Why not?" I cried, slamming my own bottle on the counter. It foamed and spilled out over the counter.

"Because I can't!" Edward practically yelled as he turned back to me. "I can't talk about him, Leah. It's like there's a hole in my chest that starts to close up and the second someone mentions his name everything fucking unravels again!"

"Do you think you're the only one that feels that way, Edward?" I narrowed my eyes at him and he rolled his.

"No, I know I'm not."

"Then help me out here, please?" I held my hand out again and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I can't," he said sadly, his eyes wet and shining with tears.

"I thought you of all people would…I need to go," I snapped as I turned abruptly and headed for the front door, very aware that I'd been running from my problems all day and not finding it in me to care.

"Go? Where the hell are you going?" Edward called after me, but I grabbed my keys and was out the door before he reached me. The last thing I heard was him calling my name.

EPOV

"Where's Mama?" Caroline asked as she climbed into bed. We'd had dinner, took a bath, and read a story and Leah was nowhere to be found. I knew she was angry with me, but she was asking for something that I couldn't give to her.

I never thought I'd see the day when I couldn't do something for her.

"She'll be back soon. I'll make sure she comes in to kiss you," I told her before kissing her head and pulling her covers up to her chin. I was lying, of course. I didn't know when my wife would be back. Caroline looked up at me with her big, dark eyes and I sighed. "One more story?"

"Only if you want," she said with a grin. I laughed, climbed into her bed and grabbed a book off the nightstand. I read until she fell asleep and then dragged myself to bed.

It wasn't long after I'd climbed into bed that I heard her come in. I heard the front door close and her quiet footsteps down the hall. First at our daughter's bedroom and then to ours. The bathroom door closed and a few minutes later she slipped into bed behind me. She pressed a warm hand between my shoulder blades and then her lips replaced it. I shuddered despite myself and reached a hand back to pull her closer.

My fingers met her warm skin and it took me a moment to realize she was completely naked: a peace offering.

I moved quickly, rolling to my side and then over her body. My elbows rested beside her head and her legs were on either side of my body, welcoming me.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, framing my face with her hands.

Nodding, I kissed her. Gently at first, until it wasn't so gentle and we were both gasping for breath. Leah was quick to push my boxers down and bring her hand between us, guiding me inside. She arched against me and I crushed my lips to hers, my own apology.

We moved together slowly, finding our perfect rhythm. Making up was never something we had trouble with. I kissed her hard, pushing myself deeper and keeping my weight rested on my elbows. She whimpered quietly, holding my face to hers until her head was thrown back into the pillows and her body was tightening around me. It didn't take long until I was following, stilling above her and panting against her skin.

I rolled to my side and brought her with me, my lips on her neck, chin, and mouth. She tried to speak, but I kissed her again, because I didn't need an apology. I just needed her to know I was there for her, even if it wasn't in all the ways she wanted.


	9. Chapter Eight

**They still belong to SM. **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes are my better halves (thirds?). You know this. **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing and for just being you. :)**

**This one's full of flashbacks, just FYI. **

* * *

><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Eight<p>

It was quiet in Emmett's office, just the sound of his secretary answering phones and his fingers typing away at his laptop. I glanced around the small room, taking in Emmett's framed University of Florida jersey, pictures of our family, and his diplomas. He had followed his dream: after accepting a scholarship from a big school he earned his degree and married his dream girl. I was proud of him, happy for him, and never once was I jealous of him…until now.

"What's going on with you?" Emmett asked, grabbing his coffee and not looking away from his computer screen.

"Not much," I muttered, and picked up a little dish that contained paperclips from his desk. I started stringing them all together until Emmett's head turned to me, his blue eyes narrowed.

He pointed a finger accusingly at me. "Last time you did that it took me two days to get them undone!"

I chuckled. "That was Leah, actually," I replied as I returned his paperclips.

"Yeah, well…sometimes I can't tell the two of you apart." My brother turned back to his computer and I smiled.

"_I admire you for what you think you're doing, Edward, but…are you sure this is right for your life?" Charlie crossed his arms and leaned against the counter, eyeing me like a hawk does its prey. _

"_What? Marrying Leah? Starting a family?" I frowned and mirrored his stance, trying to be tougher than I was actually feeling. _

"_Yes, son. Is that what you want? What about college?" _

"_I have the garage and my AA. I don't have any plans to go back to Stanford," I explained. It was true. All my life I'd wanted to be a doctor, but coming home to help my family had changed that for me. I was needed here, why didn't he see that?_

"_And for Leah? How is she going to go to school with a baby? Have you thought about that?" he glared, and I stood my ground. _

"_She can do it. You know she can. And I'll support her one hundred percent. I'll stay home or take the baby with me or we'll get a babysitter or daycare!" I was really started to get frustrated with him now. _

"_You're just so young-" _

"_Charlie, are you seriously trying to talk me out of marrying your daughter?" I laughed and shook my head before stalking out of the kitchen and back into the living room, where Leah was waiting anxiously with our mothers. I'd had enough of him patronizing me. I was an adult. I'd taken over my father's garage and had been running it at a profit for almost a year. Leah and I loved each other. It was going to _work_. _

_Leah stood when she saw me, and I held my hand out to her. She took it and I pulled her to me, and then wiped her tear-stained cheeks with my other hand. _

"_I love you," I whispered before kissing her forehead. She gripped my hand in response and I turned to our parents. "We're prepared to do this with or without your support." _

"_Edward…" My mother stood up, and as she did, Charlie stepped behind Sue and rested his hand on her shoulder. The three of them exchanged worried glances. _

"_It's not what we planned, but it's what's happening," I said, slipped my arm around Leah's shoulder and pulling her closer. I could feel her shuddering breaths and all I wanted to do was hold her tight and promise her that everything would be okay. That we would be fine and our kid would be fine and to hell with everyone else. _

"_You're not going to do this alone, kid," Charlie finally spoke up. Leah stiffened next to me. _

"_No, of course you aren't," Sue added. "We love you both. We'll support you, whatever you choose." _

_My mother nodded and I felt myself let out a sigh of relief. _

"_Thank you," Leah whispered, before burying her face in my shoulder and letting out a sob. Then I did wrap both of my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. _

"_You'll need a dress," Sue said. _

"_And a cake!" Mom interjected. _

_I felt Leah laugh and tighten her arms around me. Glancing over her head, I met Charlie's eyes once more. He smiled and gave me a nod of approval, like he was handing her over to me. I knew it was a huge responsibility, but it was one I was ready and willing to take on. _

"How is she, by the way?" Emmett finally shut his computer and turned his attention to me fully.

I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face. "She's okay."

"Truthfully, Edward."

"Truthfully? I think she's doing better than me," I admitted quietly.

Emmett frowned and leaned back in his chair.

"You know, when Bella and I lost the first baby…it was like a knife through the heart every time we were around you guys and Eli."

I turned away from his gaze, focusing my eyes on the numbers of his jersey.

"You guys were so happy and you had everything we wanted– "

"It isn't the same, Emmett," I interrupted.

"I know it isn't the same, Ed. I know. I'm just trying to relate to you here. I can't imagine what it was like for you and Leah losing him. I know how I felt– how the rest of us feel."

"It hurts," I muttered and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Every fucking day," he added. "But if you don't deal with it, it's not going to get better."

"How am I supposed to deal with it?"

"I can't help you there, bro." Emmett shook his head and leaned on his elbows. He steepled his fingers and gazed at me over them. "But maybe you should find someone who can."

"Right. I think I've had enough bonding for today." I stood and stalked out of his office, slamming the door behind me, his advice stinging like lemon juice on a paper cut. I couldn't sit with someone and talk about my son. Not yet. I couldn't even talk about him with my wife without feeling like my insides were ripping themselves open. How was I supposed to talk to a complete stranger about it?

I left Emmett's office and called the garage, letting Jared know he needed to lock up, and then I drove. I knew that when Leah went off for "drives" she ended up at the cemetery. Her father was buried there just a few rows away from my own, but she didn't go to see them; she went to see Eli.

Even thinking his name broke my heart into little pieces. I kept driving past the cemetery and all I could think about was Leah.

Leah and her unfailing love.

Leah and her ability to make all my pain go away.

Why couldn't I do that for her?

"_I just want to change before we go back to your house, is that okay?" she asked, leading me up the stairs to her bedroom. _

_I shrugged."It's fine." Once inside her bedroom I pulled off my jacket and loosened my tie while she pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out, and then slipped off to the bathroom to change. It wasn't like we hadn't seen each other naked before. Well, partially naked…kind of. _

_A few moments later she emerged from the bathroom, still in her plain black dress. _

"_Will you unzip me? I can't reach it." She frowned. I smiled and beckoned her to me where I sat on the edge of her bed. Leah held her hair to the side as I slowly unzipped her dress, reveling in the sight of dark skin under the fabric. "Thank you," she said with a small smile and turned around to kiss my nose. I caught her arms and pulled her down to me, until we were both laying on her bed. _

"_Can we just stay here a while? I'm not ready to go home yet," I whispered against her cheek. _

"_Of course," she responded, her breathing shallow. Her fingers trailed across my cheek, then down my neck, and caught my tie. She tugged me to her and kissed me gently. But I didn't want gentle. I wanted _her_. All of her. _

_I kissed her harder and let my hand travel up her thigh, bunching the material of her dress up as it went. My lips were on her neck as my hand went farther up, coming in contact with soft lace and– _

"_Wait," Leah stuttered. "Please." _

"_Did I do something wrong?" I murmured against her ear and she shivered against me. _

"_No. It's just…I've…I've never done _that_ before," she said with her eyes closed tight. _

_It took a moment for her words to sink in, but when they did I'd ripped myself away from her and was sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. I didn't say anything for a long moment. All I could think about was how beautiful and perfect she was. How completely unselfish and amazing and just…Leah. _

_She sighed and stood up, making her way to the bathroom door again. _

"_I should get dressed so we can go," she muttered. _

_I followed quickly and closed the door before she could open it all the way. _

"_Not yet," I whispered, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her exposed shoulder. "I'm sorry. I should have known. I shouldn't have tried…" _

"_I guess I should I have mentioned it sooner," Leah replied quietly. _

"_No. I wanted you so much. I couldn't think of anything else." I pulled her closer against me and felt her body relax into mine. Her skin was still exposed, still teasing me. _

"_Edward…" she whispered my name and I closed my eyes at the sound of it. It was like sweet surrender. _

"_Leah, I just…fuck, I love you so much," the words came out in a rush and I immediately wished I hadn't chosen _that _moment to tell her that. She froze in my arms and I stifled a groan._

_I clasped my hands behind my head and stepped away from her. "I'm sorry." _

"_Sorry? Sorry that you love me?" she asked, loud and clear. _

_I turned back to her quickly. "God, no." My hands cupped her face, bringing her dark eyes back to mine. "Loving you is the only thing that's keeping my head above water, Leah. I've wanted to tell you for weeks, but I couldn't find the courage to. I just didn't want to remember this moment with the day I buried my father." _

_She blinked at me, her hands covering mine. _

"_I didn't want it to happen this way," I said again. She pulled my hands from her face and kissed my knuckles, and then dropped them and wrapped her arms around my neck. She pulled me closer until our foreheads touched and then her lips were pressed against mine. _

"_I love you too, Teddy," Leah whispered as she pulled away._

"_Even if I'm a mess?" I tried to laugh, but it just came out as a broken sob. _

"Because_ you're a mess. You're _my_ mess." She kissed me again and held me tightly, like I was going to fly away or something. I didn't care; sometimes it felt like I might. But when it did…I held on to her. _

I don't know how it happened, but I'd somehow made it to First Beach. After dragging myself out of the truck, I trudged through the sand and stopped. Standing at the edge of the water, I watched as it surrounded my shoes. As I stepped forward the water rushed over my ankles, soaking my jeans.

I kept walking until the water was up to my waist, then my chest, and finally my shoulders.

It was cold, soaking my clothes and stabbing needles in my skin, but I didn't care. I couldn't. Taking a deep breath, I submerged myself fully. I could feel the current pushing me forward but I planted my feet, trying to keep myself in place. I didn't want to move, I wanted to feel something. Something different than the pain I'd been feeling for almost eight months.

My legs and lungs begin to ache, but I couldn't allow myself to give in just yet.

The pressure of the water seemed to relieve the pressure in my chest. It helped to take away the awful pain that came with losing my son. The water pushed and pulled and I let it, suddenly not caring where it took me.

But that wasn't true. I did care. I cared about it all, because I had to. I had a wife and a daughter and a family that needed me, right? Or maybe I needed them. The lines had been blurred so much that it was hard to tell sometimes.

I pushed myself up, aiming for the vague sense of light I got even behind closed lids. When I finally emerged, I dragged myself out and collapsed on the sand, trying to catch my breath. It would be so easy to just give up, but I knew I couldn't, even though the temptation to throw myself back under and stay there until I couldn't feel anything was a siren call, whispering in my ear. No matter how much it hurt, I did have a lot to live for.

"_Are you okay? You sounded…you scared me when you called." Leah's voice was quiet and worried as she climbed onto the tailgate of my truck. _

"_I'm okay," I muttered. I felt her hand on my cheek and I closed my eyes. _

"_What are you doing out here?" I turned to her, burying my face in her neck and pulling her closer. I was parked in a clearing off the 101, a little bluff that I had found years ago. We could still hear the waves crashing below us. _

"_Just…" I trailed off and pulled back to look at her. Moonlight cast over her features, highlighting her dark hair and eyes. _

"_Just what?" she whispered and brushed my hair from my face. _

"_I don't really know," I admitted. Leah frowned and pulled me against her again. Her fingers ran through the hair at the back of my neck and I let my arms wrap around her. "I found a list of parts Dad made. A fucking list, Leah, and I lost it. It was just a piece of paper with his handwriting on it." _

_She pressed her lips to my temple and then pulled back, taking my face in her hands and kissing me gently. _

"_You loved him so much, Edward. It's okay to feel that way," she whispered and pressed her forehead against mine. _

"_I miss him so much," I told her quietly. _

"_I know, baby." _

_She let me wrap her up in my arms and pull her down to the bed of my truck until our bodies were pressed together on top of an old beach blanket. Leah leaned on her elbow and rested her hand on my cheek, her eyes trained on mine. I smiled and tugged her down to me, suddenly and incredibly desperate for contact with her. _

"_You want to talk about it?" she nestled against my neck and pulled herself closer to me. _

"_I can't. Not yet." I murmured into her hair. _

"_Okay," she replied, turning her face up to mine. I kissed her gently, before tangling my hands in her hair and pulling her over me. I angled her face up and pressed my lips to the skin of her neck, smiling at the way her breath came in little pants. _

"_I love you, Teddy," she said softly against my lips, then she straightened up and I caught the deeper meaning behind her words. Her hands went to her the hem of her shirt and she lifted it over her head, leaving her in a plain black bra. I let my eyes rake over her body, and felt my pulse increase. We'd fooled around plenty, but when I'd tried to go further a few weeks earlier she'd stopped me because she wasn't ready. She'd never been that far. _

_I felt guilty for not knowing that about her and for assuming that she had, so we'd cooled things down a little bit. But tonight…tonight was different. _

_I rolled until I hovered over her, my elbows rested by her head and my hips pressed against hers. She tugged my shirt off and ran her hands down my chest, and then unbuttoned my jeans. I moved to the side to take them off, before settling myself over her again. She cupped the back of my neck, drawing me into a kiss. I nipped at her bottom lip, kissed her chin, and then let my mouth travel down. My hands slipped under her, unlatching her bra and leaving her bare underneath me. My mouth was on her skin and her hands were in my hair, holding me against her. Little whispers fell from her lips as I pressed a kiss to her belly button. _

_Slowly, I undid the button on her jeans and slipped them over her hips and tugged them off. Leah sighed as I slipped her little black panties off and then helped me remove my boxers. She finally met my eyes again when we were skin to skin. _

"_Do you have…" she touched my face softly. I nodded and moved away to dig through my jeans. I found the little packet quickly and she pulled me back to her, between her legs and over her body. _

_We didn't talk for, just kissed and touched until we were both out of breath and teetering on the edge. _

"_I need you so much," I whispered against her cheek. _

"_You have me, baby," she replied with a soft smile. _

_I took a deep breath and pushed her thighs further apart, settling myself before slowly guiding myself inside. She gasped, her fingers digging into my shoulders as I filled her. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and I quickly kissed it away. _

"_It's okay. It's okay," she murmured, pulling me closer. I nodded and kissed her, though I knew she was lying. Guilt coursed through me at her obvious discomfort, but she felt so incredible that I couldn't find it in me to stop. _

_I kissed her again, my hips moving slowly against hers. She laced our fingers together and arched up into me. I groaned loudly at the movement and Leah laughed lightly. _

"_Something funny?" I managed to whisper against her lips. _

"_No," she gasped as I bit down on her earlobe. _

"_I love you," I told her as my pace quickened. _

"_I know," she replied, letting go of my hand and wrapping both of her arms around my neck. Bracing one hand by her head, I let the other one travel to her hip and buried my face in the crook of her neck. She held me close, her arms and legs tight around me. Leah whimpered lightly and I kissed her, trying to put everything I was feeling into it. She tugged on my hair and I fell off the edge, stilling and breathing hard against her skin. _

"_You're beautiful. I love you. You're perfect," I murmured, kissing her cheeks and lips over and over. Leah laughed quietly and smoothed my hair. _

"_Same to you." She kissed me again as I rolled us to our sides. She winced and I frowned. _

"_I'm sorry," I said softly. She shook her head rested her forehead against mine. _

"_I told you: it's okay." Leah closed her eyes and nuzzled my chin. "It was worth it." _

"_Thank you for coming out here. For coming to find me." _

"_I'll always be here to find you, Teddy." _

I shivered all the way home, my clothes still drenched and covered in sand.

It was just a little after seven when I finally got home. I pulled off my wet shoes and left them by the front door, and then made my way to the kitchen where Leah was washing dishes.

"Hi."

"Hey!" She turned to me with a smile that quickly dissolved when she took in my wet clothes and disheveled state. "What the hell happened?"

"I, uh…I don't really know," I mumbled and looked down at my clothes.

"Are you okay?" she asked and took a few cautious steps toward me.

"No," I choked out and reached for her. She came to me and quickly wrapped me in her warm embrace. "I'm not okay."

She sighed and held me closer, knowing without me having to say what I wasn't okay about.

"We'll be fine, Teddy. We'll be fine," Leah whispered. "I'm here. We'll be okay."

I pulled back to look at her, dark eyes filled with tears and tinged with worry. I could tell she wanted me to believe her, but more than that, I could see that she wanted to believe herself.


	10. Chapter Nine

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Nine<p>

"Two coffees, please," Bella ordered as we slid into a little booth at a diner across town from our mother's. Not that we were hiding, but sometimes we needed to have conversations without her hanging around. Bella had come over that morning under the guise of running, but after I'd answered the door exhausted and puffy-eyed, she'd whisked me away like the good sister she was and demanded that I tell her what the fuck was going on.

"I don't know what to say, Bella," I muttered and stirred my coffee absently.

"Leah, something is wrong. I've never seen you this upset. You can tell me anything, you know."

"I know," I said thickly. "He's just…he's different."

"Edward?" she asked. I nodded.

"Things have been going so well lately and then yesterday he came home soaked to the bone and he couldn't even tell me what was wrong."

"Emmett said he came to talk to him." Bella frowned. "They talked about Eli. Emmett suggested Edward…get some help."

I closed my eyes and rested my head in my heads.

"Maybe he should. Maybe I should too."

Bella reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "I think that's a decision that the two of you need to make together."

"Right. Together. Ugh."

"Let's just order breakfast, I'm starving," she quickly changed the subject and I gave her a grateful smile. Bella, the skinny bitch, loaded up on pancakes, and I went sensible with scrambled eggs and toast.

The time alone with my sister was nice, not that my mind was free from worry. Edward had been doing so well the past few weeks, so his coming home disheveled and upset was completely bewildering.

When I got home he was dressed and getting ready for work, though I'd told him the night before that a day off not be such a bad idea.

"Hi," I greeted him, kissing his cheek and heading to our closet to change.

"Good run?" he asked, slipping on his shoes.

"Oh, we just went to breakfast." I shrugged and pulled off my t-shirt and sports bra, and crossed the room to my dresser.

"Huh. Oh," he muttered from behind me.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I pulled a bra out of my top drawer and turned to him.

"What?" His eyes traveled away from my face, so I stuck my hands on my hips and glared at him.

"I'm up here, Edward!" I stamped my foot.

"Babe, if you wanted to have a conversation with me you shouldn't have taken your shirt off." He grinned as I rolled my eyes and tossed my bra at him. "Kinky, but it doesn't match my underwear."

"Go make my lunch, will you?" I laughed and tried to shove him out of the bedroom and hold one arm crossed over my chest at the same time.

"Yes ma'am," he said before kissing me gently. I smiled as he left, his mood seemingly a hundred times better than the night before. I knew we still had to talk about it, though. Thinking of that conversation scared me because I'd never seen Edward so distraught, not even when his father died. I didn't know how he would take it, how he would handle me telling him he needed help. That _we_ needed help.

I dressed and got Caroline ready, and then the three of us sat down to a quiet breakfast. It was surprisingly normal, considering the night we'd had.

"Can we take some time to talk tonight?" I asked after he'd buckled Caroline in the backseat of my car.

He let out a puff of air and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes trained on his feet.

"Please?" I added.

"Yeah. We can talk," Edward finally answered. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead without meeting my eyes. "Love you."

I watched him get in his truck and drive away before I slipped into my own car to take my daughter to school.

"Mama? Why was Daddy sad today?" Caroline asked as we pulled out of the driveway.

"What do you mean, baby?" I frowned and looked at her in the rearview mirror.

"I don't know. Daddy just seemed sad. Like somebody stealed his sunshine."

"He's fine, sweetie. Don't worry, okay?"

"I just don't like it when he's sad," she muttered and stared out the window.

"Me either," I said quietly.

The rest of the drive was silent. Caroline stared out the window and I tried to keep myself together, for her sake. I managed to make it all the way to my classroom, until I buried my face in my hands and let my tears fall, sobbing unashamedly in the solace of my little room.

"Leah?" My head snapped up at the sound of a familiar voice and I quickly wiped my tears away.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I stood up and shuffled some papers around on my desk to make myself look busy.

"Oh, I saw you come in. I uh, I just haven't seen you in a while. I wanted to check on you." He shrugged and kept his dark eyes trained on me.

"I'm fine," I'm muttered.

"You're _not_," he responded, taking a few quick steps until he was in front of me. "Leah, if he…"

"Jesus Christ, Jacob. He didn't _do_ anything! Please stop trying to accuse my husband of things!" I pushed him in the chest and turned away from him.

Jacob sighed. "I'm sorry. I just worry about you."

"I know, Jake. Believe me, I know. But what's happening with Edward and me...it can only be solved by us."

He frowned. "You don't have to do it alone, Leah."

"I'm not doing it alone, Jacob. I'm doing it with my husband, because it's about my family: me, Edward, and Carrie. Okay?"

"If you say so, Leah," Jacob muttered and turned away from me. I watched him stalk out of my classroom without a backward glance and immediately felt worse than I had before he walked in. Jake was a friend, a really good one, but sometimes he got a little too close. There were some things I couldn't talk to him about. Some things weren't for him, or anyone besides Edward, to know.

I pushed those thoughts out of my head, though, and readied for my day. I had too much to worry about in the here and now, too much to focus on right in front of me. It was a difficult task, however. Edward had occupied nearly all of my thoughts for the past ten years.

Somehow I managed to make it through the day, only pausing a few times to think about how I was going to bring up the subject of our son to Edward. But, more than that, I wanted us to get help…together.

EPOV

It had become glaringly obvious that Leah was so much stronger than me. It shouldn't have been that way, though. I should have been able to take care of her and Caroline, not the other way around.

"Hey, Ed, I've got an oil change and a flat to patch. The guys went on break; you want to grab one for me?" Jared stuck his head in my office. I nodded and followed him out to the garage, but was nearly knocked off my feet when I got there.

A little boy was standing next to a black SUV.

A little boy with dark brown hair and big green eyes.

He looked at me and smiled. My heart caught in my throat.

"Hi. Are you going to fix my mommy's car?" He looked up at me with those big eyes and I nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am." I smiled, swallowing hard and stepping around him to greet his mother. "You've got a flat?"

"Yes! I must've hit a nail. They're doing construction by our house, and I just don't have the time to get a new one right now," the blonde woman behind him said in a rush. I smiled and nodded, all the while pretending that seeing her kid didn't almost send me into a nervous breakdown.

"No problem," I told her. "I'll take care of it, and when you have the time we'll get that tire put on for you, okay? You can head on through there and hang out in our waiting area if you like."

"Thank you." She flashed me a smile and held her hand out to her son. "Come on, Noah."

I patched the tire and made my way to the waiting area where we kept a television and vending machines. We also always kept the place stocked with crayons and coloring books. That had been Leah's idea. After we had Caroline and started taking the kids places, she'd realized it was best to make sure our customers had something to keep their own kids busy.

She was pretty smart that way.

I tried to keep my eyes off the little boy as I approached the woman, but it was difficult. He was a little taller than Eli, and probably about as old as he would be if he were still here.

If he were still alive.

"You're all set, ma'am," I said as I handed her keys to her car.

"Oh, that was quick!" she smiled as she stood up and took the keys from me. "How much do I owe you?"

I waved my hand. "Don't worry about it. Just be sure you come in soon so we can get a new one on. I'd hate for you to get another flat."

"What? No, you've got to charge me something!" She pulled out her wallet, but her son quickly interrupted.

"Mister? I found this. Did somebody lose it?" He held up a little matchbox car, and that small strand of sanity I was holding onto started to unravel.

"Um. Yeah," I cleared my throat and took the car from his little hands, hoping neither one of them would notice my shaking fingers. "It's my son's."

"Oh! How old is he? We just moved to town and Noah doesn't have many friends. Maybe we could get together?" She spoke so fast I hardly had a chance to process her words so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"He's seven," I responded, which wasn't a complete lie. Eli _was_ seven. He would _always_ be seven. "You can keep that," I said to Noah who smiled widely up at me as I handed him back the car. "We'll see you again soon." With that, I turned and made my way back to the garage, breathing heavily and trying to keep it together.

"You okay?" Jared's voice sounded like it was a million miles away. I nodded, bracing myself on a toolbox and steadying myself.

"Yeah. I'll finish up here. Take a break," I told him. He eyed me for a moment before nodding and heading out through the open garage door. I finished his oil change and handled the customer, and then I found myself back in the corner with that old Mustang and hoped a little work would take my mind off what just happened.

I lied to a woman I didn't even know. I told her my son was alive. That something _belonged_ to him.

Maybe Emmett was right.

LPOV

"Ugh. Dirt." I wrinkled my nose at the cup of coffee I poured myself in the teacher's lounge.

"What did you expect?" Angela chuckled from behind me.

"I have high hopes, you know," I sighed as I dumped the cup out and settled for a Diet Coke from the vending machine. "I just need the caffeine."

"Is that hot husband of yours keeping you up all night?" Mrs. Cope asked as she stepped into the lounge.

"Shelly!" I cried, feeling my face flush. "I can't believe you, you dirty old woman!"

"Oh, honey, just be happy you caught him before I snatched him up." She winked at me and gestured to a tall blonde woman I just happened to notice standing behind her. "This is Rosalie Hale. She's our new English teacher."

"Leah Cullen, Art." I shook her hand and nodded to Mrs. Cope. "Be careful around this one," I joked.

"Cullen? As in Cullen's Garage?" Rosalie asked, her head tilted in question.

"Yeah, my husband," I explained.

"Tall guy? Ginger-looking?" she asked. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Edward hated when people called him a ginger. I thought it was funny.

"That's the one."

"I was just in there with a flat this morning! He was fantastic, wouldn't even let me pay! Please tell him thank you for me again. Oh! And we'll have to get our boys together, too!"

I froze, my smile faltering and ultimately disappearing.

"Boys?"

"Your husband said you have a little boy about my son's age," she explained.

"Oh. Yes. Well, I've got to run," I forced the words out and pushed my way past her and Mrs. Cope, feeling all of their eyes on me.

He'd told her we had a son? Like he was still alive? Like he was still breathing and smiling and could go on play dates?

I wanted to be angry with Edward. I wanted to yell at him and shake him and ask him why. Why was he lying? Why didn't he tell her the truth? But I couldn't find it in me to be angry with him.

I would have done the same thing.

Once again, I found myself at my desk with my head in my hands. I wasn't crying this time, however. My thoughts were reeling, imagining how I was going to approach the situation that only seemed to be getting worse by the day. How I was going to explain to my new colleague that our "boys" couldn't play together?

"Leah?" Rosalie opened the door cautiously. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course." I stood up and made my way to her, pulling out a stool and gesturing for her to sit down.

"I'm sorry. Shelly…explained everything," she said softly.

"No, it's okay. Edward, my husband, is just– he's having a tough time," I replied, feeling tears prick my eyes. Rosalie grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm sorry! This is probably not what you expected on your first day of work," I blubbered and wiped at my eyes.

Rosalie smiled. "I can't imagine what it must be like. I know if I had been in his situation, I probably would have done the same thing."

"Yeah, me too," I replied. "We have good days and bad days." I didn't feel the need to mention that we'd been having a lot of bad days. After all, we'd only just met.

"Understandable." She smiled again, warm and friendly. "I've got to get to my classroom, but I'll see you around, right?"

"I'll be here," I joked weakly as I walked her out the door.

"It was lovely to meet you," Rosalie said as she left. I hoped she was being sincere, because she was very nice, but at the same time…I probably seemed like a big ball of crazy to her.

Hell, I _felt_ like a big ball of crazy myself.

I made it through the rest of the day without anymore breakdowns or run-ins with Rosalie. By the end of the afternoon I was too burnt out to think about talking to Edward, or to do anything else, so I called Bella and had her meet me at Mom's diner for dinner with the kids. I texted Edward to let him know where we were, but he said he was working late and declined my offer to join us. It was better that way, then I could tell Bella what he'd said…and what I'd said.

She listened while I talked and bounced Andrew on my lap. Occasionally he'd bang his spoon on the table and we'd stop, but for the most part it was just me rambling on.

"I don't know what to think now. How am I supposed to bring _that_ up?" I cast a glance at the girls sitting at the counter, spinning on their stools.

"You don't," she replied with a slight frown. "I mean, you can't really."

I sighed and kissed Andrew's head. "I know. I would have done the same."

"So would I," Bella said quietly with her eyes on her son. "It's such a fine line, Leah. I know you. You want to be angry at him for lying, but you can't. You can't because you feel what he feels and you love him too much to cause him any more pain."

"So what do I do?"

"What you've been doing, I guess."

"Which is?" _Slowly falling apart at the seams. _

"Love each other?" She shrugged and pulled Andrew away from me. "It's all you can do, really."

"I guess so," I muttered, and then forced a smile as Caroline made her way to me.

"Can we go home? I miss Daddy," she said as she wrapped her little arms around my neck.

"Yeah, baby. We can go. Give everyone kisses," I told her. She and Sami giggled their way through a goodbye hug, and she kissed Bella loudly on the cheek and Andrew gently on the top of the head. Then, she held out her hand and all but pulled me to the car.

Her excitement was quashed, however, when we pulled into our driveway. Edward's truck was there but none of our lights were on.

"Where's Daddy?" she asked with her hand tight in mine as we made our way up the front steps.

"I don't know," I muttered and unlocked the door. "Maybe he's sleeping, let's make sure we're quiet, okay?"

"Okay," she answered with an exaggerated whisper and giant tip-toe steps. I tried not to laugh as I followed her into her bedroom and helped her get ready for bed.

"Goodnight, I love you," I told her before tucking the covers up to her chin.

"I love you, Mama," she replied, snuggling under the blankets and rolling to her side.

I sighed and made my way to my own bedroom to find Edward already asleep in our bed. Quietly, I undressed and washed my face, but found him sitting up in bed when I opened the bathroom door.

"Hey," he muttered thickly, running a hand through his hopeless hair.

"Hi." I flipped off the bathroom light and found the bed in the dark. "Long day?"

"Something like that," Edward said as he reached for me.

"Edward, I-" I started, but was cut off by Caroline's voice.

"Mama? Can I sleep with you tonight?" she asked from the doorway.

"Not tonight-"

"Sure, Sweet," Edward interrupted me and held out his arm over the side of the bed. She went to him quickly and he pulled her up and in between us.

I frowned as I fell back into the bed, listening to Caroline and Edward's quiet whispers.

"How much do you love me?" he asked quietly.

"Bigger than the whole, wide world," she whispered back.

"Me too."

That time I smiled, because their love was beautiful. It was something to get lost in, to bask in its glow.

But, then again, Edward had said we could talk. I wanted that. I _needed_ that. I needed to talk to my husband about our son.

I needed- _we_ needed- to move on.


	11. Chapter Ten

**SM owns them and stuff. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Ten<p>

"Papa? Do you ever get sad?" I could hear Caroline's little voice from the kitchen where I was helping my mother with dinner. I stood quietly in the hall to listen to his answer, knowing he'd have exactly the right thing to say. He always did.

"Well, sometimes I do, yes," Charlie replied in a gentle tone. "Are you sad, sweet girl?"

"A little bit," she said quietly. I closed my eyes, not sure if I wanted to hear what else she had to say. It had been just over a week since Edward had chosen to ignore the opportunity to talk to me, and I hadn't pushed the issue again. I couldn't force him to do something he didn't want to do, and I knew he would only resent me for making him talk about Eli when he wasn't ready.

"What are you sad about?" I could almost see him brushing her hair from her face and tucking her head under his chin, just like he used to do to me.

"I miss Eli sometimes."

"You know what? So do I."

"Really?" she asked.

"Of course. I loved him very much."

"Me too," Caroline whispered.

I sighed and went to set the table.

"Is Edward coming?" Mom asked as I pulled out dishes and silverware.

"Yeah, he was cleaning up," I answered.

"Oh, set a place for your brother. He's coming for the weekend."

I frowned and pulled out another plate. Seth and I hadn't spoken in a couple of weeks, so his coming home was a surprise to me.

"Has he been planning this for a while?" I asked.

"I don't know, sweetie. He just called me yesterday and said he'd be coming through. Have you not spoken to him?"

"No, not in a few weeks. I guess we've both been busy," I muttered and went to finish setting the table.

A moment later there was a commotion in the front room: loud voices and Caroline's laughter filled my ears. I followed the sounds and found my daughter in the arms of my younger brother, huge smiles on both of their faces.

Seth's eyes met mine and he set Caroline down so he could pull me into his arms.

"How you doing, Lee?"

"Good. It's good to see you," I whispered, holding him tightly.

"I know," he said with a grin. I pushed him playfully and hugged him again because it _was_ really good to see him. It had been a few months since he'd been home and the last time I'd been in no shape for friendly visits.

"Hey, look at what the cat dragged in," I heard Edward's voice behind Seth and slipped out of my brother's grasp. Seth laughed and pulled my husband into a hug.

"I don't see a cat." Caroline frowned from between them. Edward laughed, his whole face seeming to light up at our daughter, and pulled her into his arms.

"It's just an expression, Sweet," he explained. Caroline's little eyebrows furrowed together as she thought.

"That's silly." She shook her head and Edward set her down, and then stepped toward me. Caroline took Seth's hand and led him into the kitchen where our mother was waiting.

"Did you know he was coming?" Edward asked as he tentatively slipped an arm around my waist.

"No," I told him, letting my arms wrap around his neck. "Did you?"

"Nah. He called me a few days ago, but I hadn't had a chance to call him back yet," he explained and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "How was work?"

"I'm ready for summer," I replied and settled my head on his shoulder.

Edward chuckled and kissed my head. "Just a few more weeks."

I sighed and held him closer for a long moment, letting myself get lost in the warmth of his body and the feel of his breath against my hair. He held me tightly and pressed his lips to my hair once more, before pulling away and taking my hand.

"Where's Bella?" Seth asked once we'd all sat down at the dinner table.

"Em had to meet a client in California, so they took the kids to Disneyland," Mom told him.

Caroline's jaw dropped.

"I want to go to Disneyland!" she cried.

Edward raised an eyebrow at her.

"Please?" she added.

"Maybe this summer," he said with a smile.

"Promise?" She stuck out her lower lip and I laughed quietly. Edward pressed her forehead to hers and kissed her nose.

"Promise," he replied.

Caroline seemed happy with that response and went back to eating her dinner, leaving a little pile of lima beans on her plate.

"You better eat those beans, little girl. Don't you want to grow up to be pretty like your daddy?" Seth asked, smirking at Edward.

"My daddy isn't pretty!" she cried, laughing.

"Hey!" Edward pretended to be angry and she giggled louder.

"They'll put hair on your chest," Charlie chimed in.

"Papa! That's gross! Only boys have hair there."

"Uncle Seth doesn't," I told her. "He waxes it."

Mom snorted into her glass and Caroline's eyes widened.

"No, babe. I think he just hasn't reached puberty yet," Edward added with a grin.

"When did this start being about me? I ate my lima beans!" Seth slammed his hand on the table and we laughed.

"What's puberty?" Caroline piped up after our laughter died down.

"Your mom will tell you when you're older," Edward said as he smoothed her unruly curls. I rolled my eyes at him but silently agreed.

The rest of dinner passed without talks of puberty or body hair. It was just Seth rambling on about traveling for his job as a sports writer and Edward and I talking about work. It was nice to be there with them, and good to see my brother, though all I really wanted was some quiet time with my husband. I didn't really even want to talk, I just wanted to _be_.

"Mama? Can I stay here tonight?" Caroline popped into the kitchen where Edward and I were cleaning up dinner. She had a colander on her head and a wooden spoon in her hand: Uncle Seth had made a fort in the living room.

I glanced at Edward and he nodded.

"As long as Mema doesn't care," I told her.

"I asked her. She said okay." Our daughter grinned at us before running back to the living room.

"What just happened?" Edward chuckled, drying his hands and pulling me to him.

"I think we're kid-free for the first time in…I can't remember." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

He laughed and slipped his hands in my back pockets. "So…should we…go to bed early or do laundry?"

"Let's go out," I said with a shrug.

"Really?" He pulled back and eyed me speculatively.

"Why not? It's Friday night. We don't have to stay out too late."

"I'm sold." Edward tapped my ass lightly and stepped away so we could tell everyone goodbye.

Twenty minutes later we'd dropped my car off at home and were walking into Newton's hand-in-hand, being greeted by people we hadn't seen in months. We took two stools at the bar and ordered drinks: a beer for Edward and a rum and Coke for me. Edward winked at Jessica as she dropped our drinks off and she glared teasingly. I assumed it was something that had to do with his late nights here and figured she was on my side about the situation.

"So," he said as he turned to me and trapped my thighs between his. "Seth seems like he's having fun."

I shrugged. "I think Mom wishes he'd settle down. She worries about him traveling so much."

"He's a big boy," Edward laughed. "She just wants everyone married off."

"Well, she wants him to be happy."

"Seth seems very happy, don't worry about him." Edward reached out and tapped my chin up with his index finger.

"I don't," I muttered.

"You do." He smiled and kissed me gently. "You love to worry."

"My one fatal flaw," I said against his lips, grinning.

"Nah," Edward replied quietly and kissed me again.

"Get a room!" a loud voice said from behind us. We turned to see Jared grinning from a few stools away.

Edward laughed and squeezed my thigh before turning to him. "Sorry, bro," he said teasingly as he shook Jared's hand.

"Didn't you guys just see each other a few hours ago? Maybe _you_ should get a room," I taunted them. Jared rolled his eyes and gestured for us to follow him to a booth where his girlfriend Kim was waiting. She smiled in greeting as we took our seats, only to be joined by another couple we didn't know and a couple more of the guys that worked for Edward.

It was nice to see Edward surrounded by people that so obviously cared about him and respected him. He smiled and laughed while we drank and talked to everyone, his hand tight in mine the whole time. After about an hour, I yawned. I tried to be discreet, but Edward caught it.

"Tired?" he asked with his lips to my temple.

I nodded. "Take me home, Teddy," I whispered.

"Yeah, take her home, Teddy," Jared said from across the table.

Edward flipped him the bird, though he was grinning and pulled me out of the booth with him. We took a quiet cab ride home and made it to the house quickly. It wasn't very late, just like I'd promised. Of course, I had been the one to fold first, but that was nothing new. I was never one for late nights, not even when we were younger. Any time I went out I always ended the night with Edward, though. That was something that would never change.

"_Thanks for picking me up," I said as I buckled my seatbelt and looked over at Edward. He grunted and threw his truck into drive. I sighed. "I'm sorry I woke you up." _

"_It's fine, babe. I wouldn't want you to drive if you've been drinking," he muttered as we pulled onto the highway, going back to Forks from First Beach. I'd been at a party with some friends, but Edward had to work early. It had been a little over a year since his father's death, but the garage continued to thrive under Edward's care. _

"_Charlie wouldn't have been too happy about that," I said quietly._

"_Probably not," he replied. _

"_And I missed you a little," I whispered. Edward chuckled quietly and reached his hand over, palm up. I slid my hand into his and laced our fingers together. _

"_I'm sorry. Things have been crazy lately, huh?" _

"_Between you working and me working and classes…I feel like I never see you," I sighed. _

"_Maybe we can do something next weekend, go to Seattle and stay the night or something? If your parents don't care." _

"_I'm nineteen, Edward." I rolled my eyes. _

"_Still, I don't want to piss them off." _

"_Please, they'd rather have you as a kid than me," I snorted. Edward squeezed my hand and laughed quietly. _

"_Well, that would just put us in an awkward situation, wouldn't it?" _

"_You are so gross, Teddy." I wrinkled my nose and pulled my hand from his. _

_He grinned and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. _

"_Can you pull over?" I asked after a moment. _

"_Are you going to be sick?"_

"_Just pull over, please?" I pleaded. _

"_Please don't puke in my truck, Leah. That smell never comes out all the way!" _

"_Edward! Pull over!" _

"_Hold on, woman," he muttered and drove until he found a little service road. He sighed as he came to a stop and put the truck in park. "You okay?" _

"_Yes." I undid my seatbelt and slid across the seat to him. _

"_What are you doing?" He eyed me warily, his face lit up by the light from the dashboard: hair tousled from sleep and tired eyes, but still very much the boy I loved. _

"_Not missing you," I murmured as I slid into his lap, though it was a tight squeeze between his body and the steering wheel. _

"_Really?" He asked. "Right here?" _

"_Yes," I breathed with my lips against his cheek. I wrapped my arms around his neck and bit down on his earlobe lightly. _

"_Well, I can't argue with that," Edward whispered and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer against him. _

_I laughed and kissed his neck before running my hands down his chest and yanking his t-shirt over his head. He let his hands slide up my thighs to my barely-there shorts and, as his gaze caught mine, my stomach filled with butterflies. _

"_I love you," he said. It was quiet, just a statement of truth and something I never tired of hearing. _

_I smiled and kissed him as his hands moved over my body, touching gently, warming my skin and causing goosebumps to erupt all over. He tugged my shirt over my head, and then it and my bra joined his shirt on the floorboard of the passenger side. Edward shifted, pushing me back a little as his lips met the skin under my neck and traveled slowly down. _

_My fingers wound themselves into his hair just as I leaned back against the steering wheel. The horn honked loudly and we broke apart. _

"_Oops," Edward laughed. He pushed me off of him and we moved across the bench until there was no more annoying steering column to impede us. I climbed back into his lap, my arms tight around him, kissing him with purpose until we were both panting loudly, pressing our bodies together in the dark. _

"_Take these off. Now," he commanded in a low voice that made me whimper in anticipation. I managed to shimmy out of my shorts and underwear before he was pulling me back to him. He wasted no time in wrapping one hand around the back of my neck and slipping the other between my legs. I gasped against his lips as my hips rocked against his hand. He moved faster, until his fingers were curling and pressing and warmth had spread across my skin. I broke away from his kiss, crying out and tugging at his hair. I dropped my head to his shoulder and he kissed my temple. _

_I pulled back and let my hands roam his chest before slipping them into his gym shorts. He lifted his hips and I slid them off before settling myself against him, skin to skin. _

"_Wait," he said breathlessly, keeping one hand on my waist and reaching over to the glove compartment. He rustled around for a moment and then groaned, though I didn't know if it was out of frustration or because I had slipped my fingers around him and was slowly moving my hand up and down. _

"_What's wrong?" I murmured, pressed a kiss under his ear. His hips bucked and he groaned again. _

"_I didn't bring my wallet." _

"_You don't have to pay me," I joked, tightening my grip. _

"_No, _fuck, _keep doing that – I don't have any condoms," he leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. His jaw flexed and I grinned. _

"_But I want you," I said, leaning forward and brushing my lips against his. "Now. All of you." _

"_I mean, the feeling is mutual but…" he trailed off, letting his eyes fall between us where I was still gripping him. "Mmph."_

_I chuckled and relinquished my hold on him, then lifted myself up and braced my hands on the back of the seat. I kissed his chin and then his nose and I grinned as his hands moved. One was bracing my waist and the other guiding himself to me with his eyes on my face. I met his eyes and watched his face as he filled me. His eyes closed slightly and he pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth. _

_A sigh fell from my lips as I slipped my hands from the back of the seat and cupped his face. I pressed my lips to him and lifted my hips, eliciting a low grunt that came from Edward's chest, when I slowly sank back down. His hands went to my waist, lifting and guiding me over him. I let him control the pace, reveling in the way he pressed himself up and deeper; enjoying the little whispers that fell from his lips or how his mouth felt on my skin. _

_We moved quickly, our chests pressed together, our skin meeting loudly. My nails dug into his shoulders as he shifted further down in the seat and wrapped his arms around my back, clutching at my shoulders tightly. _

_I could feel that warm, familiar burn again, as our rhythm changed. My hips rolled, creating unbelievable friction. Edward tugged me closer, his arms tight around me and his head rested on my shoulder. It was a frantic, jagged pace that brought us to the edge, holding each other and crying out loudly. _

_After a moment of catching our breath I smoothed Edward's sweaty hair from his face and kissed him gently. _

"_The things I do for you, I swear," he muttered, shaking his head as his lips gently brushed back and forth against mine. _

"_More like the things you do _to_ me," I teased, nipping at his chin. _

_He groaned and leaned his head against the back of the seat. "I have to be at work in five hours," Edward said as he glanced at the clock on the dash. _

"_You should sleep great after that," I told him as I slipped off his lap and fished around for our clothes. His reply was a smack to my ass and then his fingers digging into my ribs. I screamed with laughter and tried to push him away, but it was no use. _

_We were ridiculously in love, there was no doubt about that. Of course, neither one of us could have known how that night would change our lives forever. _

"You okay?" Edward's voice startled me and I realized we were standing in our bedroom.

"Fine. Just tired," I lied, trying not to think about that night and what had happened in the aftermath: all the good and the bad that we were living with now.

Edward's hands rested on my shoulders and he sighed. "You're tense, babe."

"I'll be fine," I muttered and stepped away from him.

"I'll run you a bath. Maybe that will help?" he said quietly before slipping off to the bathroom.

"Thank you," I said after him. A few moments later I slipped into the tub and Edward brought me a glass of wine and one for himself. He sat, leaned against the tub and turned his face to mine, smiling.

"Better?" he asked. I nodded and sank into the bubbles, willing myself to relax. "What were you thinking about?"

I felt my face flush at his question. "Remember that night you picked me up from the beach party?"

The tips of his ears turned pink. "How could I forget?"

"I always thought about…how I was supposed to tell my son he was conceived in the front of an F150," I said to my wineglass. To my surprise, Edward laughed.

"Or your daughter she was conceived on the kitchen floor?" he grinned. I covered my burning face with my hand, splattering it with soap in the process.

"We really have no self-control," I laughed as Edward wiped soap from my face.

"Well, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, I can't help it," my husband said before gently kissing me.

"Shut up," I whispered and pushed him away.

He chuckled softly and resumed his position against the tub. "It's okay, that's why we have the stories, you know?"

"I love the stories," I told him as I reached out and ran my wet fingers through the hair at the back of his neck.

"My dad started them, did you know that?" he asked as he sipped his wine.

"No. You never told me. What were you?" I sat up in the water and brought my knees to my chest, so my face was close to his. Edward turned to me, his eyes lit up with happiness at the memory of his father.

"A ray of sunshine." He smiled. "Emmett was the notes to mom's favorite song…and Alice was her favorite color. I think that maybe Dad couldn't really come up with anything by the time Alice came along," he joked, but I was too busy reveling in his smile.

"_How are you, Leah?" Carlisle voice was quiet and strained. He set his paper down on the coffee table and patted the cushion next to him. I sat, though gingerly, afraid I would hurt him – he looked so frail these days. _

"_I'm good." I nodded and smiled. _

"_Is Edward being good to you?" he asked. _

_I laughed. The thought of Edward not being good to me was ludicrous. "Of course!" _

" _He had better be," Carlisle threatened, though he was smiling. "You're good for him, too, Leah. Like a little bit of sunshine in his life." _

"_Well." I felt tears well up in my eyes at his kind words. "I feel the same way about him." _

Edward was quiet for a long moment, his brow furrowed while he stared at his wine glass.

"What's wrong?" I cupped the back of his neck and he turned his face to mine.

"Nothing, just thinking." He shrugged.

"About..?" I urged.

"Everything." Edward closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.

"Do you need a bath, too?" I asked playfully.

"What?" He pulled away, letting his guard down just enough for me to tug him up and over the edge of the tub. Water splashed around us as he tumbled into the water fully clothed, laughing and sputtering. "Evil woman," he muttered, pulling me to him and kissing me roughly.

I smiled against his lips, though more about the little breakthrough we'd had than anything else.

It didn't matter how little that breakthrough was. I'd take anything I could get.


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Stephenie owns the names and so on. **

**killerlashes and ThatIsRiddik take care of me (and you). **

**Sorry for the long wait, real life and things and stuff...you know. **

**Thanks to all of you for sticking around, it does things to my heart. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Eleven<p>

"What do you want to do today?" Edward asked as his fingers trailed up my bare back. I sighed at the feeling of his skin on mine. After I'd pulled him into the tub with me, things had gotten incredibly and amazingly out of hand.

"Aren't we already doing it?" I whispered, wrapping my arm around his neck and pulling myself closer to him.

"If that's what you want," he laughed quietly.

The doorbell rang and he groaned before nuzzling my head.

"Never mind." I pouted and kissed him gently before rolling away from him and sitting up. "It's probably Seth bringing Carrie home."

"Yeah, I think he's probably had his fill," Edward joked as he pulled on his a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"I'll be right out," I told him as I quickly dressed and brushed my teeth. I found Edward in the kitchen with Seth and Caroline. Caroline was sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee grasped in her little hands. I frowned at Edward, but he just shrugged.

_What? _he mouthed. I rolled my eyes and took the cup from my daughter, examining it: milk and sugar with a splash of coffee.

"Did you guys have fun?" I turned to my brother after making my own coffee.

Seth yawned and eyed Caroline, who was quietly whispering things to Edward. He bent his head to her and wrapped an unruly curl around his finger, and I felt myself smile as I watched them.

"She's like a vampire or something. Never sleeps," he said with another yawn. "I am dog-tired thanks to this kid."

"You've just got to know how to handle her advanced five-year-old psyche," Edward teased as he helped our daughter off the counter. "Go get dressed, baby."

"Mind if I steal your wife today?" Seth turned to Edward, who was getting things out to make breakfast.

"By all means," he replied with a wave of his hand.

"Gee, thanks," I teased him sarcastically. He blew me a kiss and started cracking eggs into a frying pan.

"Love you, babe." Edward winked at me and Seth chuckled.

"Uh huh." I went to him quickly and pulled his face to mine. "Be good," I said before kissing him gently.

Edward smiled against my lips and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"You too," he murmured before releasing me.

I slipped out of the house and into Seth's car. He grinned as I closed the door and buckled my seatbelt.

"Where are we going?" I asked as he pulled out of the driveway.

Seth shrugged. "I don't know. Somewhere," he said with a grin in my direction.

Laughing, I leaned back against my seat, content with whatever he had in mind.

EPOV

"Daddy? Can I go on the monkey bars?" Caroline looked up at me, her dark eyes squinting against the sun.

"Finish your sandwich first, monkey," I told her, pointing at what was left of her peanut butter and jelly. After Leah left, Caroline and I had breakfast and hung around the house for a little while. When we got bored of that, we packed some sandwiches for lunch and headed to the park in our neighborhood.

It wasn't often we got to spend the day together. Sometimes I worked on weekends or she had some kind of play-date or whatever else five-year-olds did. So, with Leah off with her brother, we'd decided to make the most of it.

"It's just the crust, Daddy." She pouted expertly and I laughed.

"Okay, Sweet. Be careful, I'll be right here." I hadn't finished my sentence before she was off running toward the playground equipment. I followed her and sat on a bench that was close to where she was but far enough to not be completely overbearing.

A few minutes passed before a little boy ran by the bench and a person joined me at the other end. As the boy turned and waved I realized it was Noah, the little boy from the garage: the little boy who'd sent me into an emotional tailspin.

"Hi," I heard from beside me. I turned to see her, Noah's mother, the very woman I'd lied to about my son.

"Oh, hey," I greeted her with a nervous smile. She smiled back warmly and held out her hand.

"I'm Rosalie," she said as I shook her hand.

"Edward," I replied.

"I know. I, uh…I actually work with your wife, Leah."

My stomach dropped. _Fuck. _

"You're a teacher?" I asked and cleared my suddenly tight throat. Knowing how things got around the school gossip grapevine, I was sure she would know someone who knew the truth about him. About Eli.

"Yeah, I'm the new English teacher," Rosalie said with a smile and then turned her attention to the playground. "Is that your little girl?"

I smiled and followed her gaze. "Yeah."

"I saw her picture on Leah's desk. She's beautiful."

I raised a wry eyebrow at Caroline, gleefully hanging upside down, My Little Pony panties on display for the whole world to see. "She's something else," I laughed.

"I'm sorry about the other day, Edward. I was very forward. I'm like that sometimes. I spoke with Leah that same day…" she trailed off, her voice soft.

"It's okay, Rosalie." I held up my hand to stop her. "You just…caught me off guard."

"I'm sorry," she apologized again and I nodded.

"Me too," I told her, smiling.

"Daddy!" Caroline called and waved to me from the top of the jungle gym. I laughed and waved back. We didn't speak for a long time, just sat and watched the two of them together. It made my heart ache in such a way that I hadn't felt in some time. Watching Caroline with Noah only reminded me of Eli- of everything they'd done together and how much they loved each other.

"Look at her smile. It's gorgeous," Rosalie murmured softly.

"Takes after her mother," I joked.

"You guys got married young, huh?" she turned to me with curiosity glinting in her eyes.

"I was twenty. Leah was nineteen," I explained. "We grew up together. My brother is actually married to her sister. Leah and I were married first, though."

"Talk about a small town!" Rosalie laughed.

I grinned. "We like to keep it in the family."

"So, were you high school sweethearts and all that?"

I shook my head and turned to her. "No. It wasn't like that…I think I was always in love with her, though. I was at Stanford when my father got sick, so I moved back and..."

"And that's it?"

"Oh, hell no. She made me work for it," I laughed.

Rosalie laughed with me. "Is your daughter like Leah? I saw some of her work at school. She's amazing, really."

I took a deep breath. "She is, actually. Very artistic and creative. She loves to draw and make things. Eli was…he was incredibly literal. Everything had to have a reason or explanation with him. He loved to learn about how things work," I explained without missing a beat.

It took a moment for the feeling to sink in. The lightheadedness and the pit in my stomach. The feeling that came with his name. The feeling that came with the fact that I'd actually _said _his name.

It had been so long since I'd even said his name that it felt foreign falling from my lips. Guilt followed that feeling because I shouldn't have been talking to a complete stranger.

I should have been talking to my wife.

I should have been telling her how amazing and perfect our son was.

I should have been comforting her.

But I wasn't…and I couldn't. Not yet.

Rosalie didn't say anything for a long moment, but I was grateful for the silence. I took the opportunity to get lost in my own thoughts, to explore the fact that _maybe_ it was time for something to happen.

"Daddy! Can we get ice cream?" Caroline threw herself at me excitedly, ending my conversation with Rosalie before it had really even started.

"Sure, Sweet." I stood and lifted her into my arms. "Would you like to join us?" I asked Rosalie. She smiled warmly at me and then at Caroline.

"Maybe next time," she said before holding out her hand again. "It was nice to see you. Please tell Leah I said hello."

"I will," I promised before taking Caroline's hand and letting her lead the way home.

After we had ice cream at a little shop across from my mother's bakery, Caroline and I slipped into the old movie theater for a matinee. It was an older movie I'd watched as a kid about two dogs and a cat that were lost. I figured the antics would get a laugh out of her, and I was mostly right.

Toward the end she gripped my hand tightly and I heard her little intake of breath. When I looked down at her, her eyes were glistening with tears.

"What's wrong, baby?" I leaned closer and whispered to her.

"I want to go home, Daddy," she whispered back.

Quickly, I lifted her into my arms and carried her out of the theater. It wasn't until I was buckling her into the backseat did she finally speak.

"I'm sorry," Caroline said quietly.

"Why are you sorry, sweet girl?" I asked, tipping her chin to me.

"I got scared."

I frowned. "Why were you scared?"

"I thought that the dog was going to die. I don't like when that happens," she said to her fingers.

My heart stopped for just a second. _My poor baby. _Leah and I weren't the only ones who were still grieving. "I'm sorry you were scared," I told her before kissing her head. "You want to go home?"

"Yes. I want to see Mama."

We rode in silence the whole way home. I wasn't sure if Leah would be home yet, and was a little worried about how Caroline would react to that. I was right, but my daughter was fine when we got home. Instead of being upset, she made me put in _Tangled_ and curled up against my side on the couch.

She was asleep by the end credits and I eyed my phone sitting on the arm of the couch. Leah still wasn't home, but I wasn't worried about her. My mind was somewhere else.

Tentatively, I picked up the phone and dialed my brother. He answered on the first ring.

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's nice to hear from you too," I replied dryly.

"Sorry, bro. We just got back to our hotel. Andrew's asleep and Bella's chasing Sami around the room like a friggin' chicken her head cut off," he said as he tried not to laugh. I could hear Bella yelling in the background, no doubt swearing at Emmett.

"Did you give her one of those big lollipops?" I asked.

"And about a liter of soda," he laughed. "I've got Father of the Year locked up. I'm stepping outside!" Emmett called. There were some muffled voices and a slamming door before he was back on the line. "What's up?"

I sighed and looked down at my own daughter asleep on my lap. I ran a hand through her curly hair and mustered up all the courage I had.

"I need your help."

xXx

LPOV

"Call me in a few days and let me know where you are, okay?" I told Seth before slipping out of his car. He nodded.

"I will. Take care of yourself, Leah. And them," Seth said with a look toward my house.

I smiled. "I will."

I gave him one last hug and slammed the door behind me. Quickly, I made it inside and found Edward and Caroline in the living room.

"Hi," I greeted him with a kiss to the top of his messy hair.

"Hey." He smiled up at me.

"Did you guys have a fun day?" I asked as I knelt in front of the couch and smoothed Caroline's hair away from her cheek.

"Something like that," Edward replied. "Can we talk?"

"Of course," I told him, watching with wary eyes as he gently removed our daughter's head from his lap and then held out his hand. I took it and let him lead me into the kitchen where I quickly poured a glass of water, more for myself to hold than anything else.

"How was your day with Seth?" he asked.

"Good. Really good. I missed him."

"I know." Edward smiled and leaned against the counter. "I talked to Emmett about-"

"Lawyer Emmett or your brother Emmett?" I interrupted.

"My brother," he replied with a slight eye-roll. "I just…I need to do something, Leah. I can't keep living this way. _We _can't keep living this way."

"What way?" I barely scraped a whisper past the lump in my throat.

"Halfway," Edward said softly.

"Edward…"

"What was the last thing you said to Eli?" he asked, the suddenness of his subject change causing me to gasp quietly. It had been months since I'd heard Eli's name fall from my husband's lips.

It took me a moment to answer, and then I smiled. "I told him I loved him. That he was the most perfect little boy I could have asked for."

Edward smiled back at me sadly. "I told him to get me a screwdriver. He asked if he could help me fix whatever I was working on and I sent him into the garage alone and-"

"It wasn't your fault, Edward." I set my water down and crossed the room quickly. I took his face in my hands and brought his gaze to mine. "We couldn't have known that would happen, he'd been doing so well and-"

"_I_ should have been there!" he whispered loudly and pressed his forehead to mine. "_I_ should have known."

"Teddy, you couldn't have." I stroked his face and stepped closer to him. "We thought the meds were helping. He hadn't had one in so long…"

The words hurt coming out, the memory of that day still so fresh in my mind. It was painful, like thousands of shards of glass embedded in my skin. We'd known Eli was epileptic very early on and had tried different medications for years. After he had a seizure at school, we'd decided to reevaluate and try something new.

Everything was fine until _that _day.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down before pulling away from him. Edward gripped my hips tightly and kept his eyes closed.

"I need help, Leah. I can't walk around with this guilt and this anger toward…"

"Everything?"

"You noticed?"

"Not all the time, no," I said quietly as I slipped out of his grip. "Some things I see. I feel. I know you better than you think."

He smiled. "No. I know exactly how well you know me. Believe me."

I picked up my water and sipped it slowly, avoiding his gaze. "What do you want to do?"

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. Emmett knows of a doctor here in town…maybe I should stay with my mom for a while-"

The words were barely out of his mouth before my brain had processed them and my body reacted. I didn't even notice my hands were shaking until the glass had fallen from them and shattered at my feet, cold water and shards of broken glass going everywhere.

"Leah?" Edward crossed the kitchen quickly and took my face in his hands.

"No."

"What do you mean?"

"No," I repeated. "You can't. You can't leave."

"But if it helps…"

"It won't!" I cried, fisting his shirt and feeling tears sting my eyes. "It won't help. Not if we're not together!"

"Babe-"

"Don't. Don't you fucking try to sweet-talk me, Edward Cullen. We are in this _together_ one hundred percent, whether you like it or not," I said as I pushed him away.

We stared at each other across the kitchen for a long moment before he finally nodded.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even said it."

"No, you shouldn't have." I crossed my arms in from of my chest and glared at him.

"Mama? Why are you yelling? Are you angry?" Caroline's sleepy voice startled me, ripping through the fog of anger that had quickly consumed me.

"No, I'm not," I said to her as gently as I could through my clenched teeth. She stepped toward me, but Edward held out his arm.

"Don't come in here, Sweet. Daddy broke a glass," he said with a glance toward me.

"Come on." I stepped over the glass and held my hand out to her. "Let's get ready for bed."

I found Edward in our bedroom after I put Caroline to bed. He was sitting on the edge of the bed in a pair of pajama pants, staring at his feet. Edward looked up when he saw me, and I felt my heart constrict at the sadness in his eyes.

His pain was my pain, after all.

I undressed silently and slipped into one of Edward's old t-shirts before I finally turned, only to find him right behind me.

Edward was quick to take me in his arms and press his lips to my hair.

"I don't know why I thought it would be easier. Maybe I just felt that you were tired of being like this, too."

"I want us to get through this, Teddy. And we will. I know we will. But we'll do it together. We're better that way. We always have been," I said to his chest.

"I know," he said before pressing his lips to mine gently. "I know."

We held each other for a long time, just standing in the middle of our room before he finally led us toward our bed. My heart still ached at the fact that he thought he would be better off– that _we_ would be better off– working through this alone.

Underneath that ache though, was something different. Something I hadn't felt for some time. There was a light at the end of the tunnel connected to the steps we were taking.

I could see it there: a little glimmer of hope.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Oh, hey. Stephenie owns them. **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes are pretty. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Twelve<p>

"_I guess I just don't understand," I mumbled and stared at the ceiling. I heard Edward sigh and felt the bed shift. He sat up, crossing his legs in front of him and placing his hands in his lap. I'd asked him the same thing at least five times since we'd crawled into bed, even though we'd already decided that he was staying put. _

"_I just feel so selfish, Leah. Like I can't take care of you, or give you what you need. I can't even talk about our son without heading into a tailspin. I need to be able to do these things for you…like you've always done for me." _

"_You do the best you can, Edward," I said as I sat up and touched his arm gently. He leaned closer and I rested my head against the smooth skin of his shoulder. _

"_I don't. Not enough," he whispered. "I love you so much. I want to be able to take care of you and Caroline. One hundred percent." _

"_But why would you want to leave?" I asked quietly, closing my eyes and listening to his steady breathing. It soothed me more than I could possibly ever tell him. _

"_Maybe I thought it would be easier. I just have so much guilt, and when I see you and Carrie upset or sad…it just multiplies." _

"_We'll get through it. I know we will." _

_Edward turned to me, lips searching and meeting mine gently. He slipped his arm around me and pulled me back down against the pillows, ending our conversation for the time being. _

I rolled slightly, not at all surprised to find that the warm body next to mine wasn't my husband's. I smiled and let my finger run down the slope of Caroline's nose, her delicate and timeless features so like those of Edward and Esme. She was beautiful. Edward always said she looked like me, but as I watched her sleeping I only saw him.

"Hi, Mama," she said sleepily as she rolled onto her back and stretched.

"Good morning, sunshine," I replied, kissing her loudly. Caroline giggled and yawned. "How did you get in here?"

"Daddy woked me up and told me to come and cuddle." She held out her arms and I pulled her against me.

"Was he going to work?"

"I don't think so. He wasn't wearing the shirt with his name on it," Caroline answered as she burrowed deeper into the covers.

"Okay." I kissed her head and closed my eyes. We drifted like that for a while, until I heard the front door close and Edward's footsteps down the hall.

"Hey," he greeted me with a kiss to my forehead.

"Where've you been?" I yawned.

"I went for a run," Edward explained as he stripped off his shirt and headed for the bathroom.

"Hm. Maybe you can take my place with Bella," I teased. Edward laughed good-naturedly.

"I don't think I could handle that," he replied. "I'm going to shower and we can go to breakfast or something."

Caroline and I dressed while Edward was in the shower, and found ourselves in a booth at my mother's diner soon after. We didn't even order, Mom just brought our plates loaded with our favorites.

We talked and ate, listening to Caroline's stories: her fears about kindergarten, what she wanted to do over the summer. It was a little startling that we'd come to the end of the school year already. We were already halfway through May, our daughter and niece would be graduating preschool soon, Alice and Jasper would be married at the beginning of June…sometimes it felt like was moving too fast.

Other times, like the previous night in my kitchen, it felt like we were at a complete standstill.

"Is your sister coming for dinner tonight?" I asked after we'd finished eating.

"Yes. Be prepared for incredibly annoying wedding talk." He rolled his eyes.

"Weddings aren't annoying, Daddy. They're fun!" Caroline chastised him.

"How do you know? You've never been to one," Edward laughed.

"Well, Aunt Alice said I get to be the flower girl and wear a pretty dress so that sounds like fun…right?"

"Do I get to wear a pretty dress?"

"Daddy!" Caroline giggled. Edward smiled and sipped his coffee, his eyes meeting mine over his mug.

I smiled back, relieved that he was doing so well after our conversation. Edward had been so sincere in his declaration that part of me knew I shouldn't have been worried. Of course, there was always that little part that would doubt- that was afraid to be happy.

Edward was happy, though. And somehow, when Edward was happy _everything_ else was right with the world.

I thought about that while I watched him tease our daughter, and a sad realization hit me. I'd been doing exactly what he'd said for so long. Always taking care of him. I couldn't help it, though. The thought of Edward hurting or being sad broke my heart, it always had.

"What do you think, Leah?" Edward asked, his voice pulling me from my trance.

"Hm?" I turned to him, noticing that Caroline had slipped into his lap. He rested his chin on the top of her head and they smiled matching smiles.

"Can we go to Disneyland for Daddy's birthday? He really wants to go," she explained.

I bit back my laugh and raised an eyebrow at Edward. He just shrugged and kissed the top of our daughter's head.

"Yeah, I think we can do that. As long as Daddy is really, _really_ good until then."

Caroline pulled back to glare at her father.

"I'll do my best," Edward vowed and pretended to cross his heart.

"You better," she muttered and went back to doodling on a napkin in front of her with a pen my mother had given her.

Edward turned to me with an amused look on his face and I laughed quietly. He pointed from her to me and mouthed, _Just like you_.

I grinned and nodded, resting my chin in my hand.

"You love it," I whispered.

"Of course," Edward said with a chuckle. "You ladies finished here? I think a trip to the art supply store is in order."

Both Caroline and I turned to him, eyes wide with excitement.

"Can we get new paints? And pastels?"

"I need another sketch book. And maybe some canvas…"

Caroline and I chattered excitedly about new art supplies while Edward led us to his truck.

"Thank you," I said quietly once we were on our way. He smiled and reached for my hand.

"Anything," he whispered back before kissing the back of my hand.

At the store Edward walked around with us and held all of our purchases, like always. He had always been supportive of my art, whether it was just a silly drawing or something more serious, like when I'd decided to be a teacher.

It hurt that he thought he didn't take care of me, because he did in so many different ways.

"Is that everything?" Edward asked as we piled stuff up on the counter.

"No. There are still a few things left on the shelves," I teased.

"Funny," he muttered as he pulled out his debit card. "We'll be living on ramen noodles and water for the next month."

"I like ramen!" Caroline said excitedly.

I glared at Edward in a _now look what you've done_ way.

"I'm just kidding, Sweet," Edward explained as the clerk bagged our purchases.

"Aw, darn." She pouted. He handed her the smaller bag and let her lead the way out of the shop.

I took Edward's hand as we made our way down the little row of shops while Caroline skipped in front of us. People smiled as they saw her, brown curls bouncing with her steps.

Edward's hand gripped mine tightly and I tore my gaze away from Caroline to look at him. His jaw was clenched as he glanced at me sidelong.

"What-"

"Hey!" Edward plastered a smile on his face and I turned to see a couple and a young boy coming toward.

"Hi, guys!" Lauren Crowley greeted us enthusiastically as her husband stood smiling beside her. I squeezed Edward's hand tighter and smiled at my friend.

My friend I hadn't seen in months because her little boy was the same age as Eli.

"How've you been?" Edward reached out with his free hand to shake Tyler's and Caroline suddenly attached herself to Edward's side.

"Good." Tyler nodded. "We're getting some stuff for TJ's birthday," he said as he mussed the little boy's blond hair.

"The party is next weekend, you guys should stop by. I'm sure everyone would love to see you," Lauren said with a soft smile.

Edward turned to me, his green eyes silently communicating with mine. I nodded.

"Yeah. Sounds good," my husband replied with a smile. "Just give us a call with the details."

"We will." Lauren grinned and reached down to take TJ's hand. "We'll see you soon then!" They waved and walked away and released Edward's hand to extract Caroline from his leg.

"C'mon, baby. Let's go home and crack open those new paints," I said as Edward reached down and took the bag from her hand and then took her little hand in his.

"Sounds like a great idea. I think my office needs some new decorations from my favorite girls," he told us while we made our way back to the car.

"Okay," Caroline replied quietly.

I sighed once we got into the car and Edward cast a worried glance into the backseat. I reached over and rested my hand on the back of his neck, my fingers trailing lightly in the short hair there. We were quiet on the drive home, letting the radio fill the silence. Once we got home, Caroline went straight to her room instead of going through our new supplies.

Edward found me leaning against the dining room table after I'd unloaded everything. He placed his hands on my shoulders and I leaned back against him, enjoying the warmth of his body pressed against mine. I pulled his arms around me and closed my eyes.

"Sometimes I think I forget that she was affected as much as we were," he said softly. I felt my eyes burn with tears as I nodded in silent response. "I'll talk to her."

"Are you sure?" I asked, turning to him and brushing his hair off his forehead.

"Yeah," Edward replied and kissed me gently. "You…paint me a picture or something." He grinned. "No landscapes, though."

I pretended to pout and pushed him away, hoping he would be able to bring Caroline out of her funk.

EPOV

"Hey, sweet girl," I said quietly as I pushed Caroline's bedroom door open.

"Hi," she whispered, not looking up from brushing her doll's hair. I sat on the floor next to her and took the doll from her hands. "Do we have to go to TJ's party?"

"Well, we don't have to. Not if you don't want to," I told her and smoothed a hand over her curls.

"TJ was Eli's friend," she whispered. I sighed and pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms tight around her. I thought about the conversation I'd had with Leah the night before about how I wanted to get help for myself.

As I sat there with my daughter sad and broken in my arms, I knew that the help wasn't for me.

It was for _them_.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**SM owns the names and stuff and things and other stuff. **

**killerlashes and ThatIsRiddik are lovelygreatawesomeyay! :)**

**Thank you all for sticking around. I can tell you that I'm looking to wrap this up in 20 chapters, so there's that and that's all. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter 13<p>

I sighed and glanced at my watch, then around the small office again. After I rubbed my sweaty palms against my pants for what seemed like the millionth time, I finally stood up and started to pace the room. I'd made my third round when I noticed a cluster of pictures on a bookshelf by the door. Just as I reached out to pick one up, the door opened.

"Hi! You must be Edward! I'm running a bit late, I'm sorry!" a tall, willowy blonde woman said in a rush. She had a slight southern accent and bright blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when she smiled and shook my hand. "I'm Dr. Murphy. You can call me Kate."

"It's no big deal," I said before turning back to the pictures that had captured my attention. "Is this…you know Rose?"

"I do know her." Kate smiled. "Do you?"

"She works with my wife, actually," I explained meeting her curious gaze.

"Rose is my…better half, for lack of a better term," she said with a small shrug.

"Oh. _Oh._" I could feel my eyes widen as her words sunk in.

Kate laughed quietly and gestured the overstuffed chair I'd been sitting in. I sat and clasped my hands in my lap to keep them from shaking.

"Edward," she said softly, as she leaned forward. "I can assure you, anything you say in this room is between you and me."

I blew out a puff of air and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

"Tell me about yourself." She leaned back in her chair and smiled warmly at me.

"Where should I start?" I asked with a nervous laugh.

"Oh, I don't know, how about…the happiest day of your life," Kate prompted.

I smiled. "That's easy. The day I found out I was going to be a father."

xXx

I gently pushed myself through the crowd of students, feeling lighter than I had in a few weeks. It felt weird to be back in the hallways of Forks High, not that I didn't remember my time there fondly, but when I usually came to see Leah I met her in the parking lot. I hadn't been around students in a long time. I stepped inside her classroom and nearly ran into a freshman.

"Hi, Mr. Cullen," the girl giggled and slipped by me, blushing furiously.

Leah crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. "I can practically smell the estrogen wafting down the hall." She wrinkled her nose and met me in the middle of her classroom.

I laughed. "Gross, babe."

"I mean it, Edward. They think you're hot," she teased.

"And they told you that?" I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her against me.

"No, I read it on the bathroom wall." Leah smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth.

"Mrs. Cope wrote it," I murmured before capturing her lips with my own.

"Now who's gross?" she chuckled and pushed me away. I smiled and took a seat on one of the stools and pulled her between my legs.

"Still you." I smiled. Leah placed her hands on either side of my face and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes at the feeling of her lips on my skin. The past week had been a rollercoaster of emotions, but Leah was right: we were better together.

"How'd it go?" she asked quietly.

I pulled her closer and pressed my lips to her cheek. "It went…okay."

"Okay," she echoed, wrapping her arms around my neck and resting her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a long moment, silent. I knew she wanted to ask me more about my first session with Kate; I could practically feel her skin vibrating with curiosity. But she didn't ask, she just let me hold her until the bell on her classroom door jingled and we broke apart.

"Clearwater, you want anything– oh. Hey, Cullen," Jacob Black greeted me with a brief nod.

"Jake," I muttered and stood up.

"I was just going to see if you wanted anything for lunch. I think some of us are going to order out," he explained with his eyes on my wife.

"No, I'm good. Thanks." Leah smiled. Jacob nodded and closed the door, leaving us alone again.

"What's with the face?" Leah asked, pinching my cheek.

I frowned. "He called you _Clearwater_."

"So? He's called me that everyday of my life," she said with a laugh.

"Well," I replied with a tap to the nametag she wore. "That's not your name, is it?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "He doesn't mean anything by it."

"Uh huh."

"You're cute when you're jealous." She leaned up to kiss me. I let her, of course.

"Hot. You said I was hot."

"Very hot. You'd better leave before my seniors get here. They're still jailbait." Leah gave me a gentle shove toward the door.

"Fine," I sighed and swiped up a college brochure from one of her tables.. "I'm going to pick Caroline up early and take her to the park."

My wife smiled. "She'll like that. Have fun."

"Oh! I need to tell you something about…never mind." I frowned when I heard students outside the door.

"What?" she asked.

"Later," I promised, kissing her quickly, and pulled away just as her next class started to file in. I slipped out of the room and off campus to go and pick up my daughter. While it had been a decent week for Leah and me, our little girl was still hurting. She'd been quiet and withdrawn after our run-in with Lauren and Tyler, so I'd called to tell them we wouldn't be able to make it to the party.

We found that simply being with her, spending time alone, reading or talking or just doing whatever she wanted, was good for her.

We spent a good hour at the park, until Caroline's curls were sweaty and stuck to her face.

"Full blast, Daddy!" she yelled from the backseat. I laughed and turned the AC on high and pointed all the vents on her. She closed her eyes and let the air blow her hair all around all the way home.

"What are we going to do with ourselves until Mama gets home?" I asked as we stepped inside and I hung up Caroline's backpack. She slipped off her shoes by the door and raced to the living room.

"Can we watch a movie? With a princess? And wear the crowns Aunt Bella got me for my birthday?" she asked from the couch.

_The things I do._

"Whatever you want, Sweet," I told her as I fell onto the couch with her. I watched as she expertly turned on the TV and filled the DVD player, thinking that maybe we should cut back on the television just a _little_. Caroline finished and stood by the couch frowning down at me.

"Can I lay on your heart?"

"Of course." I smiled and lifted her up. She settled herself on my chest, her little hand spread out on my shirt. I touched her little fingers and she pressed her palm to mine.

"I love you, Daddy," she whispered before wrapping her arm around my neck.

"I love you, Sweet," I murmured into her hair. She sighed and focused her attention the movie. I watched with my mind in a different place.

"_What is that? His butt?" I asked, pressing my hand over Leah's stomach. _

"_Hm." She placed her hand over mine, our fingers intertwined over her skin. "I'm not sure," Leah said as she moved our hands around her taut skin. I was amazed at how her body had changed over the past eight months, and by how much more beautiful she'd become, even if she didn't think so. _

"_Whatever it is, it's perfect," I whispered before pressing my lips to her stomach. _

_Leah laughed and ran her hand through my hair. _

"_Of course he's perfect. He's part of you," she replied. I rolled my eyes and kissed her gently. _

"_Us," I corrected. _

"_Ugh. All I am these days is fat and cranky," she said as she gingerly rolled to her side. I spooned myself against her and let my hands travel down her back, knowing well enough what the change in position meant. I pressed my fingers into the small of her back and heard her sigh. _

"_You're beautiful," I murmured and placed a kiss on the back of her neck. She reached back and touched my face gently. _

"_Thank you." _

"Hey." Leah leaned over the back of the couch and smiled down at us when we were about halfway through the movie.

"Hi, Mama," Caroline greeted her, sitting up and slinging her legs over my stomach.

"You guys having fun?" she asked.

"Can we have pizza for dinner?" Caroline ignored her mother's question.

Leah laughed and kissed her head. "Sure. Go get your shoes on," she said as I sat up and let her take the seat next to me.

"Okay!" Caroline yelled and ran from the living room.

"What did you have to tell me today?" Leah asked once she was gone.

"Oh, well…Dr. Murphy and Rosalie are…together?" I said, unsure of what I should say about them.

"Isn't Dr. Murphy a woman?" Leah raised an eyebrow at me.

"Um, yes."

"Well. Huh." She leaned back against the couch and chewed her lip. "How'd you figure that out?"

"She has a photo of Rosalie and her son in her office. Or, _their_ son, I guess." I shrugged.

"Interesting. I guess I should tell Jake so he stops hitting on her," Leah mused.

"Oh, can't you let him figure out on his own? Please, babe? Do it for me?" I pleaded. Leah laughed loudly. _God_, I loved that sound.

"You're awful!" she cried. I nodded and pulled her against me, planting a sloppy kiss on her neck.

"Daddy! There's no time for kissing! I want pizza!" Caroline yelled over our laughter.

"Oh, forgive me, Sweet." I placed a hand over my heart, which she quickly grabbed and tried to pull me up off the couch. It didn't work, however, and we ended up in a heap together, laughing and smiling…_finally_.

xXx

"So, today went well?" Leah asked as we undressed and got ready for bed.

"Yeah, I think so." I slipped under the covers and flipped down her side for her.

"Are you going to go back?" Her tone was nervous and a little worried.

"Of course," I replied, a little too short than I'd meant for it to be. "I mean, yes. I made an appointment already for next week."

"Oh, okay," Leah replied, turning off the lamp and crawling into bed next to me.

"I told you I was going to do this, Leah, and I meant it," I told her as I pulled her against my body. She relaxed into me and tugged my arm around her.

"I know, Teddy," she whispered. "I love you."

I kissed her shoulder and held her tighter. "I love you."

xXx

"Fuck, I hate you," I muttered and grabbed two water bottles out of the refrigerator. I handed one to Bella, who stood glaring at me.

"Why are you doing this then?" She turned on her heel and stalked to the front door.

"Because I love my wife," I explained as I closed the door behind us. "And she needs some peace and quiet."

"Oh, well…fine. Be a good husband, but I'm going to make you work!" she slapped me in the chest and I groaned.

"Let's go then, shrimp," I teased as I started down the sidewalk. Bella followed at a slower pace, more used to Leah's than my stride. "If you stopped looking at my ass you could run faster."

"Don't be a dick," she said with a laugh and a quick shove in my direction.

We ran to the park that she and Leah always stopped at and fell into the grass. Bella fell next to me, crossing her legs in front of her and stretching.

"Thanks for this." Bella gestured between us. "I know Leah hates it."

I laughed. "Then why do you make her do it?"

"I like to spend the time with her." she shrugged. "It's the only time we get that's free of kids or husbands or…everything."

"She likes that, too. But she really fucking hates running."

"I know," Bella sighed. "You're right though, she needs…"

"To be taken care of," I finished.

"Edward…"

"It's true, Bella. I haven't been doing the best job of it, but I'm working on it, you know?"

"I know." She reached over and squeezed my hand. "Let's go. My kids will be waking up soon and you know Em can't multi-task."

I chuckled and pulled her up from the grass. We raced back to my house (I let her win) and said goodbye in the driveway before I quietly made my way into the house, just as the sun was coming up.

After checking to make sure Caroline was still asleep I tiptoed to the bedroom, slipping out of my sweaty shirt on the way. I closed the bedroom door behind me, only to find that Leah wasn't even in bed: the bathroom light was on and the shower was running.

"Babe?" I pushed the door open and she stuck her head out from behind the shower curtain. Her sleepy eyes raked over my chest and she beckoned me forward. "Yes?"

"You are very sexy covered in sweat. Did you know that?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

"I did not know that, but thank you." I grinned and pretended to sniff myself. "Do you like the smell, too?"

"You know what I like? That you took over running with my sister of all people. I love it. I love you. Get your smelly ass naked and get in here…now." She raised an eyebrow at me and I didn't waste anytime tearing off my shoes and shorts before I practically fell into the shower. Leah laughed, the sound of it echoing through the bathroom. She pulled me against her and we fell against the tile.

Warm water splashed us as she looked up at me with those big, dark eyes, and I folded. I pressed my lips to hers one quick, hard time. She sighed against my mouth and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I want you," she said softly. I grinned and kissed her again.

"Yes ma'am," I replied as gently pushed her feet apart with my own. I slipped my thigh between hers and let my hand travel down her wet skin. Her head fell back against the tile as my hand slipped between her thighs, fingers dipping into her slick skin. I moved forward, pressing my lips to her shoulder and scraping my teeth over her skin.

"Fuck," she muttered and I chuckled quietly against her neck. She whimpered as I removed my fingers and pulled her leg over my hip. I bent my knees and brushed my lips against her quickly. Her eyes were wide with anticipation and I couldn't help but smile.

"Stop being so cocky," Leah said with a soft laugh as she lifted herself up on the leg that wasn't secure around my waist.

"I am almost positive that isn't really what you want," I murmured, bending my knees a little for leverage.

"You know me well," she whispered as I slowly pushed inside. Her eyes closed and a soft cry fell from her lips.

My fingers dug into her thigh as we moved together slowly. I pushed and she pushed back, harder, and almost desperate. Leah's hands tugged impatiently at my hair so I snaked my arms around her, grabbing her ass and lifting her until both of her legs were secure around my waist.

"Finally," she groaned, rocking her hips against mine and biting my chin. I laughed and held her tighter as my need threatened to consume me.

I pressed her harder against the wall, holding her tightly with one hand and letting the other move up her body and tangle in her hair. She kissed me hard, moaning quietly against my mouth as I quickened my pace. She pulled back, touching my face with a look in her eyes that was so tender it made my heart ache.

This was _us. _Just us.

We were unexpected and a little weird, but _fuck_, we were perfect together. I don't know how could have ever thought anything different.

I rested my head on Leah's shoulder, intent on bringing her over the edge with me. Her arms were tight around my neck, heels dug into the backs of my thighs bringing me closer, deeper. I felt her shudder under my hands and heard her quiet gasp as my rhythm changed to a messy and uneven pace. She cried out loudly in my ear, and that was all it took to send us both stumbling into oblivion.

"Holy shit," Leah muttered. She let her legs fall from around me and braced herself on the shower wall. "I think you should run every morning."

"You just like me dirty," I laughed and stepped into the stream of water.

She slapped my ass and grinned. "I really do," she said before pushing me out of the stream and quickly rinsed herself. Leah kissed me quickly and slipped out of the shower. I finished my shower and dressed for work, and then settled in the kitchen for breakfast with my wife and daughter.

I could feel it already, the change in our house. Like a cloud was slowly moving past the sun and letting the light back in.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Stephenie owns all things. **

**Thanks you killerlashes and ThatIsRiddik for sticking around, even when it gets a little sad. ;) **

**Thanks to all of you for reading. **

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><p>All the King's Horses - Chapter 14<p>

"So, we'll have the ceremony and everything right in the backyard. Mom's doing the cake and Sue's doing the food…" Alice kept talking, but I'd honestly stopped listening five minutes ago, the moment she mentioned orchids. It was a week before Alice and Jasper's wedding, school had just let out, and we were celebrating at our weekly family dinner. I'd seen Kate two more times since our initial appointment, and things had been going well. We spent most of the time talking about my family, and it felt good to do it. I talked about Eli, how life had been before and after his death. I knew eventually I'd have to talk to Leah about it, but that's what Kate and I were working on.

"What color are the bridesmaid dresses?" I heard Emmett ask and my head snapped in his direction.

"Persian blue," Bella and Leah answered together while Emmett shrugged and rolled his eyes at me, obviously trying to win the "Best Big Brother" award. It was fine, he could have it.

Leah laughed and squeezed my hand under the table, amused.

"You look good in blue...even Persian blue," I whispered and kissed her shoulder. She shook her head and pushed my face away.

"Daddy!" Caroline appeared between us with Sami attached to her side. "Can Sami stay the night with us?"

"Did she ask her parents?" I asked, turning from my daughter to my brother. Emmett nodded vigorously and Bella sipped her wine and waved her hand dismissively.

"Please, Daddy? We'll be really good. And we don't have to go to school tomorrow!"

"Sure, baby," I finally answered and put her out of her five-year-old misery.

They squealed and hugged, knocking heads in the process, then giggled and ran out of the room.

"Good luck with that," Emmett teased good-naturedly and I shrugged. Leah's hand grasped mine again.

"It'll be good for her," she said quietly, her eyes on the table in front of her. I kissed the back of her hand and silently nodded. Caroline had been doing well, but we both knew the extra time she spent without the distraction of school would be tough on her.

"We should get going," I said as I stood up and pulled my wife with me. We said goodbye and gathered the girls, then loaded them up in the car. They chattered the whole way home, and didn't stop for another hour once we were in the door.

"Will they ever stop?" I whined as we were treated to yet another round of the "My Little Pony" theme song, pulling my wife against my side and pressing my face into her neck.

Leah laughed and ran her hands through my hair. "They love each other. Don't you remember hanging out with your brother that way?"

I pulled away to glare at her. "Emmett thought fun was locking me in the closet or trying to beat the life out of me. Or both." I frowned.

"You were quite the runt, weren't you?" she teased, poking me in my side.

"Hey, I filled out nicely, thank you very much," I said as I patted my chest.

Leah laughed and pulled me into a kiss. "Finally."

"You're mean, you know." I pushed her away and sat up on the couch. "I'm going to bed- _some_ of us have to work tomorrow."

"You're cute when you pout, Teddy!" she called as I made my way down the hall. I heard the shrieking just as I stepped past Caroline's bedroom.

"No! You can't! It's not yours!" Caroline yelled. I quickly pushed the door open and found her and Sami in a stand-off, glaring at each other from across the room.

"I just wanted to see it!" Sami yelled back.

"NO!"

"Caroline!" I said loudly, causing both of them to jump. Caroline's big eyes stared up at me, fresh tears forming in them as she glanced down at the blue bunny in her hand.

"I- I…" she stuttered as the bunny fell from her hand.

"What's going on?" Leah asked from the doorway. We stood in silence for a moment before both girls started to cry. Leah and I exchanged a worried look before she stepped to our daughter and I ushered Sami down the hall. She sat on the couch and I knelt in front of her, wiping her tears away with my fingers as she tried to calm herself down.

"I just wanted to see the bunny," Sami hiccupped. "I didn't know she would be so mad!"

"Shh, it's okay, sweetie. I'm sorry you're upset. Do you want me to take you home?"

"I don't want Carrie to be mad at me," she whispered.

"She won't be. I promise," I told her before I made my way back to Caroline's bedroom. Leah was sitting on the edge of Caroline's bed, holding her tightly and whispering softly to her. "I'll be back."

Leah nodded over our daughter's head and I left them alone. Sami took my hand as I led her to my truck. I helped her up, pretending to struggle as I lifted her into the cab and she cracked a smile, but was silent the whole way to her house.

Emmett was waiting on the porch when we got there. Sami ran to him quickly, but turned just before she reached him and walked back to me. She didn't say anything, just wrapped her arms tightly around my waist for a moment. I smiled and ran a hand over her head before she made her way back to her father.

"Mommy's got ice cream," he said as he pulled her to him quickly and kissed her on the cheek. I watched as she ran inside. "Leah called when you left. Sorry about tonight."

"You're sorry? My kid made your kid cry. _I'm _sorry."

"Come, dear brother. Sit." He patted the step next to him and I did as he asked. "So, a blue bunny, huh?"

"It was Eli's. She took it from his room months ago," I explained as I laced my fingers together in front of me. It had become a little bit easier to say his name in the past few weeks, though I knew it would be a long time until it didn't hurt at all…maybe it always would.

"She's got an amazing little soul, don't you think? Sometimes you can just see it," he said as he leaned back against the top step.

"It's in pieces right now," I replied softly.

It was a long moment before I felt his hand on my shoulder. He gave me one quick squeeze and then let his hand fall. "It'll be fine. Kids are resilient."

"What if it's not?" I asked.

"It will be," Emmett answered. I could see him shrug from the corner of his eye.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you, Edward. I've known you your entire life and I know that you _will not_ fail at this."

"I've failed before, plenty of times," I said, clenching my fists atop my thighs.

"No, you haven't. Not when it comes to important things," Emmett assured me.

I sighed and stood up. "You don't know what you're talking about, Em." I began to walk away.

"I know you, Edward," he said again.

I stopped walking before I reached my truck and turned to him.

"What if it's not enough?" I whispered.

Emmett was on his feet before I could say anything else. He crossed the driveway and pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms so tight around me I could barely breathe. It took me a second before my arms moved and hugged him back.

"It will be," Emmett said, cuffing me gently upside the head like a tame grizzly before releasing me. "Get outta here, punk."

I smiled and nodded before getting in my truck and taking myself home. The lights were off at the house, but Leah was sitting on the couch with Caroline's head in her lap.

"Sami okay?" Leah asked as I knelt in front of them.

"She's fine," I answered, leaning in to kiss her cheek and then Caroline's head. "Let's go to bed." I picked Caroline up off the couch and Leah followed me down the hall. She left me alone to put our daughter to bed. I sighed as I tucked the covers around her and turned to leave, stepping on the offensive little blue bunny in the process. I picked him up and set him next to Caroline then turned to go again.

"Daddy?" Caroline's sleepy voice stopped me at the door.

"Yeah, baby?" I answered, turning back to her.

"Did I make Sami sad?"

"No, Sweet. Sami's okay," I told her.

"Is she mad at me?"

"Of course not," I said as I sat on the edge of her bed. "But maybe you need to think about how you should treat other people before she comes over again."

"I just didn't want her to touch Eli's bunny," she said quietly, stroking his little ears.

"I know." I smoothed her hair and touched the bunny's nose. "Sami loves you. And she loved Eli, so she wouldn't do anything to hurt either one of you, got it?"

"Yes." She nodded and rolled over, ending the conversation.

I finally made it to my bedroom and found Leah already in bed with a book propped up on her knees. Slowly, I crawled onto the bed and grabbed the book from her hands and tossed it on the end of the bed. She opened her arms and I rested my head on her shoulder, breathing her in deeply.

"She loved him so much," Leah whispered as we tangled ourselves together.

"Remember when we found him sleeping in her crib? God, that was terrifying," I said with a small chuckle. "I wanted to put them both in dog crates so they couldn't go anywhere."

Leah hummed and pressed her lips to my hair. "He wanted to make sure she was safe."

"It made me nervous."

"I know, you slept on his floor for two weeks," Leah laughed.

"Just until he stopped climbing out of bed," I muttered and let my hands travel under her t-shirt and my fingers trail over her warm skin.

"He was adventurous," she said and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"I loved that about him," I said quietly.

"Me too," she replied, pulling me closer and kissing my nose. I brushed her hair away and kissed her gently, relieved and a little excited that we'd just had a conversation about our son without the world imploding.

My wife groaned as I moved away and I laughed softly. I tugged off my shirt and jeans as she crawled under the covers, and I joined her quickly.

"What are you girls going to do tomorrow?" I asked once she'd settled on my chest and threw her leg over mine.

"Have a talk. Apologize to Sami. Get ice cream," Leah said with a yawn.

"Sounds like a plan. Bring me some Rocky Road."

"If you're good," she said sleepily and I chuckled, wrapping my arm tighter around her and kissing her head.

"I'll do my best."

Leah sighed and pulled herself closer, and I smiled into the darkness.

xXx

It didn't take me long to find Leah the next morning. She was on the back porch, still in her pajamas, and curled up on our wicker loveseat with a cup of coffee.

"Hi," she greeted me when I sat next to her and pulled her feet into my lap. She reached over and brushed my hair out of my eyes and smiled.

I frowned. "You're supposed to be sleeping in."

"I couldn't sleep," Leah replied softly.

"I know," I said, rubbing the soles of her feet. "You tossed and turned all night."

"Did I keep you up? I'm sorry."

"No, babe. Just tell me what you're worried about." I moved closer until her legs were draped over my lap and I could take her free hand in mine.

"Are you going to see Kate today?" she asked, not meeting my eyes.

"Yeah. At ten."

"I need you to ask her…ask her if she sees children."

"Leah…"

"Fuck, Edward, ask her if she'll see us all. Maybe we all need it." Leah lifted her head and tears shined in her dark eyes and spilled down her cheeks.

"Okay," I replied as I wiped her tears away. "We'll do whatever it takes, Leah."

She sighed and leaned into me.

"Whatever it takes," I repeated.

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><p><strong>Reviews are love. :)<strong>


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Stephenie owns them. **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes do the damn thing. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Fifteen<p>

"I'm going to your mom's," I whispered against Edward's cheek. He mumbled something incoherent and buried his face in his pillow. "Bring your daughter over at ten and be prepared to work."

"'Kay." Edward turned over with puckered lips. I laughed and kissed him gently. "Love you," he muttered before turning away again.

"Ten o'clock, Edward."

"Got it, babe," I heard as I closed our bedroom door.

"Don't forget to shave!" I called and Edward groaned.

I smiled as I made my way to Esme's house to help with decorations and setup for the wedding. Edward had kept his word and talked to Kate about seeing all of us. I'd had an appointment the day before, though we hadn't taken Caroline yet. Edward and I both agreed that we would ask for Kate's advice before we made Caroline go to therapy. It was hard enough to make ourselves go.

My session with Kate went well, though. We talked about Edward and our relationship and how things had been tense in the past few months. She helped me to remember some things that I'd forgotten: our first kiss at the beach, our first real date, the first time I saw Edward hold our son…so many things had been pushed to the wayside for so long.

"_Do you want to go on the Ferris wheel?" Edward asked me as we made our way through the carnival midway. _

"_Um…really?" I grasped his hand tightly and frowned up at him._

"_Why not? Are you…Dishwater? Are you afraid of heights?" Edward stopped and pulled me against him. _

"_A little bit," I muttered and tried not to look at him. He laughed and tipped my face to his. _

"_I'll hold onto you," Edward whispered before kissing me softly on the lips. It wasn't the first time he'd kissed me, but it still did silly things to my insides. _

"_Promise?" _

"_Of course. I've got you. One hundred percent." He kissed me again and tugged me toward the Ferris wheel. "Always will."_

"Sweetie, put those flowers on that table over there, will you?" Esme called to me, and I set the centerpiece on one of the rented tables and looked around. We'd been working for almost two hours and the house was nearly transformed. A tent had been set up with a makeshift dance floor, as well as chairs, and an altar had all been arranged in the yard. The place was spacious enough, and gorgeous during this time of year, too. Edward's family wasn't actually rolling in money, but they did well for themselves and saved over the years. Plus Carlisle had left each of the kids a pretty decent amount of money for college. Well, Edward's went to buy our house, but no one thought any different about it.

"It looks great out there," I said as I entered Esme's huge bathroom where Alice was getting her makeup done.

"Oh, good," Alice sighed and rubbed a hand over her little belly, grimacing slightly.

"You want something bland to eat? Maybe some toast or crackers?" I asked with a knowing smile.

"That might be nice," she admitted.

"I'll be back," I told her and made my way to the kitchen, already stuffed with food ready for the reception. I managed to find the bread and made her a cup of mint tea just in case. I remembered that bubbly-stomach feeling all too well.

"We're _he-re_," I heard Caroline sing and the front door opened.

"Kitchen!" I called back.

"Ooo, what are these?" Edward asked, looking down at the platters of food.

"Don't touch!" I slapped his hand away and he frowned at me.

"Rude," he muttered. I smiled and handed him a plate and mug.

"Take this to your sister," I said before leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He just smirked and sauntered away, Caroline trailing behind him.

EPOV

"Delivery for the bride," I called and knocked on the bathroom door. The door opened and a little blonde with a bright pink streak in her hair poked her head out.

"Come on in," she said and snapped her gum. I shuddered at the noise. "I'll be back, Al."

Alice nodded at the blonde and settled her eyes on me, then smiled.

"What'd you bring me?"

"What looks like some deliciously bland toast and a cup of tea to calm your nerves or your stomach. Whichever." I shrugged.

She wrinkled her nose and took both of them from me, and set them on the bathroom counter. I sat on the edge of the tub, pulled Caroline between my legs, and wrapped my arms around her little body.

"Daddy!" she giggled. "You need to shave!" I rubbed my cheek against hers until she wriggled out of my grasp and ran out of the bathroom.

"Man, I can't catch a break today," I said, grinning at my sister.

Alice smiled and nibbled on a little piece of toast.

"That mint tea always helped Leah, if you're feeling sick," I suggested.

"It's more nerves, I think," Alice admitted.

"What are you nervous about?" I asked.

"I don't know. Marriage. Motherhood. That Jasper's only marrying me _because_ of the whole motherhood thing," she said in a rush and I bit back my laugh.

"He's crazy about you, Alice. I don't think you have to worry about that," I tried to reassure her. Alice gave me a weak smile and looked at her hands.

"How did you know it was right with Leah? I mean, before she got pregnant?" she asked quietly.

I took a deep breath.

"_Oh, hey," I greeted Leah, surprised to see her in my kitchen on a Friday morning. "No school?" _

"_No, it's a teacher work day or something," she explained with a shrug. "I was just-" _

"_I have to work," I said before she could finish her sentence. I felt bad, because lately all I wanted to do was spend time with her. I'd also been working more and more at the shop, so that time with her was taking a back burner. I hated it. _

"_I know." She smiled. "I'm taking your dad to his chemo appointment. Your mom has a lot to do at work and obviously your sister can't drive so…why are you looking at me like that?" _

"_Like what?" I asked, trying to compose myself. I had been looking at her weird, but only because I was so fucking in love with her I didn't know how else to look. _

"_There you are, my personal chauffeur," Dad said from the kitchen doorway. Leah grinned and quickly went to him, hugging him cautiously. _

"_Ready when you are, Miss Daisy," she teased. Dad laughed softly and cast me a glance. _

"_I'll take good care of your girl, Edward," Dad said with a wink in my direction. I smiled back, trying to ignore the gray cast of his skin and the way his clothes were starting to hang off him. _

"_Watch it, old man. I've got my eye on you too, Dishwater," I threatened them both. _

_Leah laughed and crossed the kitchen. "See you later, Teddy," she whispered before she kissed my cheek and disappeared with my father. _

Alice smiled and reached over to take my hand. "I miss him. Especially today," she whispered.

"Well, that's what you've got me for, right?" I squeezed her hand and she nodded. "I wouldn't let you do anything you weren't ready for, Al. You're ready for this. And you're going to be great at it."

"Promise?" she sniffled. I laughed.

"Of course. Now, get yourself cleaned up. I can't walk you down the aisle looking like that."

Alice pushed me away playfully. I kissed the top of her head and made my way out of the bathroom, running into my wife in the process.

"Oh, hey. Your mom needs some help downstairs, and then could you send Carrie and Sami up at so we can get them dressed?"

It took me a moment to reply because I could only focus on the way her lips moved when she talked, covered in shiny gloss. Or how her eyelashes fanned out against her dark skin, and just how goddamned beautiful she was.

"Edward?" she asked.

"Sorry, babe." I grinned sheepishly. "You caught me off guard."

Leah rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get used to it."

"I love you just the way you are," I whispered and kissed her gently. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss, then pulled away, leaving me breathless.

"What was that for?" I asked as she reached up and wiped her gloss from my face.

"Weddings make me emotional," she replied with a shrug. "Get to work." Leah slapped my ass and pushed me out of the room. I helped my mom and everyone else downstairs finish setting up chairs and tables. Bella enjoyed yelling directions at everyone and checking things off her clipboard. She was a little scary sometimes. After a while I snuck off and found my brother and the kids in my old bedroom, all of them sprawled out on the fluffy bed watching cartoons.

"Okay, girls, you are needed in hair and makeup," I said and waved them out of the room as Jasper stumbled in, looking pale.

"You okay, buddy?" Emmett raised an eyebrow at him from the bed and he laughed quietly.

"I'm good. Just nervous," Jasper admitted, falling onto the bed. Andrew promptly crawled over to him and smacked him in the face with a little hand. "Harsh, little dude."

"He calls 'em like he sees 'em," Emmett laughed and pulled Andrew off his soon-to-be-uncle. "Okay, men. Let's get dressed so I can go cry like a baby over my little sister marrying this goober." He jerked his thumb in Jasper's direction with a grin.

Jasper frowned and I laughed.

"He's not kidding. He gets a little emotional," I told Jasper. "Cries like a bitch. You should've seen him the first time he held Caroline."

"Look at this little tux! This is awesome!" Emmett cried as he held a squirming baby in one arm and his little tux in the other.

We laughed and I glanced at my watch. "All right, kids. We've got forty-five minutes before showtime. Jazz, is your best man here?"

"Yeah, he's on his way," he answered. We dressed quickly and helped Emmett wrestle Andrew into his tux, then made our way downstairs to start greeting guests.

Jasper's friend Peter was already there and his girlfriend, Charlotte, was Alice's maid of honor. Over a hundred people were supposed to be showing up and directed to the backyard. Peter and I did most of the filtering while Emmett chased Andrew around, trying to keep his clothes on until Bella finally found him and took over.

"Looking sharp, Teddy," she said as she tugged on my skinny black tie. I glared at her and she laughed before going into the kitchen, her son trailing behind her.

"What's with the face?" Leah appeared at my side and slipped her hand into mine.

"Your sister," I muttered. My wife laughed and leaned into my side. "Is everyone ready?"

"Just about. Your mom got a little emotional so we left," Leah sighed. I kissed her head and gave her a quick squeeze.

"I'll go check on them," I told her.

"Five minutes, okay?"

"You just make sure the groom's where he's supposed to be," I winked at her before bounding up the stairs. "You ladies ready?" I called into my mother's bedroom.

"We're ready, sweetheart," Mom answered, flinging the door open. I felt my throat tighten seeing my little sister adjusting her veil and smoothing her hands down the front of her dress.

"How do I look?" she asked quietly.

I nodded, finding it hard to speak.

"That bad, huh?" Alice teased.

"Awful. Horrible. I can't even tell you how bad." I grinned and held out my arm.

"Be nice," Mom chided and smacked me on the arm, then led us downstairs.

Everyone had been seated, and only the bridesmaids and the kids were left at the foot of the stairs. I let go of Alice so my mother and Bella could situate her dress, and turned to find Leah before everything started.

I frowned when I saw her, bent over fixing Caroline's hair. She straightened up and caught my eye, and I took a moment to take her in _again. _Her hair was pulled back and to the side, exposing her slender neck, and that damn makeup…

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

"Well…I didn't realize earlier exactly what this dress looked like," I muttered, slipping an arm around her and letting my fingers trail up the skin of her back that was left exposed by the dress.

"Not a fan of the open back?" she raised an eyebrow at me. Her eyes seemed to shine as she did.

"Oh, I'm a fan all right," I laughed and kissed her temple. "And…I'm really going to enjoy taking that off later."

"Don't tease me, Teddy," Leah whispered, tugging on my tie. I pulled away and winked at her before returning to my sister.

Alice slipped her arm into mine and smiled up at me.

"Not too late to turn around," I said softly, as Leah walked down the aisle. Bella followed, and then Charlotte.

My sister laughed and rested a hand over her belly. "I think it might be."

"All right. Here goes nothing," I told her as we stepped out of the house and onto the white aisle runner. Her hand shook on my arm and I clasped it with my own as we walked. When we reached the front Pastor Weber asked who was giving her away.

My voice shook as I answered, "Her family does." And then I handed my sister over and took my place beside Emmett.

Leah caught my eye and pretended to wipe a tear away. I rolled my eyes and patted my heart like she was hurting it, and then turned to watch as Alice and Jasper said their vows. I smiled and thought about _my_ wedding day. How those simple words tied us together forever.

"_Holy shit, we actually did it," I muttered and cranked my truck. I turned to Leah and grinned. _

"_We did," she sighed happily and held her hand out to me. "Ready to party, husband?" _

"_Do we have to? Can't I just take you home?" I kissed the back of her hand and she laughed quietly. _

"_Teddy, we don't even have a bed!" _

"_Damn," I groaned. "All right, reception it is." I pulled out of the courthouse parking lot and made my way to her parent's house where all of our friends would be waiting for us to celebrate our marriage. Our ceremony was small with just our family, and that was good enough for us. _

As Pastor Weber pronounced Alice and Jasper as husband and wife, it was Leah who was wiping away tears and Emmett was who sniffling quietly in front of me. I patted him gently on the shoulder, which earned me a dirty look before he escorted his wife down the aisle. I grinned as Leah linked her arm through mine and I kissed her hair as we walked.

"Softie," I said quietly. She elbowed me in the ribs and I chuckled. All glossy lips and dark eyes, Leah smiled up at me as we entered the house. Behind us people started to move to the large tents set up for the reception, but I couldn't see anyone else for the time being.

"Daddy!" Caroline's hand slipped into my free one, pulling my attention away from my wife. "Will you dance with me when the music starts?"

"It would be my pleasure," I told her, as I let go of Leah's arm and lifted my daughter up.

Leah leaned up to kiss my cheek, and I took the moment to bask in the beauty of my girls. Today was one of the good days.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**SM owns things I don't. **

**ThatIsRiddik pets me on the head and makes me feel good, killerlashes makes these words more better...and adds other stuff that my brain doesn't comprehend because she's awesome like that. ;) **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Sixteen<p>

"You're beautiful when you cry, has anyone ever told you that?" I asked teasingly as Leah slipped her arms around my shoulders.

"Did you want to get laid tonight? I mean, there's free champagne here and I was totally thinking about it, but if you don't shut up I'm taking it elsewhere," she replied, though her teasing tone was laced with sarcasm.

"Elsewhere?" I frowned and looked around, searching for eligible bachelors. "Where else?"

"You don't worry about it, Edward. I'll find someone." She shrugged and gazed out into the crowd.

I leaned closer to her, my lips almost pressed against her ear. "Don't even think about it," I whispered and felt her shiver against me.

"Fine. But quit making fun of me," Leah muttered against my shoulder.

"Promise." I grinned and tipped her chin up so I could kiss her. "Keep drinking that champagne, babe."

She laughed and kissed me again before spinning away from me and heading back to our table. I took the opportunity to dance with my mother.

"How you holding up?" I asked. Mom smiled and shrugged.

"My last little bird has left the nest. It's a little sad," she explained.

"Well, lucky for you there's a whole lot of little fledglings around, right?" I joked.

"I love those baby birds so much."

"Yeah, they're okay," I said and she laughed and rested her head on my shoulder.

"I so wish your father could see what you've become," my mother whispered. I felt my face burn at her compliment, and my eyes stung at the thought.

I smiled and rested my cheek against her hair. "Me too."

"Nanny? Can I dance with my Daddy?" Caroline tugged at my jacket and Mom and I broke apart.

"Of course, sweet girl." Mom kissed my cheek and then Caroline's as I swept her up into my arms.

Caroline grinned and wrapped her little arms around my neck. I could see Leah smile as she watched us and felt my own lips move into a grin.

LPOV

"How's it going?" Emmett took the seat next to me and placed a drink on the table. I eyed the glass and then him. He shrugged. "What? I know what you like."

I laughed and sipped the rum and Coke. He did know what I like.

"It's good." I turned to him and met his gaze. His eyes were the same color as Carlisle's, and it tugged at my heart.

"He seems…different." Emmett nodded at my husband, now expertly spinning our daughter around as she giggled uncontrollably. I frowned. "In a good way, though."

I had to smile. "It's better. Getting better, I mean. Slowly but surely."

"Don't give up on him, Leah," he said so softly I almost didn't hear it. I turned away from Edward and Caroline and met Emmett's eyes again.

"I won't. I wouldn't, not ever," I told him. He nodded and kissed my cheek before snagging his wife on the dance floor.

I finished my drink and noticed that Edward had disappeared from the dance floor, leaving Caroline with my brother. She stood on his feet and he held her hands up like a puppeteer making his marionette dance as they waltzed around the crowd.

After a moment of watching them, I got up and made my way through the crowd. I greeted some random family members and friends while I searched for my husband. It didn't take me long to find him standing just outside the house talking to Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley. He was smiling and waving his arms around animatedly, and I stopped to watch for a moment. Edward had shed his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white long-sleeved shirt. His hair was disheveled (I'd learned years ago that it looked like he just rolled out of bed because most of the time that was _exactly_ what happened) and he needed to shave, but he was smiling, and yeah, maybe the champagne was making me maudlin, but it just then it seemed like _everything_ was better when Edward smiled.

"Hey, beautiful." Edward's grin, if possible, grew when he saw me. He held out his hand and laced our fingers together while he pulled me against his side.

"You're just in time for him to tell me I need to get off my ass and make Jess an honest woman," Mike said with a huge grin. Jess rolled her eyes.

"Well, shit, Newton. It's only been about ten years, get on it!"

"Hey, _she's_ the one that won't give me an answer!" Mike jerked his head in Jess' direction. She shrugged and sipped her drink.

I raised an eyebrow at her and then turned back to Mike. "When did you ask?"

"Last week," Jess answered simply.

My draw dropped and Edward chuckled beside me.

"I'm just weighing all my options." Jess' teasing glance was met with a soft gaze from Mike.

"I'm your only option, baby." He tapped her chin up and Edward cleared his throat beside me.

"These people are making me sick. Let's dance, Dishwater." Edward set his water down and twirled me onto the dance floor.

Edward pulled me closer, one hand grasping my own while the other trailed fire down my bare back.

"You are being incredibly indecent right now, good sir," I muttered, holding him closer.

"Me?" He batted his eyelashes innocently. "I'm dancing with my beautiful wife, how is that indecent?"

I sighed and reached around to grab his hand, which was dangerously close to my ass, and moved it up to a more appropriate place.

He grinned and leaned down to kiss me. "You are sassy today," Edward laughed.

I just shook my head and rested my chin on his shoulder. "Sassy? Have you been talking to my mother?" I teased him as his calloused hands ran over my skin again. Edward pressed a kiss to my hair as we swayed to the music. I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in the song- in my husband.

"_I need to tell you something," Edward said softly. I pulled away and frowned up at him. Those words weren't something I was sure I should be hearing from my brand-new husband. _

"_What?" I asked, cupped the back of his neck and pulling his face closer to mine. _

"_I just…I know that this isn't how you planned it, and I'm sorry." _

"_What do you mean? Why are you sorry?" _

"_Because…because we're like a statistic now. Teenage mother, broke-ass father…fuck," he muttered and pressed his forehead to mine. _

"_Teddy…" I took his face between my hands and forced his eyes to meet mine. _

"_You've just- you've given me everything I've ever wanted. Marrying me, having my kid…I want to be able to do the same for you." _

_All I could do was nod and kiss him and hope that he knew that he'd given me everything I'd ever wanted too. _

"Can we get out of here yet?" Edward whispered.

"But they haven't even cut the cake," I protested, and managed a small laugh, though I wanted nothing more than to leave with him.

"So?" He dropped his head and placed a kiss on my shoulder. I shuddered.

"Edward…" I warned.

"Fine, right after cake."

"What about Carrie?"

"Mom's keeping all the kids. Well, holding them hostage until we help clean up tomorrow," he explained.

"God, that woman is smart."

Edward chuckled quietly and kissed me before releasing me once more. He took my hand and led me back to the table where we waited out the rest of the party with Emmett and Bella. The girls flitted in and out of our conversations, having too much fun to settle down. At one point Edward ended up with Andrew asleep in his arms and I felt my heart clench up just a little at the sight. He smiled and laughed, holding the baby without a second thought, but I could only see one thing.

_His voice was so quiet that for a moment I was sure I was dreaming. The day had been so exhausting, but completely rewarding the moment I saw my son's face. _

"_I didn't know I could love somebody I'd never met so much," Edward whispered softly to our little boy. "But I loved you from the very first minute. And I promise that I'll always keep you safe, and I'll always love you that much, no matter what." _

_I closed my eyes and turned my head away from them, not wanting to ruin the moment, and feeling so overwhelmed with love for both of my boys. _

"We're going to get the kids ready for bed," Edward said as he and Emmett stood up. I nodded and watched them walk away before turning to my sister.

She reached over and squeezed my hand. "It was a good day, huh?" I turned the dancing crowd just in time to see our parents doing the tango across the makeshift dance floor and laughed. Charlie Swan and the tango had obviously never met before, and they weren't getting along very well now.

"Yeah, a good day." I smiled. "I'm going to tell everyone goodbye and take my husband to bed."

Bella raised an eyebrow at me. "You mean home?"

"Nope." I winked at her and made my way through the crowd to tell everyone goodbye. I passed Emmett on the way into the house and he wrapped me up in a big bear hug before holding the door open for me. Upstairs, I found Edward in the hallway just outside of his old bedroom.

"Are they asleep already?" I rested my chin on his shoulder and followed his gaze, feeling my throat tighten as I did.

It was a black and white photo hanging on the wall. A close-up of Edward with his lips pressed to Eli's cheek. He couldn't have been more than three weeks old.

The same photo used to hang in our own hallway, until the day I'd taken it down because I burst into tears every time I walked by it.

"Just Andrew. I told Caroline you'd tell her goodnight," he replied without turning to me.

"I'll be right back." I touched his face gently before slipping into the room.

Edward was still standing in the hall after I kissed my daughter goodbye. She and Sami were curled up in a sleepy, squirmy heap, like puppies in a box.

"Ready?" I asked, holding out my hand to him. He turned to me, one side of his mouth tugging up into a perfect smile.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready." Edward took my hand and led me outside.

"Are you okay to drive?"

"Yeah, babe. I haven't been drinking." He opened the door and helped me drag the hem of my skirt in.

"Oh." I was surprised, but decided not to press the issue. Even though I was extremely curious about why he wasn't drinking.

"That's crazy about Mike and Jess, huh?" Edward asked as he drove. He took my hand in his and rubbed little circles over my skin.

"It's about damn time," I exclaimed loudly.

"Well, apparently not everyone is like us," he whispered and kissed the back of my hand.

"I'm okay with that." I grinned.

"Good."

"_You're lucky I'm not more pregnant. You wouldn't be able to do this," I said as Edward kicked the door of our new house closed behind him. _

"_You underestimate my strength, woman." He set me on my feet and pulled me into a kiss. _

_I sighed and looked around. There were boxes everywhere and the house smelled faintly like paint, but it was home. Of course, my feet were killing me and all we had was a mattress and a box-spring on the floor of our bedroom. _

_Edward led me down the hall to our bedroom and we both gasped quietly when he turned on the light. _

"_What the hell…?" he walked forward and let his hand run over the dark blue bedspread before turning back to me. I shrugged and stepped into the room, taking in the rest of it. Our bed wasn't just a mattress on the floor: it was a beautiful four-poster bed with matching dressers and nightstands. _

_A little card sat atop one of the dressers, and I picked it up with shaking hands, recognizing Charlie's neatly printed block letters._

"_Kids, consider this your wedding/birthday/Christmas presents combined. We love you," I read aloud. _

_Edward plucked the card out of my hand and wrapped an arm around my waist, while his other hand rested over my belly. _

"_You know, one day your dad is going to stop calling me'kid'," he grumbled with a soft kiss to my forehead. I touched his cheek softly. _

"_Get over it, Teddy," I whispered. _

"_I love you, Leah. So fucking much." He pressed his forehead to mine and sighed deeply, his fingers making little circles on my stomach. _

"_I need to tell you something," I said softly. His eyes flew open and his hand stilled over my stomach. _

"_What?" his voice was worried. _

"_Just…" _

"_Is it about the baby? Is it not mine? I swear to God, Leah, if the kid comes out looking more than half-Quileute we are going to have some serious marital problems!" The corners of his mouth quirked up and I pushed him away. _

"_Edward!" I stomped my foot and glared at him. _

"_I'm kidding, babe…kind of…" _

_I pouted."Be serious." _

"_I am." He stepped back to me and cupped my face gently. _

"_I love you. And what I wanted to tell you was that you _have_ given me all I've ever wanted," I said quietly. "We won't _be_ a statistic, because we're the real deal, me and you." _

_Edward grinned and leaned down to kiss me. "I know." _

"Tired?" Edward rested his hands on my shoulders and kissed my neck. I watched him in the mirror of our dresser and smiled.

"Not really," I replied. I took off my earrings and felt his hands working in my hair, pulling out the bobby pins and letting my hair out of the tight bun Alice's hairdresser had wrapped it up in. I sighed as it fell loose and his fingers massaged my scalp; his lips met my shoulder again and I leaned back against him.

His hands ran down my arms, then grasped my hips and turned me to him. I smiled at the look in his eyes, at the memory of a twenty-year-old-Edward in this very bedroom as we started our lives together as a family. He looked at me the same exact way, though the eyes were older, wiser. They held a little more knowledge and a lot more pain, but the love was the same. It was something I never had to worry about, because no matter how bad things got, I knew Edward would always be mine.

"I love you," he whispered as his knuckles ghosted over my cheek.

"Show me," I whispered back. Edward nodded and kissed me gently, his hands on my skin again, pushing the straps of my silky blue dress off my shoulders. His lips met mine again, and he nudged the material down until it pooled at my feet.

His eyes widened comically as he took in the tiny blue satin panties and the gartered silk stockings I was wearing. They were a "thank you for helping to organize my wedding" present from Alice.

I grinned. "You like?"

"I definitely like. So beautiful," he murmured, skimming his nose along my jaw and placing a kiss under my ear. I pressed myself against his body, loving the feel of him fully dressed against my nearly naked body. Edward quickly swung me up into his arms and carried me to our bed. I pulled him down with me, running my hands down his crisp white shirt before starting on the buttons.

His lips were warm and gentle against mine, worshipful almost. Fingers were light on my skin, touching and teasing until Edward pulled away to slip his shirt off. He tugged off his undershirt and I ran my hand down his chest to the top of his pants. Edward moved away, slipping off the bed to remove his pants and boxers before he rejoined me, his lean body stretching over mine.

I hummed in response, pulling him closer. Edward buried his face in my neck briefly, and then moved down slowly, kissing and nipping, making me whimper with pleasure. His fingers skimmed over my hip then pushed the panties down my legs.

I sat up to unfasten the garter belt and stockings, but he caught my hand. "Uh-uh. Leave them on."

I raised my eyebrow, my grin matching his. "Fetish duly noted," I whispered.

He was silent as he settled himself between my legs, though the look in his eyes spoke volumes. I drew him into a kiss as he pushed into me with one long, slow thrust.

Edward pulled away from my kiss and rested his forehead against mine as we moved.

We whispered, panted, and trembled together.

He pushed and pulled and kissed, while I touched, memorizing every inch of his body with my fingertips. Every scar and freckle that made Edward who he was, every part of him that made me love him more and more every day.

I tugged him closer, burying my face in his neck, and felt him shake against me. Our bodies moved together quickly, roughly, each push bringing us deeper and closer to coming undone.

Our hands threaded together and I arched against him, tightening and crying out against his lips. Edward followed, a soft groan falling from his mouth as he stilled above me. I rested my hand over his heart as our lips moved together lazily; I could feel him smiling against my mouth.

He rolled to the side and pulled me closer, his hands still on my skin and lips still pressed to mine. I tangled my fingers in his mess of hair and sighed contentedly.

"Today was a good day, Teddy," I whispered in his ear. "Now help me get these damn stockings off before I slide right out of bed."

* * *

><p><strong>ilybai :)<strong>


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**Stephenie owns them, yay for her. **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes take good care of us.**

**Thank you all so much for reading. This story will most likely complete within the next week or so, so be prepared. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Seventeen<p>

"Morning," I greeted Edward with a kiss to the top of his messy hair and made my way to the coffee pot. "What time do we have to be at your mom's?"

"Around ten for brunch," he muttered and kept his eyes focused on his laptop. I ran my hand through his hair and he pulled me into his lap and kissed my neck.

"What are you doing?" I asked, turning the computer toward me.

Edward groaned and stretched, shifting underneath me. He rested his chin on my shoulder and took a deep breath.

"I think I want to go back to school," he said softly. I took a closer look at the screen, and realized it was a registration page.

I thought about his words for along moment before I nodded.

"Okay."

He frowned. "Okay? No questions about what I want to study or do or anything? Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"

"Jerk. You want to study business, I know that." I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I also know that you've been thinking about it for a long time. And that, even though you already effectively run a business, going back will only enhance your ability to do so."

I watched the corners of his mouth quirk up into a nervous smile. "It's not going to be easy…"

"We've done it before, Edward." I touched his face gently and leaned in to kiss him.

_People smiled as they passed us by in the busy cafeteria, though I couldn't figure out which of my boys they were smiling at. Both of them were pretty handsome. _

"_Did your final go well?" Edward asked over the noise of Eli's chubby little fists banging on the empty tray in front of him. _

"_I think so," I sighed and snagged a piece of dirty napkin, right before Eli could stuff it into his mouth. "You're such a mess," I cooed and he grinned happily at me, scrunching his little nose and showing his teeth. _

"_Mom said he tried to eat the remote, a coaster, and her car keys," Edward said with a laugh. He bounced our son in his lap, and Eli giggled. It was the sweetest sound. _

"_People are going to think we starve him!" _

"_Nah, he's just curious." Edward kissed the top of his head and stood up. "We should let you get back to studying." _

"_But I miss you," I pouted. Edward shifted Eli in his arms and pulled me against his side. _

"_You're almost done, babe," he reassured me and kissed my head. "We'll see you at home. Tell Mama 'bye-bye'." _

_Eli raised a little hand and waved to himself; we laughed. _

_I smiled as I watched them leave, feeling very grateful. _

"Okay," he repeated, smiling more widely than before. He rubbed his thumb over my cheek and I sighed at his touch, the tenderness reminiscent of the previous night.

"We've got some time before we have to be anywhere…" I trailed off and chewed my lip, giving the bedroom a significant look.

Edward laughed and pushed me out of his lap. "Lead the way."

xXx

"Daddy? What's on your neck?" Caroline asked, gazing up at her father. I watched his cheeks flush and his hand go to the side of his neck before he turned to glare at me.

I burst out laughing and felt my own cheeks burn. Funny, I didn't remember doing _that_, and I hadn't noticed it before we'd left the house. My daughter was incredibly observant sometimes.

"I must've…run into something," he said coolly.

"Yeah, Leah's mouth," Bella muttered from across the table. Emmett snorted into his coffee.

"What's that mean?" Caroline frowned.

"Nothing, go play," Edward told her. She happily obliged, running off with Sami trailing behind.

"A hickey? Really?" He turned to me, green eyes shining with amusement.

"Sorry!" I giggled.

"At least you didn't have one on your _wedding day_," Bella glared at her husband, who simply grinned.

"This family is too close…" Esme muttered and gathered up our dishes before leaving the four of us alone.

"Love you, Mom!" Emmett yelled in her direction.

"She's right, you know," I laughed.

"She loves it," Edward said with a grin. "But really babe, a hickey? Are we teenagers again?"

I shrugged and Esme shook her head as she re-entered the dining room.

"You weren't nearly as bad as these two when you were younger," she said pointing to Bella and Emmett.

"Hey!" Emmett cried indignantly. "I do remember one of us having a pregnant girlfriend, and that one of us was not _me_."

"I totally married that girl, so shut up!" Edward grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it gently.

"Yes, but _they_ never had to be escorted home by one of Chief Swan's deputies, did they?" Esme raised an eyebrow at my sister and brother-in-law.

"My dad was so pissed," Bella mused with a reminiscent smile.

"Don't worry, you'll get it back tenfold," Esme grinned as Sami and Caroline ran through the dining room. "Now, there's plenty to do, chop chop!"

"Tenfold…" Edward groaned. "I don't think I can handle that."

I kissed his cheek and squeezed his hand, not quite sure I could handle it either.

We cleaned for the next few hours, occasionally taking breaks that lasted too long, which led to Esme yelling at us. It really did feel like we were teenagers again. When we finished, Esme encouraged us to take leftovers (and our children) home, commenting that she loved us all but was planning to soak in the tub with a bottle of wine for the rest of the day.

At home Edward submitted his registration and fretted about money under his breath, though we both knew there was nothing to worry about. We weren't frivolous and had saved plenty, just in case.

"You know what you have to do now, don't you?" I asked after we'd finished dinner and washed dishes.

"Spend some quality time with you?" Edward responded, slipping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.

"No. We had quality time this morning…and last night. Now- Disneyland."

"Shit. Disneyland." He pressed his forehead to mine and I laughed softly.

"Just for the weekend, I saved some information in the favorites tab. Use the Visa, we'll get miles."

"Yeah, for all those trips we don't take," Edward mumbled as he walked away. "C'mon, Sweet, let's go to Disneyland!" he called. I could hear Caroline's little feet as she ran into the dining room to join him.

EPOV

"Can we stay there?" Caroline pointed to a picture of a hotel on the computer screen. She _would_ pick that one.

"Well, I guess so. I mean, it might get annoying with _those_ characters hanging around…"

"Daddy!" she giggled.

"Okay, that's the one then." I bounced her a couple of times on my leg, before shifting her so I could take out my wallet. She watched as I booked the hotel and plane tickets, because Leah and I were not interested in driving a thousand miles with a five-year-old.

"When do we leave?" Caroline asked excitedly.

"Two weeks. Can you handle the wait?" I teased.

"I'll try!" She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly.

"Good. Go get ready for bed, okay?"

"Okay!" Caroline yelled and ran off, full-blast to her bedroom.

"Everything all set?" Leah wrapped her arms around me from behind and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"Yep." I patted her arm and kissed her wrist.

"She excited?"

"I don't think she's going to sleep for the next two weeks," I chuckled and stood up. "I'm going to make sure she's ready for bed." I kissed my wife and made my way to Caroline's bedroom where she was sitting in the middle of her bed, clutching the blue bunny and grinning.

"You want me to read you a story?" I sat on the edge of her bed and she crawled under the covers quickly and situated herself.

"Can you tell me about Eli?" Her sweet voice melted my heart.

"Why don't you tell me about him," I whispered and kissed her forehead.

"He wanted to be a pilot when he growed up, did you know that?"

"I did. What else?"

"Green was his favorite color. And he really liked Apple Jacks, but not Fruit Loops."

"He really loved you, too," I told her.

"He was a good big brother," she said softly. "He would have liked to go to Disneyland with us."

"I know, baby." I felt my throat tighten as I pulled her blanket up to her chin and tucked her in.

"I'm not a burrito, Daddy!" she giggled but snuggled deeper into her bed.

"I love you, Sweet. Goodnight." I kissed her again and stood up.

"I love you, Daddy. Forever and ever," she said as I closed the door. I leaned back against the wall and rubbed my hand over my face.

"You okay?" Leah's voice was quiet, her hand warm in mine.

"Yeah…yeah. It's just…"

"It's hard." She led me into our bedroom and closed the door.

"It's getting easier, you know. I _want_ to talk about him. I _like_ to talk about him."

"I'm glad." She smiled and got undressed, slipped on one of my t-shirts, and crawled into bed. I laid down and pulled her against my side, nuzzling her hair and holding her tightly.

"I'm sorry it's taken me this long," I said softly into her hair. She didn't say anything; she just wrapped her arms tighter around me and we fell asleep.

xXx

"Can we ride the teacups again, please?" Caroline gripped our hands and looked up at us, her embroidered mouse ears askew on her curly hair.

"Again? You just want to see Daddy throw up, don't you?" Leah teased and I rolled my eyes.

"Well, he did eat a lot of cotton candy. Do you think it will be pink if you throw up?" she looked up at me with curious brown eyes.

"Probably." I shrugged. "But I'd rather not find out. So, why don't you and Mama do that one." I winked at Leah, who made a face but got in line for the teacups anyways. I found a rare piece of shade and watched them talk and laugh while they waited.

We'd been in California for two days and had done pretty well with experiencing all that Disneyland had to offer. Caroline was thrilled with everything which, in turn, thrilled us. It was such a relief to watch her enjoy something _so_ much. When they finally boarded the ride, I stood against the railing to watch them. They spun and laughed with their hair blowing wild and their matching eyes shining. It made me think of my last session with Kate, when she'd asked me if my feelings for them had changed since Eli's death.

"_I don't understand what you mean…" I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans and met her eyes. _

"_Do you feel different about them, about those important to you, since your son's death?" _

"_You mean do I love them less?" _

"_Maybe. Maybe there's some animosity towards the living, some anger there…" she prompted, but I shook my head. _

"_I think that, if anything, it's made me love them more, you know?" _

_She smiled and scribbled onto her legal pad, and I felt myself relax again. _

Before I knew it Caroline was stumbling and giggling toward me. I placed her mouse ears back on her head and lifted her into my arms.

"That was fun," she laughed and then yawned.

"I think it's time we bid Mickey and Minnie adieu." Leah tapped our daughter's nose. Caroline nodded and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Can we come back again? For your birthday next year, Daddy?"

I laughed and patted her back gently. "We'll see, baby."

We left the park for our hotel and an early dinner, and then flew home the next morning. My mom picked us up from the airport and Caroline gave her a play-by-play of our trip, recounting every detail perfectly. I met Leah's eyes and smiled, knowing we were both thinking the same thing.

The trip had been good for us, for all three of us.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**Steph still owns them, yadda yadda. **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes are the best I could ask for. **

**Thank you for reading. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Eighteen<p>

The Fourth of July found us camping out in my parents' backyard with the whole damn family. It was hot and muggy, but at least the weather sort of cooperated by staying sunny, and the kids kept cool by running through the sprinkler or playing in the little inflatable pool that Charlie had insisted on buying for them.

Of course, by late afternoon Emmett was the one sprawled out in the tiny pool, water sloshing over the side with his every move and Andrew playing happily in the little bit of space left.

The girls protested loudly about it until Mom and Esme called them inside to help prepare dinner, though they only really cared about the bag of marshmallows that we'd picked up on the way over.

"But it's like puffy air, Mama! Can't we just eat a few?" Caroline tried to argue. Sami nodded her head in agreement. I bit back my laugh.

"That is _not_ what marshmallows are made of, Sweet," Edward said as he entered the kitchen and grabbed a platter of hamburgers and hotdogs to take to the grill.

"Edward. Do not ruin your daughter's childhood with the explanation of what marshmallows are made of. She'll never forgive you," Esme scolded him.

Caroline looked up at her father with big, curious eyes. He let out a defeated sigh and kissed her head. "Sugar, Sweet. Lots of sugar. So, no- none before dinner."

"Can we just have one?" Sami whispered once her uncle was out of earshot. We laughed and I gave them each one giant marshmallow and ushered them back outside to soak up the last bit of afternoon sun, and hopefully wear themselves out.

Charlie and Edward manned the grill while Emmett chased the girls through the yard. Eventually all three of them tired themselves out and we settled on the back porch for dinner.

As the sun went down, we set up our tents and prepared to watch fireworks. It was a longstanding family tradition to set up our lawn chairs on the roof and watch the town's fireworks display. It was the first year the girls were old enough to join us, so Edward and I, along with Charlie and Emmett, hauled everything up to the roof and settled in. Caroline and Sami were practically vibrating out of their seats as the first firework went off. I reached over and took Edward's hand, lacing our fingers together and setting them on the side of my chair.

The Fourth of July was Eli's favorite holiday. Most kids picked Christmas, but he always insisted that he loved the fireworks more than presents. We'd laughed and told him that he was going to save us a ton of money come Christmas.

"Eli liked those kinds," Sami said quietly as the sky filled with bright green. Emmett mussed her hair and smiled at me over his daughter's head. I smiled back, my heart feeling lighter than in had in some time. It felt good to hear his name, to hear about things he liked.

It felt good to remember.

Edward squeezed my hand, his eyes still on the sky and his lips curved up into a small smile.

Yeah, it felt good to remember.

xXx

"This is the best s'more I've ever, ever had," Caroline sighed and leaned back against Edward's chest. He laughed and ran his hand over the top of her messy hair.

"Let me try it," Edward teased and tried to grab the s'more from her. She quickly shoved the whole thing in her mouth and giggled, spraying crumbs all over herself and Edward in the process.

"Oops!" She brushed the crumbs off them and grinned up at her father, a smear of melted chocolate decorating one cheek. He just shook his head and lifted her up.

"Go get changed. You too, Sam," Edward instructed. We watched the girls run into the house, and Esme soon followed.

"You kids have fun, I fear I'm too old for camping," she said as she kissed my cheek.

"Are you sure it's not your allergies or something?" Emmett teased as he wrapped her in a big hug and lifted her off her feet.

Esme laughed lightly. "Your father never did believe that, did he?"

"No, but he still let you stay home," Edward answered with a grin.

"That he did." She smiled and kissed his cheek, then the rest of ours and headed home.

"I think me and this sleepy fella should head in, too." My mom stood up, holding a sleeping Andrew in her arms.

"Aw, Mom, do I hafta?" Charlie whined from his lawn chair. Mom aimed a swipe at the top of his head, but only succeeded in knocking his cap off.

"I didn't mean you, goober. But you should head in soon too, old man." She winked and took the baby inside just as Sami and Caroline came tearing down the stairs.

"Daddy? Can you tell us a story?" Sami crawled into Emmett's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"What kind of story?"

"One with princesses!"

"And dragons!" Caroline tossed out.

"And handsome princes!" Bella batted her eyelashes at him. Emmett just shook his head.

"Don't forget chivalrous, dependable, good-looking police chiefs!" Charlie hoisted himself out of his chair and waved to us all. "See you kids in the morning."

Our goodnights followed him and the girls snuggled deeper into their father's arms with content smiles. I moved my chair closer to Edward and laid my head on his shoulder, ready to listen to Emmett's story.

He kept us entertained for the next twenty minutes while our fire died out and the girls' eyes drooped. Bella and I laughed at handsome Prince Emerson and his faithful (and less good-looking, mind you) servant Edmund, who had "the messiest hair in all the land", according to Emmett, but Caroline and Sami were enchanted by Emmett's story. Eventually, they both fell asleep and the guys carefully tucked them into our little tents.

"Now the real party can begin!" Emmett grinned and pulled a cooler out from behind his chair. He passed around lukewarm beers that he'd obviously had all day.

"Emmett, you're _thirty_. You don't have to hide beer anymore," Bella said as she took a sip and made a face.

"Your dad scares me, okay?" Emmett muttered and skewered a few marshmallows.

Edward laughed and slipped his arm around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him. "He's not so bad," he whispered against my temple.

"Well, you're still alive, so I guess I'll agree," Emmett snorted and shoved the marshmallows in his mouth.

"I really don't want to think about what your mom said the other day. Tenfold? I can't handle another me!" Bella shook her head and glanced at her husband, who simply grinned in response.

"We'll just send her to live with Edward and Leah."

"Yeah, right. I'm the one that was a pregnant teen, remember?" I tossed my bottle cap at him and he swatted it away.

"That all worked out though. And, like Esme said, _you_ never got brought home by the cops!"

"Hopefully they'll stay as sweet and innocent as…" Edward trailed off as we glared at him. "I was just trying to be helpful." I felt him shrug underneath me and a chuckle shake through him.

"A valiant effort." Bella shook her head. "Come on." She stood and held out her hand to Emmett. "You know the kids will be up with the sun."

Edward doused the fire and we crawled into our tents, sprawling out the best we could on either side of our daughter. He reached over and took my hand, lacing our fingers together and resting them above Caroline's head.

"Remember the last time we went camping?" Edward asked quietly.

I stifled a giggle. "You tried to feel me up with your brother in the same tent!"

"You're the one that put on those tiny little shorts and expected me not to do anything about it!"

"Disgusting…" I muttered, but grinned. I _had _worn those shorts on purpose, plus the boys wanted to camp in the middle of August and it was hot, so I really had no choice.

"I'm pretty sure Emmett was awake the whole time," Edward admitted with a quiet laugh.

"Well, we'll never go camping without Bella or kids again, thank goodness." I squeezed his hand and rolled to my side.

"We'll have to go alone sometime…just the two of us," he replied in a whisper. "Me and you under the stars…"

"I think you're trying to seduce me. Are you?"

"Always."

I laughed loudly until Caroline stirred. She rolled onto her back and flung her arm over her face.

"Go to sleep, Teddy."

"Yes ma'am."

xXx

When I woke up a few hours later to use the bathroom Caroline was snuggled up to Edward's side and they were both snoring softly. I quietly unzipped the tent and made my way inside, not interested in 'popping a squat' as Emmett had tried to teach the girls earlier.

I'd hardly made it inside when I heard Bella's frazzled voice from the kitchen. I found her pacing the tile floor, bouncing Andrew in her arms, and trying to calm him down. he fussed and whined.

"Shhh. It's okay. Mommy's here," she whispered and kissed his head, but he only cried more.

"You okay?" She turned quickly at the sound of my voice, but didn't meet my eyes.

"Fine," she snapped and reached for a bottle on the counter.

"Bella? Your hands are shaking. What's wrong?" I stepped toward her and she thrust the crying baby into my arms. I situated him against my chest and his crying quieted. Bella frowned.

"I'm just a little out of it," she said as she sat at the table and put her head in her hands.

"Talk to me." I sat down across from her. Andrew's little hand went up to my neck, searching for hair to twirl. He settled with grasping the collar of my t-shirt.

"I saw his mother at the grocery store." Bella's eyes were on her son as she spoke. "She was working the checkout. She didn't even know who I was, but I could tell it was her. He has her eyes."

"Bella, _you_ are his mother." I reached across the table to take her shaking hand in mine. "You have legal documents that say so. Not to mention you've raised him since almost the day he was born!"

"I know, I know. I haven't been able to think about anything else since then. It's like a constant…_nightmare_ or something. I'm afraid that she's going to show up at my door demanding to have him back."

"She can't do that and you know it."

"I can't lose him, Leah," she whispered as tears formed in her dark eyes. I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat, because it was not the time to get emotional about what _I'd _lost.

"You won't." I squeezed her hand tightly.

"I haven't even told Emmett. He'd think I'm being ridiculous." Bella gave a little laugh and wiped her tears on the back of her hand.

"You are." I looked down at the sleeping baby in my arms in sighed. "But I get it."

"I know you do. That's why I didn't want to say anything to you."

"Bella…you're my sister. You're supposed to be able to talk to me about these things."

She sighed and rested her gaze on the table in front of us. "I don't want to upset you. I don't want to talk about my son when you…"

"Stop. It's not about me." I shook my head and stood up. I carried Andrew into the living room where his pack-n-play was and settled him in. When I returned to the kitchen Bella was still sitting at the table, deep in thought. "We really need you all to take off the kid gloves, you know."

"I know."

"We're doing better."

"I know that, too." She nodded.

"I don't think it will ever be like it used to be, but Edward and I are trying really hard."

"We can tell."

"And we want to be there for you guys. We _need_ to, Bella. It isn't fair to the rest of you."

Bella stood up and crossed the kitchen. She smiled as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I'll try to remember."

"Okay. Now, do you think they guys would notice if we don't come back? Sleeping outside really isn't my thing."

My sister laughed and slipped her arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure they'd notice," she said as she led me back outside. "Thank you."

"Anytime. I love you." I hugged her again before we parted ways and climbed into our tents again.

"Don't get all sappy on me, Leah." Bella winked before zipping up the tent. I smiled and did the same. I was feeling relieved as I settled in with my husband and daughter.

It was nice to be the one providing comfort for a change.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**SM owns all thing...except the poetry in this chapter. ;) **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes preread and beta and all around hand-hold.**

**Thanks for reading. **

* * *

><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Nineteen<p>

"I'm not ready for this."

"We have to be ready for it, Edward."

"I can't. I can't do it. Not yet."

"We don't have a choice. It has to happen today."

"Why?" He groaned and rolled to his side and turned his sleepy green eyes on me.

"Because. She's five years old. It's what happens when you turn five. You go to-"

"Don't say it!"

"-_kindergarten_," I finished and he pretended to wail into his pillow.

"Why are you crying, Daddy?" Caroline asked from our doorway.

"Daddy's sad you're going to kindergarten, that's all," I explained as she climbed into our bed.

"Why? He's not the one that has to go to school everyday!" She patted his head absently and he kissed her little hand.

"True. I'll be at work thinking of all the fun you'll be having in school," he said as he pulled her down and against his chest.

"Will I get to take naps? I like naps."

Edward chuckled and kissed her cheek. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, you'll get naps. And a _lot_ of other things. Go get dressed." I scooted her out of our bed and pulled the covers off Edward. He grabbed the sheet and rolled over.

"Hey, I don't have to go to school today!" he cried.

"Edward."

He sighed at the authority in my tone and sat up. "You want to see me cry, don't you?" Edward asked with a small smile.

"You're beautiful when you cry." I leaned over the bed and kissed him gently, using the same words he'd said to me months before at Alice's wedding, the jerk.

"You get dressed. It's _your _first day, too. Wear something sassy." He winked at me before slipping off the bed and into a pair of sweatpants. "I'm going to make coffee."

"Sassy?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know what I mean," he said with a wave of his hand. "Does she need to wear anything special?"

"I set out her uniform last night. Make sure she has white socks and clean sneakers. And a headband, the one with the little blue bow," I explained as I started the shower. The look on my husband's face was comical as I closed the bathroom door and shouted, "I love you!"

When I entered the kitchen, fully dressed and half-expecting Caroline to still be in her pajamas, I was pleasantly surprised. My daughter was dressed, coffee and breakfast were ready, and our lunches were being packed.

I really needed to start giving my husband more credit.

"Okay. I'm going to shower and we'll get ready. Emmett's already in tears, bring your camera." He kissed my cheek and left Caroline and I alone in the kitchen.

"You nervous, baby?"

She shrugged. "Not really. I'll get to play with Sami and I already know a lot of stuff."

I smiled. "You are very right. I hope you and Sami behave."

"We'll try, Mama." Caroline grinned and shoved a huge bite of waffles in her mouth.

"Try very hard. Are you finished? Go brush your teeth and we'll wait for Daddy to drive us."

Caroline ran off and I cleaned up our breakfast mess.

"Okay, you've got your backpack?" I heard Edward ask from the hallway.

"Check."

"Lunchbox?"

"Double check."

"Shoes are tied?"

"Yep."

"Ready to go?"

"I was born ready!" she yelled and jumped into his arms.

I laughed and joined them, grabbing my things in the process. We piled into Edward's truck, and he drove us the short way to Forks Elementary. The parking lot was packed, but we found a spot and waited for Emmett and Bella to show up with Sami.

Once they arrived we took pictures of the girls in their matching uniforms and had a passerby take one of all six of us. It was a little extravagant, but it was fun, and our babies would only go to kindergarten once.

"Be good, got it?" Emmett (whose eyes _were_ looking suspiciously red) bent down to Sami's level at the front steps of the school and adjusted her backpack.

Sami glanced up at her mother and then at Caroline. "Okay."

"I mean it. Cullens have never been in the same class before. Don't let us down."

"Talk about pressure, Em…" Edward muttered.

Caroline grinned from Sami's side. "I'll make sure she's good."

"Nice try, kid," he said as he kissed both of their cheeks and straightened himself out. "Have fun."

We each said our goodbyes and watched as they walked hand-in-hand up the steps and into the school.

"Poor Mrs. Michaels," Bella said as the girls turned a corner and we couldn't see them anymore. "She won't know what hit her. Talk about wolves in sheeps' clothing."

We laughed and made our way back to the parking lot and parted ways.

"Oh!" I yelled as Edward pulled into the high school parking lot. "I didn't write her a note!"

"I took care of it, babe." Edward grinned at me and I felt my heart melt a little bit. "I might have even left you one. No lipstick kiss, though. Hope that's not too disappointing."

I leaned over and kissed him quickly. "You're too good to be true sometimes."

"I'll remember you said that next time I screw up," he laughed and got out of the truck to open my door for me. "Have a good day. I love you."

I kissed my husband again. "I love you. Thank you." I waved as he drove away and turned to find myself facing a few of who I knew were my new senior students. "Get a move on!"

I laughed to myself and made my way to my classroom. Jacob and Rose greeted me in the hallway and I realized how little I'd seen them over the summer. Of course, I couldn't find it in myself to feel guilty because of all the progress Edward and I had made.

By lunch time I was exhausted from going over rules and procedures with my high school students and just wanted to sit down and have some peace and quiet.

Of course, a place like that was nowhere to be found inside a school, and I couldn't very well spend the first day not having lunch with everyone else. The lounge was packed, but I found a seat with Angela and Rose, who were chatting over their summer vacations. Rose knew that both Edward and I were seeing Kate because I'd told her over the one lunch date we managed to make in late June, but she didn't pry.

It was my giggle that brought them out of their conversation. It turned to a full-on snort as I tried to hide the little slip of paper that Edward had slipped into my lunchbox.

"Spill it! You're beet-red, it has to be good!" Rose finally managed to snag the note. She laughed and passed it on to Angela.

"Oh my _God_. Your husband is adorable," Angela sighed and handed me back the note. I read it again and wiped away the tears that my laughing had brought on.

_Like stars glowing high,_

_The moon shines bright in your eyes._

_Let's have sex tonight._

"He's a pervert, is what he is," I giggled again and stuffed the note in my pocket. "I think I'll be making lunches from now on."

"Be sure to slip some naughty pictures into his lunch while you're at it," Angela teased, and Rose grinned, adding, "Or maybe your panties!"

I wrinkled my nose. "Not my thing. I'm sure Ben would appreciate it if you were to do it though."

"You know, it's just not as much fun when we're talking about me." She threw her hands up as if to say "I give up" and we laughed again.

"Edward's totally getting laid tonight, isn't he?" Rose asked as we made our way back to our rooms. I raised an eyebrow at her and thought about the note in my pocket.

"Yeah, probably." I grinned and stepped into my classroom to send Edward a quick text.

EPOV

_You're lucky I love you, perv._

I chuckled at Leah's text and sent her a quick reply- _No haiku? I'm hurtt- _before going back to the reading I was supposed to be doing for my class. I'd started classes a week before, and already the coursework was starting to get to me. Thankfully, I had Jared to help take over a lot of the responsibility at the shop when school was taking me out of the building two days a week.

Today was no different. I sat in the library of Port Angeles College highlighting and taking notes, like I was back in high school again. The people in my classes were nice, though it was a little funny when we introduced ourselves the first day and mentioned my wife and daughter. Leah always told me I was oblivious to other women's reactions to me, but I couldn't help it- I only had eyes for her.

"Is your wife sending you dirty texts?" Maggie, a little redhead in my class asked after a moment of watching me try to text and read at the same time. I looked around the table at our little group and felt my ears burn.

"Ah, no. I wrote her a poem this morning, she was just responding to it," I explained.

"That's so sweet. I wish my boyfriend did stuff like that," the blonde to her left, Charlotte, said with a sigh. "The only note I get is 'don't forget I like grape jelly'."

We laughed and it was quiet for a moment.

"Actually, I wrote her a dirty haiku, so she called me a pervert and told me she was having dinner with her sister tonight," I confessed. Garrett, the only other guy in our group nodded appreciatively and held out his fist for me to bump. I did so with a grin and then went back to the page I'd been reading for the last twenty minutes or so.

"Ugh. I can't do this anymore." Charlotte threw down her highlight and closed her book. "I'm going to grab something to eat, you guys want to come?"

"I'm good, thanks," I replied, but the others followed her. Leah had stopped her messages so I assumed she was back in class. With the peace and quiet of the library I finished one assignment and got through half of another. Then I realized what time it was and remembered that I'd driven both Leah and Caroline to school, and that I'd need to book it if I wanted to get to car line on time.

I passed my classmates and gave them a quick wave before climbing into my truck and heading back to town. I picked Caroline and Sami up first and took them with me to the high school to pick up Leah. They ran through the empty halls, giggling and yelling, while I caught a brief glimpse of my future.

It was fucking scary.

"Hey!" Rose came out of her classroom as we passed and greeted me with a smile.

"Hey, yourself. How was the first day?" I asked as the girls kept running in circles.

"Long," she sighed. "It's always the worst. They seem like they had a good day." She nodded to Caroline and Sami who were giving an impromptu dance recital to a wall of lockers and laughed.

"Yeah, I'm getting ready to turn them over. The last fifteen minutes have been torture on my ears."

"Uncle Edward doesn't like our singing," Sami explained with a wide grin.

Caroline nodded from her side. "It hurts his head."

"Okay, okay. Go find your mom or something…see you later, Rose." I gave her a wave and followed two sets of little feet to Leah's classroom.

"There you are!" I heard Leah cry. She had both of the girls in her grasp when I finally reached the classroom. "How was it?"

"It was great!"

"We got to color!"

"I wrote my name!"

"We got to take a nap next to each other!"

"Tucker is in our class!"

"What? Again?" I frowned and the girls dissolved into giggles.

"I liked my note, Daddy. I forgot to tell you," Caroline said with a grin.

"Hey! My Daddy wrote me a note, too!" Sami interjected.

"You have very special daddies." Leah smiled and kissed my cheek. "Let's go meet your mom and Andrew at the park, and then we'll all have dinner."

Leah led us out of the school and I drove us to the park where she and Bella talked about their day and the kids played. I read some more, stretched out at in the grass with Leah's hand playing idly with my hair. It felt like we were younger, like one of our lazy days in high school where I would study and she would draw, though she hardly ever touched me then.

It was nice.

When it got late enough we met Emmett at the diner and had a loud and amusing dinner. No one seemed to mind that the kids chased each other around and nearly knocked things off tables. Sue sure didn't care, so we didn't scold them…much.

As soon as the first yawn appeared we said goodnight and made our way home. Once Caroline was in bed Leah and I collapsed on the couch with the television on the background.

"So, your day was okay?" I pulled her knees into my lap and she nodded.

"Busy. I think Carrie had fun today."

"Yeah. Mrs. Michaels said they were angels. I told her to give it a few days." I grinned and my wife laughed.

"I think they'll be fine." She threaded her fingers through mine and kissed the back of my hand. "How was your day?"

"Good. I might just get the hang of this 'school' thing after all."

"Of course you will. You love to study, you nerd," she teased.

"I do, don't I? I was thinking about that earlier. How I used to study and you would draw and we were just together."

"Yeah, but we weren't _together_."

"I was so in love with you," I whispered. Her head snapped up and her dark eyes met mine.

"Shut up."

"I mean it. You were just…you. You loved your art and your family and nothing else mattered. I loved that about you."

"Not much has changed." She grinned and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"That's true. And I still love you." I grinned back.

"Good. I was worried some hot little thing in one of your classes would steal you away." Leah wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer.

"Never." I ran my hands up her back and drew her into a kiss.

"Mmhm. I'll remember that. Now, let's go make that haiku come true, huh?"

"Oh, yes ma'am." I laughed and swung her up into my arms. "Don't expect those everyday."

"I only want you, Teddy," she whispered with a soft kiss under my ear.

"Well, you've got me, babe," I said as I set her on her feet in our bedroom and closed the door.

"Good, now take off your pants."

I laughed and obliged, feeling incredibly lighthearted and most of all…happy.


	21. Chapter Twenty

**Hi. I don't own them. **

**ThatIsRiddik and killerlashes are my dream team. **

**I love you.**

* * *

><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Twenty<p>

One Wednesday in September, I found my wife sitting across the hall from our son's room, staring at the door. I sat next to her and took her hand in mine, ready to conquer the daunting task that Kate had put on the table at our last session.

"We have to do it," I whispered and kissed her shoulder.

"I can't, Edward. Not yet."

"But Kate said-"

"I don't care what Kate said! I _can't_." Leah stood up and stomped back into the bedroom.

"Fine. Not yet," I muttered to myself and followed her, ready to apologize. I gave up when I realized she was already in the shower.

"_I think it would be a good idea to think about cleaning out Eli's things." _

"_What do you mean?" Leah's hand was suddenly tight in mine, so tight my knuckles ground together. _

"_His room. Clothes. Toys. Go through them. Donate and give away what you don't want. Keep what you can't part with." _

"_But…" _

"_I understand it's hard. It doesn't have to happen all at once." _

Kate kept her word when she said it didn't have to happen all at once. Each week we did a little bit of packing, though it never got any easier. We didn't know what to keep or throw away sometimes. It often got to the point where we just dropped everything where it was and closed the door, eager to find something else to occupy our time.

With a heavy sigh I got dressed and woke Caroline up, made breakfast and got her ready for school. We had a discussion about her behavior over her oatmeal, since she'd come home with a note the day before. Apparently, if it was on yellow or red paper, it wasn't good.

Thankfully, this one was yellow.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I'll do better today."

"I know you will, Sweet." I kissed her forehead and ushered her off to put her shoes on.

"Can you take Carrie to school?" Leah stormed into the kitchen and grabbed her coffee and lunch off the counter that I'd already gotten ready for her.

"Yeah, of course. Can we-"

"I have a faculty meeting. I'll see you tonight," she said before kissing my cheek quickly and practically running out of the kitchen.

"-talk?" I finished lamely to the empty kitchen.

My daughter frowned up at me. "Who are you talking to, Daddy?"

"Nobody, baby. Let's go." I ushered her outside and to my truck.

I dropped Caroline off at school and then headed to Port Angeles for my own class. After a few failed attempts at getting a hold of Leah I sent her a text telling her to have a good day and that I loved her.

Guilt rushed over me as I passed the cemetery on my way to school. The anniversary of Eli's death had loomed over us for weeks, and now that it was almost here I was completely unprepared. I made a mental note to buy flowers, and to later convince Leah to come out with me. It had been months since I'd visited his grave, but I was doing better these days. I _wanted_ to go, even if it was just to take flowers or just to sit and talk to him.

The parking lot at school was already packed. I had two classes to get through before I could work things out with my wife. I knew that trying over the phone or through a text was pointless. It would only piss her off more if we didn't do it face-to-face.

My first class was fairly uneventful, and after a quick lunch with my study group I was on to my second one. I was finally getting used to being back at school and working it into my schedule at the garage.

Leah and I were working well with the changes. We still saw Kate weekly, though recently we'd been going together to cut down on our time away from Caroline. We'd taken Kate's advice and started doing special weekly projects with our daughter to help her from being angry or upset. That meant trips to the beach or the art store, or even just a movie or dinner somewhere that wasn't at home.

They were on my mind as I tried to concentrate in my second class. Thirty minutes in my phone buzzed in my pocket and I snuck a glance at it. Sami's face flashed across the screen. _Bella. _

I ignored the call and stuck the phone back in my pocket, only to have it go off again two minutes later. I tried to ignore it again, but the text message she sent me caused worry to bubble up so I quickly excused myself.

_Emergency. Please call me. _

Bella answered on the first ring, sounding breathless.

"Edward?"

"Bella? What's going on? Is Leah-"

"Edward I need to you to come to the hospital. Please," she practically pleaded. I could hear the pain in her voice and it made my chest ache.

"What's going on?" I tugged a hand through my hair and paced the hall in front of my classroom. "Where's Leah? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. I'm sorry; I don't mean to worry you. It's just-," she cut off with a sob.

"Bella. What's_ wrong_?"

"It's Sue. I don't- I don't know what happened. No one will tell us what's going on and Dad isn't here yet and I can't get a hold of Emmett…" she trailed off, her voice catching again.

"Okay. Okay, I'm on my way. I'll stop by Emmett's office. Can you- can you tell Leah I'll be there soon?"

"I will," she answered before hanging up. I snuck back into class and grabbed my things, planning on emailing my professor to explain things, and drove back to Forks in a daze. Emmett wasn't answering his cell and his secretary said he was out of the office, so I went straight to the hospital hoping to find him already there.

I practically ran into the emergency room and made my way to the front desk.

"I'm looking for Sue Swan, can you tell me where she is?" I panted.

The woman at the desk hardly looked up from her computer. "Are you immediate family?"

"I'm her son-in-law and-"

"Edward!" I heard Bella call my name and I immediately turned, only to have her slam into me. Her arms were tight around my waist and her slim body shook against mine.

"Hey," I whispered and rested my hand on the back of her head, holding her against me. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry." She pulled away and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "Dad's here. He and Leah are with Mom. They're still running tests but she's unconscious."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and let her lead me down the hall. As long as they'd been a family, Leah and Bella both had trouble calling their respective parents "Mom" or "Dad". It was nerve-wracking to hear Bella say it now, not knowing what was going on with Sue.

Down the hall I could see Charlie and Leah standing outside a room, talking with a doctor. Charlie shook the doctor's hand before he walked away and then pulled Leah into a hug. Her eyes met mine over Charlie's shoulder and I could practically see her sigh with relief.

"Go." Bella pushed me away from her and I quickly made my way to my wife. Her face crumpled and my throat tightened at the sight. I pulled her against me, my arms wrapped tight around her, all thoughts from this morning completely gone.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly as she sobbed against my chest. "What happened?" I asked Charlie over her head.

"A stroke. She was at the diner by herself just after she opened. Thank God for Mrs. Cope. She'd stopped to get coffee on her way to school and called 911," he explained with a subdued voice. Leah's arms tightened around me.

"Will she be okay?" I asked, risking a glance at Bella and then my wife.

"Still running tests," Charlie answered and ran a hand over his face. "She hasn't woken up yet."

"I need some air." Leah pushed herself away from me and started down the corridor. I followed her quickly until we were both standing outside the emergency room doors. She wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from me, her shoulders shaking again. I slipped my arms around her from behind; I was all too familiar with what I knew she was feeling.

She tried to pry my arms away from her, but I held fast. A sob ripped through her chest as she finally pushed me away.

"I can't _do_ this!" Leah cried and began to walk away again.

"Leah!" I called her name and followed her around the corner until we were out of view from everyone.

"I can't, Edward. I can't be in there. I can't watch her lie there. Please don't make me. Take me home, I just want to go home!" she yelled, fists gripping my shirt, tears streaming down her cheeks the whole time.

"You have to, babe. She needs you and-"

"No!" Her fists hit my chest once, twice, and a third time before I grabbed them in both of my hands and held them tightly. "I _can't_. You don't understand!"

Her eyes met mine and I could see my own pain reflected in them. Guilt flashed across her face as she realized what she'd said.

Because I _did_ understand.

I'd been here before.

I'd watched my father die here.

We'd been here with our son, not even a year ago.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and rested her head on my chest. "I'm sorry." Her arms wrapped around my neck and she held herself to me.

"Shh. It'll be fine," I tried to soothe her, though my worry was making it hard to. I didn't know what was going to happen. I knew enough about strokes that Sue _could_ be okay, though what her life would be like was a different story.

"What if it isn't?" Leah's breath was warm on my neck.

"Then we'll deal with it," I told her with my lips to her hair. "Where are the kids?"

"Your mom picked them all up." She pulled away and wiped her tears away. "We should go back in."

"Are you sure?" I brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah. I need to be there with her." She took my hand and we went back inside, finding Emmett and Bella outside Sue's room.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, tightening my hold on Leah.

"She woke up." Bella smiled. "She wanted to see Dad."

Leah laughed quietly and leaned into my side, her body sagging with relief. Charlie emerged a few moments later with a small smile.

"Can we see her?" Emmett asked.

Charlie shook his head. "Not yet. She's still a little out of it. Go get some coffee or lunch. Hug your kids or something."

"Daddy…" Bella reached for her father and he hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"I mean it. Go. We'll be fine. I'll call you in a bit," he said with a wave of his hand. We weren't going to argue with him, but instead of leaving we simply made our way to the hospital cafeteria and found a table by the window where we quietly sipped disgusting coffee.

"Did anyone call Seth?" I asked after a moment.

Leah nodded against my shoulder. "He'll be in tomorrow. I'm going to take the rest of the week off and pick him up at the airport."

We sat for a while making plans about the diner and the kids, wondering who we could call so my mom wouldn't have to handle it all. After about an hour Charlie found us, mustache twitching and hands on his hips.

"I should've known. You four never listen," he muttered and sat down with us. "She's resting now. Go. Home."

We grumbled for a moment before he gave us his "cop glare" and we finally gave in.

"I'll bring you some clothes," Bella told him as we said our goodbyes. We parted ways in the parking lot, Leah drove home while I went to pick up Caroline and fill my mom in on Sue's condition.

"Is my Mema sick?" Caroline asked on our way home.

"She'll be okay, baby." I glanced in the rearview mirror and watched her little eyebrows knit together in worry.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Papa's taking really good care of her, okay?"

My daughter didn't seem convinced and finding Leah crying in the kitchen didn't help either.

"Mama?" Her little voice wavered and Leah quickly wiped her tears away and pulled our daughter into her arms. "Why are you sad?"

"I'm just worried, that's all," Leah explained as she brushed Caroline's hair from her face and kissed her cheek.

"About Mema?"

"Yeah, but she'll be fine. I promise." Caroline hugged her mother tightly before slipping out of her grasp and down the hall. I pulled Leah up and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. "I need to lie down for a little while."

I nodded. "Yeah. I'll start dinner." She touched my face softly before leaving me alone in the kitchen. I started dinner and played a game of CandyLand with Caroline, before waking Leah up. Charlie called to let us know that Sue was awake and alert. She was even sitting up and talking.

Caroline seemed pleased with the news and went off to make Sue a card after dinner while Leah and I cleaned up the kitchen.

"How do you manage to use every utensil ever when you cook?" Leah muttered and side-eyed me.

"It's a talent." I shrugged. She laughed quietly and dried her hands.

"I'm sorry about this morning," she whispered. I put down the pot I'd been scrubbing and turned to her.

"We don't have to talk about it right now." I frowned down at her.

"No." Leah sighed and rested her hands on my chest. "You're right. Kate's right."

I leaned down and kissed her gently and she leaned into me, searching for comfort. I gave it to her, wrapping her up in my arms and holding her tightly.

"It's just...this week. I wasn't ready for it and now…"

"I know, babe," I sighed. "I thought we could go out there this weekend. Make a day of it."

She pulled back to look at me, blinking hard like she was trying to figure out if I was for real.

"I mean it," I said with a quiet laugh.

"Okay," she replied before kissing me again and going back to the dishes. We worked silently for a few moments before Caroline burst into the kitchen with her drawing and Leah abandoned our cleaning. I found them when I was finished, curled up in our bed with a tattered copy of _Charlotte's Web _between them. I crawled into bed with them and listened as my wife read one of her favorite stories to our daughter. As Caroline's eyes closed I took the book from Leah and laid it on the nightstand.

"What time is Seth getting in?" I asked as we settled in.

"Three o'clock. I'm going to take Caroline with me, that way you can work. I know you have things to catch up on."

"Oh, yeah. I guess so," I admitted. It was true, but it didn't really matter to me at the moment.

All that really mattered was that my family felt safe…and I was going to do everything in my power to make that happen.


	22. Chapter TwentyOne

**Still don't own them.**

**The epilogue will be up later tonight. **

* * *

><p>All the King's Horses – Chapter Twenty-One<p>

Caroline and I slept late the next morning, snuggled together in my and Edward's bed while he went to work. I called my dad when we woke up to check on my mother and he let me know that she was ready for visitors. I promised that Caroline and I would come by before we went to pick up Seth.

"You have to be very quiet when we go in, okay? Mema is going to be a little tired, so we don't want to cause too much trouble," I told Caroline as we stood outside my mother's room.

"Can I hug her?" she whispered.

"Yeah, you can hug her. I'll help you." I squeezed her hand and pushed the door open, completely unprepared for what I found on the other side.

"_And then Mary Lennox was led up a broad staircase and down a long corridor and up a short light of steps…"_ Edward sat next to my mother's bed reading quietly. Her eyes were closed and her hair was pulled back from her face. Machines beeped quietly around her, but she looked peaceful enough. Edward stopped reading when he saw me and Mom followed his gaze.

"Hi," she said softly. Both of Caroline's hands gripped mine so I moved closer to Mom.

"You scared us." I kissed her forehead. She touched my cheek and smiled.

"I'm sorry," Mom replied. "Hey, sweet girl."

Caroline looked up at me nervously, so I lifted her to the side of Mom's bed. Mom rested her hand on my daughter's and squeezed it gently.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not even a little."

Edward smiled at me from across Mom's bed and I jerked my head to the door.

"We'll be right back," I told my mom, who nodded in response.

Edward stood and we both walked quickly out of the room.

"I thought you had to work." I put my hands on either side of his face, and then let them trail down over his cheeks, neck, and shoulders, until they rested on his chest.

"I did." He smiled.

"But…you're already missing so much with school. You can't keep taking off! "

"The guys understand, Leah," he explained with a frown and brushed my hair behind my ear. "Your dad called me this morning. He had to go to traffic court and didn't want to leave her alone."

"Did Dad leave the book for you?"

"No, I took your copy. I know it's-"

"-her favorite," I finished for him, my heart fluttering in my chest because of the simple fact that Edward knew my mom's favorite book.

"I want you to stay here with her today. I'll take Caroline and we'll pick up Seth, okay?"

"What? I'm sure you have school or something to catch up on, I-"

"Just let me do this for you. Please?" His voice was quiet as his hands slipped around the back of my neck. I studied him for a long moment, all hopeful green eyes and crooked smile, before nodding in agreement.

"Okay." I kissed him gently. "Okay."

"She's doing well today. We've talked a lot." Edward rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks.

"About?"

"You, of course." He grinned and brushed his lips against mine. "I should get going. I know how Seth hates to wait."

"Edward? Leah?" We heard from behind us. I stiffened and Edward's arm went around my shoulders, his hand tight on my arm.

"Dr. Denisov, hi," Edward greeted the tall blonde with a tight smile.

"Is everything all right? Is-" Tanya's blue eyes darted from Edward to me worriedly.

"It's my mother. She had a stroke, she's doing well though, thank you." I nodded and smiled, though Edward's grip was beginning to hurt.

Tanya smiled softly and reached out to touch my hand. "It's good to see you both."

We nodded in agreement and watched her walk away. I turned and Edward's hand fell to his side.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, reaching up again to rub my shoulder.

"It's okay." I squeezed his hand and led him back into the room where my mother and daughter were whispering quietly to each other. Edward scooped Caroline up and kissed my mother's forehead.

"I'll call you soon," he said to me as they left. Caroline gave us a small wave just as the door closed.

"He's a good boy," Mom laughed from behind me. "Been here all morning, you know."

"I didn't know he was coming." I smiled and took the seat Edward had been in and picked up the book. "Do you want me to read some more?"

"No, sweetheart. Just sit with me for a while." She held out her hand and I took it, squeezing gently.

"Okay. Anything you want."

"He loves you so much," she said after a moment.

I chuckled quietly and the corner of her eyes crinkled with her smile.

"I know. I was just a little surprised he was here…"

"It's hard for him, and for you. I know that." She rested her head back and closed her eyes.

"Are you tired? We don't have to talk anymore."

"I like talking to you," Mom whispered. "I hate this place, too."

"_I'm sorry," Dr. Denisov said softly. She touched my hand and walked away, leaving Edward and I alone in the room. I glanced at Edward, his pale face blank, green eyes wet with tears. _

_It was a moment before he moved and slipped his arms around me. I fell against him as the pain in my chest grew until it felt that I was coming apart. Edward held me and stroked my hair while we tried to process what the doctor had just told us. The words were just a jumbled mess in my head, but I knew enough to understand what she'd said: our son was never going to wake up. _

xXx

The next few days passed in a blur. We took shifts at the diner and with the kids. Bella and I cleaned the house and prepared for Mom's homecoming. She was feeling better and the doctor had assured us that she would most likely make a full recovery. The stroke was a small one, though it was enough to help her focus more on her health and to take more opportunities for help. Seth helped out at the garage a few times until he stained his designer jeans and Edward sent him back to the diner where all he had to do was take orders.

On the day my mother came home from the hospital Edward and I drove to the small cemetery on the outskirts of town to visit our son. We carried flowers, artificial and real ones, as we walked hand-in-hand down the gravel path. Edward stopped just a few feet from Eli's headstone. His hand shook in mine.

"We don't have to…"

"No. We do. _I_ do."

I nodded and continued walking, and then let go of Edward's hand so I could kneel in the grass. My fingers trailed over his name and I brushed away a few leaves that covered the stone. I placed the flowers under his headstone and stood up. Edward removed the faded artificial flowers from the urn and replaced them. He walked a little ways back down the path to throw the other ones away and I watched him go. I always felt silly bringing artificial flowers, but I wanted the area around my son to look nice. So many people lay forgotten, and I didn't want him to be one of them.

When Edward came back he sat in the grass and I followed, leaning my head on his shoulder and sighing softly.

"I can't believe it's been a year," he murmured into my hair. I took his hand in mine and closed my eyes.

"Thank you for coming with me," I replied just as quietly.

My husband kissed my hair and tightened his grip on my hand. I didn't even notice that I was crying until my tears were falling onto our intertwined hands. Edward let go of my hand and pulled me against his chest, holding and soothing me. I felt his warm hand on my cheek and I let my emotions take over. The week had been a roller-coaster, and now we were at the top of the biggest dip of all.

I knew that, with Edward by my side, it was okay to fall.

xXx

EPOV

"I need to…I need to go to the shop for a little while, is that okay?" I asked once Leah and I arrived home later that day. "I know we're supposed to have dinner at your parents…"

"It's fine, Teddy. Do what you need to do. Don't be too late." She'd smiled and kissed me.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. We're just going to have dinner and come home. And I have a few errands to run…" she trailed off and bit her lip while I tried to catch her gaze.

"You okay?" I felt myself frown.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. Go. We'll be waiting for you." Leah smiled.

"I love you," I told her before kissing her one last time.

True to my word, I went to the garage. A few of the guys were still hanging around, doing odd jobs and cleaning up. I ushered them all away with a smile and promised to see them in the morning. I found myself in the corner with Dad's old car, content for the time being.

I felt bad leaving Leah for the night, but the day had done a number on me. While part of me was glad we were doing better and were able to talk and remember our son, the rest of me still _missed_ him- still hurt more than I could imagine. Sue's stay in the hospital had put so much in perspective for me, however. I couldn't take things for granted anymore. I wouldn't.

I worked for hours on the old engine. I worked until my fingers were stained and my eyes were blurry. The sun had set, and the stars were brighter than I'd seen them in a long time. I had a sudden urge to lay outside with my girls under the sky and just _be_.

After I'd cleaned myself up the best I could I made my way home to them and found them lying on the couch together. Leah was sketching with Caroline's head in her lap.

"She's asleep?" I asked, disappointed.

"Just for a few minutes," Leah answered, though she didn't look up from her sketch. "Something wrong?"

"No, I wanted to do something with the two of you. I didn't realize it was so late," I explained as I kissed the top of her head and then lifted Caroline from the couch. I took her to bed and tucked her in, then trudged to my bedroom.

Leah was already there, sitting on the edge of the bed staring at her hands. She looked up when I came into the room, with a strange look on her face.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked as slipped into the bathroom.

"Fine," she sighed. I peeked out of the bathroom, trying to read her once more. She looked… guilty.

"What's wrong?" I stepped to her, cupping her face and bringing her gaze to mine.

"Just tired, like I said." She took my hands from her face and stood up. "You should shower. You smell." Leah gave me a small smile and pushed me toward the bathroom. I started the shower and turned to take off my clothes, though a little box in the trashcan gave me the answer to Leah's guilty face and weird mood. I picked it up with shaking hands, the three letters printed on the outside of the box sending my mind into overdrive.

"Leah?" I called hoarsely. I cleared my throat and tried. "Hey, babe?"

"Hm?"

I stepped out of the bathroom feeling dazed, and held the box up. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Shit," she muttered and fell against the bed. I sat next to her and leaned forward, the little box still in my hand.

"So?" I turned to her, feeling nauseated.

"I'm not. It was negative."

"Oh. Okay." I sighed with relief and tossed the box on the nightstand. She didn't speak for a moment and I risked a glance at her. Her back was stiff and her eyes stared absently ahead. "Did you want to be?"

"No, of course not." Leah shook her head, but still didn't meet my eyes. "I mean…I don't know. We never talked about it after…"

"I always thought we'd have more, but then…I just don't know."

"I know. Believe me, I know. It's been driving me crazy all week."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't know how you'd react," she muttered. I sighed and took her hand, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles and resting it on my thigh.

"I love you, Leah. I love you more than anything in the world. All I ever wanted was to have a family with you. And then we had it, you know? It was perfect. But now-"

"-now I'm not so sure that more kids are for us," she finished quietly.

We were quiet for a long moment until I turned to her and pulled her chin toward me.

"Sometimes I think about it, but it's almost like…liked we'd be forgetting him if we had another baby."

"Or that a new baby would be resented because…"

"Yeah," I agreed without having to hear her finish her sentence. We fell silent once again until I finally found the courage to tell her what I'd _also_ been thinking since I found the little box.

"I don't want to give up on the idea just yet," I admitted.

Her little intake of breath gave me the answer I needed: she wasn't ready to give it up yet, either.

"That's nice to hear," she whispered before pressing her forehead to mine.

"So…maybe?"

"Maybe," she affirmed.

I kissed her gently, like we were sealing a pact for the future. We weren't quite ready to move on, but maybe one day we would try again.

"Hey, are those old blankets still in the hall closet?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" Leah eyed me warily.

"I'm going to get one, you wake up Caroline."

"She just fell asleep! She has school tomorrow." Leah frowned.

"I know, I know. I just…I want to do something. Meet me outside." I got up and quickly strode through the house to the closet. I grabbed a blanket and took it outside. Leah arrived a few moments later with Caroline stumbling behind her.

"Daddy's crazy," my daughter yawned and collapsed onto the blanket with me. Leah laughed quietly and joined us.

"I just wanted to show you something, Sweet." I kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer.

"What did you want to show me?" she snuggled into my side and looked up at me with her big, dark eyes.

"How much I love you." I grinned.

"I know how much you love me," Caroline replied and turned her eyes to the sky. Of course my little star knew how much I loved her. Leah smiled over her head and then leaned over to kiss me gently. "You love me forever and ever. And I love you that much, too."

I nodded in agreement, grateful for what I had right there in front of me. So many months ago it had seemed like I was losing it all. Now, things felt completely different. Caroline and Leah knew how much I loved them, they knew what they meant to me. Eli had always known how much he was loved, even from his very first breath. It was that small comfort that kept me going everyday. In that moment with my wife and daughter, the future seemed endless. Maybe there would be more kids, maybe there wouldn't be. Either way, I knew we would do it all together, because we may have been broken…but nothing was beyond repair, especially not us.


	23. Epilogue

**Hi, again. Stephenie still owns all these things. **

**I'll see you at the bottom. **

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><p>All the King's Horses – Epilogue<p>

"Up, pease," her little voice asked sweetly. I opened my eyes and squinted at her. "I say pease," she pouted.

"How high?" I asked as I pulled my knees up and lifted my feet into the air. She grinned and balanced her little body on my feet and held her arms out like she was flying.

"All da way, Daddy!"

I laughed as she squealed and tried to balance, though inevitably falling forward. I caught her and kissed her cheeks loudly, reveling in her happiness.

"Are you having fun, Lucy Goosey?" Leah shifted on the blanket and rested her head on my shoulder. Lucy simply giggled and ran off, barefoot, in search of her sister. I kissed my wife's head and closed my eyes again, listening to our daughters playing behind us.

"_What do you think?" I grinned and pulled Leah to the back corner of the garage where my father's Mustang sat. _

"_It's amazing." She touched the freshly painted hood gently and smiled. "You're amazing. He'd be so proud of you." _

"_You think?" I asked and opened the driver side door and pulled her in. Leah nodded and leaned in to kiss me. _

"_Definitely. There's just one problem though…" she trailed off and eyed the backseat suspiciously. _

"_Which is?" I raised an eyebrow at her and she grinned. _

"_I don't think a car seat will fit back there." She gestured to the back with a nod of her head. _

"…_car seat? Like…a baby seat?" I felt my heart rate speed up at her silence until she finally nodded and put me out of my misery. I drew her into a kiss and held her as close as I could without smothering her. "A baby." _

"_Yep," she whispered against my lips. It was almost two years after Eli's death before we even thought about trying again. We'd been trying for a while with no luck, and were almost ready to accept that maybe more kids _weren't _for us. _

"_Yep," I repeated, brushing her hair from her face. It was cheesy to think it, but she really was glowing. "I love you." _

Leah moved again, and sat up against my bent legs. She pulled a sketchbook into her lap and drew while I watched. Their faces came to life beneath her fingers and I felt myself smile. The first person she drew that wasn't me was Eli. It was right before Lucy was born, and I don't think she even noticed that she'd done it until Caroline pointed it out. After that it happened all the time, but she didn't seem to mind it.

"Oh man, that look," I commented on the portrait of Lucy she'd just finished. Her face was set in an adorable pout, her hair in complete disarray (sometimes it rivaled even mine). "I am not looking forward to her being a teenager."

"She gets it from you," Leah chuckled and closed her sketchbook, then leaned down to kiss me.

"That's scary," I muttered. Truth was, Lucy got a lot of things from me: auburn hair and green eyes, though her stubbornness was purely from her mother…mostly.

"Can we let them go now, Daddy?" Caroline's shadow covered my face and I sat up so I could see her better. I glanced from her to Leah and then to the bundle of green balloons tied to the railing of our back deck.

"What do you think, Mama? Is it time?" Leah smiled and nodded as we both stood and made our way through the grass to our home.

"_Are you ready?" I asked from the bedroom door. Leah turned, with a small smile on her face. _

"_Just saying goodbye," she whispered and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. I stepped inside the room and took one last look at the bright green walls, the only trace of our son left. We'd eventually donated most of his things, though we kept the items that were important to us, or given some to Andrew and Alice and Jasper's little boy, CJ. _

"_You know it's not goodbye," I told her and slipped my arms around her from behind. I rested my hands over her rounded belly._

"_I know. It's just…moving on is a little scary." She turned to me and rested her head on my chest. I brushed my hand over her hair and kissed the top of her head. _

"_Good thing we're doing it together," I teased and took her hand in mine. "C'mon." I led Leah out of the bedroom and eventually out of the house. Our new home was just a few streets over, and three houses down from Emmett and Bella. It was bigger, with an extra room for an office, and a big backyar- the perfect place for a fresh start._

I untied the twelve green balloons and passed them around, keeping the majority tight in my own hand. Today our son would have been twelve years old. He'd been gone for almost five years, but we continued our tradition of releasing balloons that we'd started the first year after he'd died. We each wrote notes and stuffed them into the balloons, then had them blown up. It probably wasn't the best thing for the environment, but it gave us a little bit of peace for the day.

"I wan' two!" Lucy held up a chubby little hand. I laughed and handed her another one.

"Ready?" They nodded in response. "Happy birthday, Eli," I said softly as I let go of my balloons. Leah and Caroline's followed, but Lucy gripped hers tightly still.

"Luce, you have to let them go so they can get to Heaven!" Caroline laughed and leaned down to hug her little sister.

"But I wan' dem." Her green eyes filled with tears as she looked from me to Leah.

"You can keep them if you want, sweetie," I said as I lifted her up and kissed her cheek.

She frowned and looked at the string in her hand, and then sighed heavily. "Bye, b'oons," she said quietly as she opened her little hand and let go of the string.

"Good job," Caroline praised Lucy as she squirmed out of my arms. They took off again, collapsing onto the blanket we'd spread out. Leah slipped her arms around my waist and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

I smiled as I watched the girls- as I held my wife tightly against me. It wasn't the easiest life, but it was a good one…so good. We loved, fought, and laughed, more and more every single day. The joy that our kids brought us multiplied through the years, and we never thought twice about talking about Eli. He was the heart and soul of our little family, and even though he was gone from the earth we knew we'd never _ever_ stop loving him.

Leah's arms tightened around me and I pressed my lips to her forehead, happy that I had someone as strong as her to walk through life with. I was thankful that she even let _me_ take care of her sometimes. And most of all, thankful for Eli, and for what loving him had helped us to find.

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><p><strong>Huge, giant, awesome thanks to JD and Sarah for agreeing to take on this sad little story with me. Your support and hard work has been amazing and perfect and I love you. Thanks to pmu at SheWolfAwards, lisamichelle17 and the PervPack ladies for your lovely recs- you say the sweetest things to me. ;) <strong>

**Thanks again to all of YOU for reading this story (and any other crap that I've written!), you've made the past few years a ton of fun. It's been an awesome experience stepping into the non-canon world and I've truly enjoyed every minute of it, so if you followed from some of my canon stories, thanks for taking the leap with me.**

**I don't know if I'll be writing again any time soon, but then again I never say never...and I'm always around on Twitter being incredibly lame, though, so come find me. /IdPattThat**

**Thank you again, **

**Ashley **

**XOXO**


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